Favorite (Riley Saying) Things

I think my kids are two of the funniest people I know. I am constantly surprised by and snorting from their humor.

My daughter, the 4 year-old, has been amazingly funny lately. As this this third baby’s arrival gets closer and closer, I am beginning to appreciate my first two kids even more.

Every day on Twitter, I tweet a “Riley Quote of the Day.” I thought I’d share a list of some of her funniest moments with you. If you haven’t already, you can follow me on Twitter, too, and make sure you can read her hilarity each day. Let the smiling begin…

“Once upon a time, Jesus walked on the water. He was magic!”

“So, when you have a baby in your tummy, you don’t have a brain in your head?”

“Thank you for giving me grapes. You really love me!”

“I’m tired, from playing outside, taking vitamins, and eating food. I did a lot today. I need to rest.”

I caught her kissing her mirror. I asked why she was doing that. “Because I love my mirror.”

“Mom, you should take a break…’cause you are crazy.”

“When my brains inside [pointing to her head], it, like, hurts and I have a head-ick.”

“I want to take a cat nap, not a dog nap.” Since, obviously, cat naps are shorter than dog naps.

After two hours of driving, she said, “My eyes are about to go to sleep.”

Trying to write her name and having trouble with the “R”, she let out a big sigh and said, “That ‘R’ is a little tricky.”

Riding her scooter, she exclaimed, “Mom, watch and learn.” She then proceeded to biff it 2.57 seconds later.

On her play phone: “Barbie, did you text me yesterday? ‘Cuz I texted you at the park…”

“I want to use this one. It’s meteor size.” I think she meant “medium” sized.

“We live in the United States of the Beach.” I wish.

Biting into her graham cracker into shape of a hexagon and said “It has 6 sides. It’s a hexagon.” Yeah, my kid’s a genius.

“It’s like freezing hot in here!”

To the checkout lady at Wal-mart, “I don’t work here.”

“Dad, you are a BIG, BIG genius!”

“Some people don’t know about God. We need to tell them. I will shout it!”

To her 2 year-old brother: “Don’t eat butt paste buddy!” Pausing, she looked at me and asked, “What’s butt paste?”

After reading Jesus turned water into wine, she decided, “I wanna do that with milk and turn it to a princess toy.”

After falling down, “Mom, my toe is jacked.”

Looking me straight in the eyes, “What’s going on with your face?”

“G means Jesus! A, B, C, D, E, F, G…Jesus!”

What’s the funniest thing you have ever heard a kid say? What are some of the funny things you said or did as a kid? What is your favorite childhood memory?

26 thoughts on “Favorite (Riley Saying) Things”

  1. Oh my GOODNESS! Laughed at EVERY one! Hilarious! Alexa did a funny one today I posted on FB…..I used to be SOOO good at writing them down all the time and I have gotten horrible at it. Here I haven’t written down much of the FUNNIEST years! I agree… kids REALLY DO say the Darndest things! That’s why I love having them around.. the comedy factor is worth all the craziness! Love em!

    1. I agree. Just when they are starting to frustrate me, one of them will say something so hilarious.

      Or when we are trying to discipline them, but what they are doing is cracking us up. Jonathan and I have to try and hide our smiles.

  2. After taking my four year old nephew to the mall I was carrying him to the car because he was falling asleep and he told me “my batterie is dead, I need a new one.” Caught me off guard and I laughed pretty hard! Kids are so cute!

  3. Loved this post! What a funny kid!! One of the things I used to say when I was probably a little younger than Riley was “I’m so exciting!” when what I meant was “I’m so excited!” Haha, I’m so looking forward to having kids and writing down all of the crazy things they say! :)

    1. That is so funny! I’m laughing right now. I can just picture little Ashleigh “I’m so exciting!”

      When Jon was 4, he walked out of Disneyland for the first time and said, “Everyone loves Jonathan.” Makes me think of that.

      Make sure you write their funny stuff down when you do have kids. I just pull out the book and flip through it from time to time and it always makes me happy. They’ll appreciate having it when they are older too, I think.

      1. Haha, that’s awesome. I can totally see how Disneyland could make a kid thing that!

        I think you’re right. I mean, at least eventually. They might not like it when they’re in middle school, but later on, I bet they will. :)

  4. My Hana has said many funny things over the years to but the one I think of happend a few months ago. She has always been a “Fasionista”. So as she was walking down the stairs(making her grand enterance as always) Points at herself from head to toe and says ” Are you seeing this?” With a smile from ear to ear. She was so proud of the entire outfit she had created. Shes too much. And those quotes of Riley are so hysterical. Thanks for the laughs this morning.

      1. Just remembered one more. Again Hana @5 yrs. Just after watching her favorite movie(at the time).A line in the movie where the main character says “Become another person. Become another person.” and he changes. She looks at her baby stroller and says” Become another stroller. Become another stroller. Mom, That movie was all wrong. My stroller still looks the same!” in a very disapointed voice. So silly.

        1. SO funny. Kids logic totally makes sense too.

          I had a friend who was a school teacher. She was getting married and her new last name was “Boyd.”

          In trying to explain maiden names she asked her class what her old name must have been and they said “Girl-d.”

          Makes total sense to a 6 year old.

  5. “I caught her kissing her mirror. I said why are you doing that? “Because I love my mirror.””

    I love that. My son Eli once picked up a cupcake and said “Oh cuppacake. I love you cuppacake. I love you so much. Now, I eat you.”

  6. The one on her scooter where she says, “Watch and learn mom.” had me on the floor.

    Pride cometh before the fall.

    So funny. Love that you are keeping track of all this.

  7. Too funny! “Mom you need a break…cause you’re crazy.” Cracking up!

    My nephew used to say Holy Mackerel all the time, we think he got it from a teacher. So we tried to get him to say holy cow and he started saying, “Holy sheep! Holy stinky pig! Holy chicken!” I love how his mind works. The last time we hung out he said, “Auntie Carla, I’ve got climbing boots on!” So we climbed a tree.

    My other nephew heard Mark and I’s first anniversary was coming up and said, “Oh, maybe they want us to come visit, so we can help them eat their cake.” Too cute!

  8. These are hilarious! She has such a unique personality. In a good way ;-)

    Finley said to me the other day: “God fills us with his Spirit…like a hot air balloon.”

  9. Oh my… these were SO funny! I shared a bunch of them with my family. Kids say such the cutest things (even if yours never did quite warm up to me) :) . I hope she had a wonderful birthday! Love and hugs to you all!

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