I Want a Break From God

My high school senior English teacher was pretty much Elaine from Seinfeld. I loved her. We all loved her. During one of her famous passionate lectures, she once commented about how nice it must be to be a stupid person. She explained that there must be something quite freeing about being able to shut off your brain and quit thinking about something–to essentially think about nothing.

Because intelligent people, she argued, were always thinking. In fact, they never stopped thinking…and it was exhausting. She envied the dumb.

This resonated with me (not that I consider myself brilliant by any means)–the fact that I cannot stop myself from thinking. I read this the other day and smiled because it is me: “I’ve been overthinking about overthinking again.”

You’d think that thinking would prove more fruitful, but no. Instead, I wonder how I get here again and again. It seems so futile–the race and the running, when despite my best effort I find myself doing just that.

And that is part of the problem, my effort. I hate striving. I hate watching “Christians” strive for Jesus. Wondering what we can do for God instead of being with God. Working instead of abiding. Trying instead of receiving.

So when it’s my turn, I feel like a failure and a liar. A fraud. Continue reading I Want a Break From God

I’m Not Roadkill

I have a confession to make and it ain’t pretty. In fact, I’m a little embarrassed to tell you. {sigh} Here goes…

I’m insecure.

It makes me squirm a little just to write it. But it’s true. I am insecure.

Big deal, you might be thinking, considering each and every human being on the planet is probably insecure about something. I know, I’m not unique or special, but here’s why my insecurity really sucks…

…because no one knows (I mean, they do now since I just announced it on a blog). People around me assume that I have my ‘ish together. My hair is done, my house is clean, my kids are well-dressed, my marriage rocks. And basically, those are the things people take inventory of when deciding if someone has it together or not.

Oh, well, she’s not disheveled or drunk, so yeah…she’s good.

But, I’m not so good. Actually, lately, I’ve been bad. Actually, actually, I’ve been sad. I don’t discount post-pregnancy hormone shifts that wildly vary from me feeling like crying to me feeling like screaming are contributing, but it’s more than that… Continue reading I’m Not Roadkill

Should God Alone Make You Happy?

Recently, in a church gathering the discussion of whether or not “God is enough” came up. Some passionately explained that “God is enough” for them and that we, as believers, don’t need anything else.

I, however, just as passionately disagree. Yes, I concede that God is enough–or rather He can be enough, but He isn’t meant to be “enough.” God never intended for us to walk through life with nothing but Him.

The discussion reminded me of this post I wrote quite a while back. Do you agree or disagree? 

Christians don’t throw around the word “happy” too often. We are cautious of the word because we think it sounds earthly, temporal, and fleeting. We much prefer the word “joy.” Joy is of God. Joy is rooted in something more than a mere mood or a passing event. In fact, the joy of the Lord is our strength, so says the Bible.

But, is it so bad to just want to be happy? I mean, happiness is still cool right? It’s okay for Christians to be happy, isn’t it? Personally, I’d take a big ‘ol plate of  happiness any day of the week.

Filling up your life with things that make you happy is healthy, and yet I know some Christians for whom this is especially difficult. They operate under the belief that God alone is suppose to make you happy…and nothing else. Happiness, they believe, should come from Him and nowhere else.

Is it sacrilegious for me to say that I disagree with that statement? God says we shall worship no other god. I’m all for that commandment but does that mean that God is to be the sole source of our happiness? Can we find happiness elsewhere? Continue reading Should God Alone Make You Happy?

Friday Findings: Asexuals, Introverts, and Scantily Clad Women

Frieday Findings on Modern RejectHoly crap, it’s November. I’ve been excited it’s finally Fall and the holidays are around the corner. What are your favorite things about Fall?

Mine include raiding my kids Halloween stash, eating other people’s delicious seasonal baked goods, and consuming lots of turkey and cranberries. Yeah, it’s all food related. Don’t judge me.

Okay, so onto this week’s Friday Findings:

The people who brought us the Bible on our phones–YouVersion, now has a new Bible app for kids. The homeschooling mom in me is geeked out about this, in fact. Looks like it might pretty good instead of really cheesy like most Christian kid things.

Sonny wrote a great post called When We Were Asexual.” Don’t be fooled by the title either. It’s not what you think and it’s so good.

My husband is a go-getter. You know, one of those people who is full of ideas and then writes down goals and then achieves said goals. He even wrote a personal mission statement. I did not. But this post inspired me to maybe go ahead and write one anyway.

Can an Introvert Really Be a Pastor? The title of this post sort of got me all huffy. “Of course they can! For the millionth time–Introverts like people!” This guy has a different take and while I don’t agree with all of his points, it’s a valuable read.

Rapper Ja Rule Talks About How Hillsong Changed His Life. I wish he had just yelled “Jesus!” but I still love watching stuff like this. God can use any church, any pastor, any believer, any gathering to reach whomever He chooses.

These 20 Photos Are Going to Make You Cry (in a good way). They made me cry, but I’m a big baby so…

I wish this “Open Letter to Professional Church Staff Dudes” from Los really could be sent to churches everywhere. Brilliant.

Man, us moms get it so wrong sometimes. We are always hardest on ourselves, as these kids prove.

Have you guys seen BatDad yet? Because if not, you’re not living.

My favorite from the week. Warning: scantily clad women in lingerie. Totally purposeful and worth it though.

Thoughts? Reactions? Loves? Hates? Go!