Happy Wednesday and happy He Said/She Said day. In the past, i have written quite a bit about sex. I guess I’ve got sex on the brain, what can I say. I’ve covered topics like male sexuality and the controversial issue of having sex even when you don’t feel like it.
Today, I thought I’d devote a post to sex yet again. This time I’m sharing ways to improve your sex life. I am, of course, working under the assumption that the two people doing the horizontal mambo are married…’cause that’s how I roll.
Here are 15 ways to improve your sex life:
1. Do it more often– You know the saying “practice makes perfect” yeah well, that applies to sex too. The more sex you have with your spouse, the more likely you are to improve on the good parts. I think I can see the men smiling over this one already…
2. Be patient- When my husband and I were engaged we took a marriage prep class. A sex-expert (a sexpert..he he) explained to the class one week, how he and his wife didn’t hit their sexual stride until about 10 years into their marriage. Now, someone could read this and become a little discouraged. I say, however, this is encouraging news and goes to show that sex can and does just get better with age…so have fun enjoying it now and in the future.
3. Be creative- Now one couples idea of creative will certainly be different than another couples. Creative for some might be leaving the lights on, while for others could include whipped cream. Yes, I said it…whipped cream. Are you blushing? I am. Find the creative things that both of you are comfortably willing to try in bed. Which leads me to #4…
4. Kinky is allowed- Just because you are married and a Christian doesn’t mean that your sex life is required to be boring and vanilla. Most everything (with the exception of a few things) are permitted in the Christian husband/wife bedroom. Hooray. That should be exciting news. This doesn’t mean you need to participate in everything. It just means that there is freedom to do so without fear or judgment (well, I might judge you a little, but hey…)
5. Show and tell- Show each other what you like and tell each other why you like it. Fun and done.
6. Say “yes“- The more you say “yes” to sex, the more you will be having sex, thus improving your sex life.
7. Quality over quantity- However, even in having more sex, quality is still more important. Do what you need to do to make sure you are enjoying personal, intimate, loving time with your spouse, not just checking off an item on a check list.
8. Foreplay is your friend- Realize that foreplay for a woman is vastly different than foreplay for a man. Women operate much more in outside-of-the-bedroom-foreplay meaning their husband doing the dishes, or tidying up, giving the kids a bath, or offering them a massage. A woman needs to feel ready (i.e. appreciated and sexy) before walking into the bedroom. Men, on the other hand, do just fine with physical touch-foreplay. Go figure.
9. Relax- This probably applies more so to ladies, but perhaps some men too. Sometimes the stress of the day or week can prevent you from relaxing enough to even get in the mood. Ask for a massage. Take a hot bath. Pray for peace and relaxation.
10. Set the mood- Sound a little cliche? Yeah, well, it is, but it also works. Light some candles, turn on some sexy music, slip into some lingerie (the women not the men). Mood makes a difference.
11. Send your kids away- If you need to, have your kids babysat while you enjoy a romantic interlude. Nothing says lovin’ like a toddler-free home.
12.-Pray- Yes, pray for your sex life. Crazy concept huh? But God really does care, so ask Him.
13. Receive counsel– If you have any sexual hang-ups maybe counseling is a natural next step. Our sexual past can affect our current marriage and there is no reason to let it.
14. Set a goal- With your spouse decide to have good, quality sex 2 times or 3 times a week. Promise each other a reward, like diner and a movie, for accomplishing your goal.
15. Schedule it- I’ve written about this before and no, it ain’t sexy but it helps. Set a day and time each week to have a romantic interlude. We mark our calendars for everything else, why not prioritize sex, as well?
Alright, now that I’ve got you thinking about sex…what would you add to the list? What tips or tricks have improved your own sex life within marriage? Disagree or agree with anything on the list?