When You’re in Love…

from the archives

When You’re in Love…

You think about the person upon waking up.

You can’t wait to talk.

You’re reminded of them throughout your day.

You’ll happily spend time with them, even if it means canceling plans.

When You’re in Love…

You tell everyone about the love in your life.

Things that once seemed crucial, suddenly seem less important.

Just being in their company is enough.

When You’re in Love…

Being apart is painful, unbearable even.

Things that once seemed trivial can become romantic.

You’d travel as far as necessary to see their face, be in their presence.

When You’re in Love…

Giving up something for them is done easily.

You’d happily spend a fortune on them.

Serving them becomes second nature.

When You’re in Love…

You could talk for hours and never be bored.

You couldn’t imagine your life without them in it.

You’re constantly reminded of how you don’t deserve them.

When You’re in Love…

When thinking of your future, they are always in it.

You smile when you hear their name.

Some might describe you as smitten, preoccupied, even obsessed.

You can’t fall asleep without telling them how much you love them.

So, how in love are you?

post inspired by Francis Chan and his book Crazy Love

20 thoughts on “When You’re in Love…”

  1. Thank you so much for this poem! While reading it, I was waiting for the twist, the last snarky comment, or at least something to equalize it and make it less like a rom-com. It wasn’t until I read the inspiration that I got it. Oh, Francis Chan, you challenge me. These things might all be very true for that special guy or gal in our life, however, the real focus, the true love of all our lives should be our Lord and Savior. What truly got me was that “some might describe you as smitten, preoccupied, even obsessed.” That is an amazing description of how visible our love of Christ should emit from our lives; even when we don’t say a word, our love for Him should our strongest and clearest trait. Thanks again!

    1. Ha! Thank you Brittany. I was trying to make the whole thing vague and see if people thought of the person in their life or the Person in their life. It’ll be interesting.

      You said it well–our love for Christ should be evident even without us saying it. That kind of love is what people are drawn to and our Lord deserves nothing less.

  2. My question is, is it okay when the love feels every day? Yes, there should be constant discovery, questions, searching, and longing, but is okay if your walk with God becomes . . . well, maybe not losing it’s passion but, normal? Like, maybe more something you are instead of something your obsessed about? (I’m contemplating both my relationship with God and with my husband)

    1. Judy, I think it’s normal for our relationship with God to become “normal,” but I don’t necessarily think that we should settle for normal. I think of King Davod, for instance, who certainly experienced lows, committed sin and the like, but he was constantly seeking and praising God. He was in love with the Living God, no question.

      C.S. Lewis in Four Loves talks about the different types of love and how a relationship cannot survive on the first type of love–the infatuation stage. Marriages would crumble. Marriages must transition to the stable, committed form of love.

      That is not to say, however, that just like our relationship with the Lord we should settle from here on out that our love life always be the same. There are times and things we can do to add back in more passion, romance, sex, intimacy, spark, fun, etc.

      When things begin to feel normal, mundane, or commonplace, we can seek to spend more time with God (or our spouse). We can commit to sharing in more intimate times with the Lord (and our spouse). We can do the things that we once did that made us fall more in love with the Lord (or our spouse). You get the idea.

      There is something to be said for the committed love that grows in marriage and with the Lord, but there is, in my opinion, always room for falling more in love.

  3. Wow Nicole. This has really challenged my faith. It’s easy to get so complacent when you’ve been in a relationship for a while. The sparks fade, the fun and sparkle disappears and routines become mundane. Just like a marriage, our relationship with God requires effort. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice and everyday, we must make that choice to follow Him, to serve Him, to love Him. I almost forgot that. You are awesome, thanks for a beautiful post.

  4. When I started reading it I was thinking about my fiance and how in love I am with him. And then I read that it was by Francis Chan and felt convicted. I wish I knew how to keep that kind of crazy love active in my life towards G-d. Because I do love G-d. I love him dearly, but it seems like a different kind of love. It’s hard to explain.

    1. Joy, it is a different kind of love. I agree. But I think the more we seek intimacy with Jesus, the more He can become the lover of our souls, which is an extraordinary and unexplainable kind of love.

  5. Tellingly, I was halfway through this before I figured out the real relationship you might be talking about. Good post.

    1. John,
      Others have said the same thing…and that I think is was makes the style of this post more effective. I was convicted when reading this section in Crazy Love and it inspired me to write this. Thanks for sharing and being honest!

  6. Love. Man, talk about something that should be second-nature but seems to instead cause me to wrestle with it and try to figure it out.

