I feel like I’ve backed myself into a corner. I feel like I’ve created a monster, wherein I casually debate hot-button or controversial issues on this blog, and thus people are expecting me to feed that monster. Truth be told, I don’t want to feed it. I want it to slither back into its cave and leave me alone.
But it’s not going anywhere.
I’ve debated in my mind over and over again about how, and if, I should address the issue of homosexuality and gay-marriage on this blog. I’ve had people write me and ask that I do. I have friends, whom I love, that daily struggle with this issue in personal and profound ways.
My knee-jerk reaction has been to write a divisive, controversial, button-pushing post on the subject, clearly articulating my views, and simultaneously pulverizing the opposition. I felt certain that if I did, it would cause a ruckus, but I felt ready for that response…or so I thought.
Thankfully, in the midst of feeling the need to respond to this news article, or that court decision, this legislative act, or that blog post, I stopped and did the one thing that always makes things clear…
And God spoke. He told me exactly what I was to do and exactly what I wasn’t to do.
And wouldn’t you know, God did not want me to engage in a cultural debate, at least not in the way I had assumed. He did not want me to “set the record straight,” interject my opinion, stir the pot, or be just another voice clamoring to be heard amid the deafening noise.
So, I listened and this is where I’ve landed, somewhere between grief and frustration. I find myself broken-hearted, physically wracked inside over the “gay-debate” raging within the church–feeling ill about the way in which homosexuality is discussed, handled, mishandled, twisted, and abused by all sides.
I find myself sifting through different emotions day after day, only to discover one thing is still true. One thing is still right. One Person is still the only voice I should be straining to hear…
It harkens back to the post I wrote about Mark Driscoll a while ago. Yes, I came to Driscoll’s defense, not because I agree with him on everything or because I even really like the guy, but because he is, despite what others would have you believe, my brother in Christ.
I asked a question then, that I believe, is perfectly reasonable to ask now: Are the so-called Christians who are writing, bashing, voting, hating, judging, and manipulating the issues surrounding homosexuality in the church, actually praying about these things before they act? Are they seeking God’s will before they engage in this debate? I doubt very many are.
Elizabeth Elliot once said (and I’m paraphrasing) that if every believer, instead of whining, complaining, or asking for another’s advice would spend 2 days praying about that question or concern, they would undoubtedly find an answer:
“…do not speak about the decision to anyone but God for forty-eight hours at least. Just hold it before Him alone. Keep your mouth shut for two days. Pray. Listen. Seek his counsel.
Try this, too–sit before Him for fifteen consecutive minutes in silence, focusing your mind on the words of Psalm 86:11 (NEB), “Guide me, O Lord, that I may be true to thee and follow thy path.”
I think of this often. I think of this when I consider whether or not to write about something on this blog, especially something as difficult and emotionally-charged as the issue of homosexuality. I know God has something to say about it and I mean this when I say it– I doubt if hardly a one has solemnly prayed for the Lord’s wisdom and words before adding their own voice to the pack.
But what we want is to win. We want to point a-big-fat-I-told-you-so-finger at the other side. We want to prove them wrong and we’re willing to sacrifice Christ’s name and reputation to do it. It grieves my heart and no doubt it grieves His, as well.
It would not take much to know His will, His heart, His mind on this issue and for an issue as important as this, I think 48 hours is so little to ask…don’t you?
To be clear, I am not desiring to open up a debate on the issue of homosexuality in the church, so much as raise the issue regarding our quickness to join the debate versus our slowness to seek the Lord’s face in prayer. Do you agree or disagree with my observations?
image from here