    I have come up with this so far:
    I AGAPE people since Jesus also loves thusly. This allows me to meet strangers, and family members I don’t know intimately, and love on them. I have yet to be able to pour myself into someone’s life without restraint until I know them personally. This seems to go against the norm of loveyloveylovey everyone no matter if you know them or not. I am simply NOT there yet. So I seek to agape others firstly, since in doing so I am not hating them, but instead offering love to them that has no familiarity. It works for me.

    I FILIAL others whom I have established and built meaningful relationships with. This is a love that has a face, a purpose, a vision, and probably also a covenant (but that’s a different story altogether). I do NOT filial strangers. I cannot. (I actually get a little weirded out when strangers, although brothers/sisters in Christ, tell me how deeply they love me in Christ when we have just met.)

    Anyhoos, to your posting: I love Jesus because He lets me. Simple as that.

    1. Donald,
      I really appreciate your honesty here. You saying that you aren’t there yet. All of us, could love more–with more abandon, more passion, more freedom.

      The church family I am a part of convicts me of this often, just by virtue of being so intimately involved in my life. I feel compelled to love others–outside of my little life–the same way.

      The Holy Spirit has grown my agape love to be sure. I have felt almost instant love for people as of late. Like an automatic love switch and let me be honest too–it sorta scares the crap out of me.

      The responsibility, both emotional and spiritual. Not to mention wanting to serve, give, bless, in the physical too. Man,….

      Jesus must have moment by moment felt almost undone by love. But, His love can undo and put back together–ruin and reunite.

      I love Jesus because He is worthy. Thanks for sharing Donald. Your comment really stirred me.

      1. Nicole,

        The ‘responsibility of love’. Boom. And there it is.

        So easy to put 1 Corinthians 13 on our refrigerators, glancing at it when we open the door to get some snacks, but what does it really, REALLY, mean? I simply do not know. I want to know.

        We are told to just love one another as Christ loves us. Like it is so simple, so easy to do, and like it should be the first thing we learn. But love takes a healthy dose of reality to understand the implications and responsibilities of what His kind of love really is.

        Yes, I am working it out. I am. I understand His love as much as He allows me to see (as through a glass darkly), but sometimes I wish He would just ZAP! me with full understanding. *sigh*

        Until then, I look to others within our Family to speak about it and to show it to me, opening up doors long closed in my own heart. I appreciate you and Jonathan, Nicole. Thanks for being the you that Jesus wants you to be.

  7. Some of those things, while there is nothing wrong with them per se, are more indicative of a teenage crush than a mature committed relationship. (Being apart is unbearable? Some might describe you as obsessed?) I love my husband deeply, but I can’t describe our relationship this way (nor would it seem healthy to me if I could).

    I realize it’s a metaphor for our love for God… so am I supposed to feel guilty that these things don’t describe my relationship with God either?

    I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not as close to God as I could (or should) be. But I wouldn’t measure the health of a relationship by how warm and fuzzy I constantly feel about the person (or deity). Those feelings are not always going to be there, and that’s when the commitment part becomes more important than ever. I think it’s why we make vows. :-)

    1. Erin,
      Thank you for being honest and sharing how you feel. Let me assure you first off, however, that I didn’t write this to condemn people. The Holy Spirit convicts, He doesn’t condemn. So no, you aren’t supposed to feel guilty and if you do, that is not my intention nor are those feelings from Jesus.

      Secondly, you are right in saying that no earthly relationship can mirror this list. It is too extreme, too “immature” too over-the-top…and yet…

      Does that mean it is impossible for us to have that kind of relationship with our Jesus? I don’t know. I don’t presume that I walk around obsessed with God, but if you ask my parents who do not know the Lord, they might say that I am. All throughout scriptures we read of people preoccupied with the things of God and God Himself. John the Baptist looked pretty obsessed to most people. ;)

      More than that, we certainly also operate in seasons with the Lord, just like people in our life. We have highs and lows, abundant seasons and droughts. But, you referred to “warm and fuzzies,” while there is some of that on this list–there are also actions. Do we cling to God, cry out to Him, profess our love, sit with Him, share our hearts even in the hard seasons?

      I know I can do better…not because I’m trying to check off a list of “right” Christian behaviors, but because His love demands my response.

  8. I have yet to experience any form of love with a human but my love for Christ is deeper than anything one could explain. I have a burning passion for Christ and I adore Him. Maybe one day I will have the opportunity to explore a love in the natural. Beautiful poem by the way.

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