Little boys are repeatedly told to control themselves and to channel sexual aggression into other more “constructive” areas, like sports. While girls, on the there hand, are coddled and told that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel (everything), it’s okay to be in touch with every emotion they experience. In the era following feminism, as well as a culture obsessed with the discussion of feelings, little girls have grown up to think nothing less.

Women begin to believe that crying is customary–that our ability to conjure up tears at the drop of a hat, for say a police officer who caught us speeding a mere 10 miles over the speed limit, is a secret weapon we can employ when necessary. We begin to believe that our emotions are not only acceptable, but womanly. Heck, we think being emotional is our right.

The problem, however, is that while men are being told to suppress their natural instincts, women are being told the opposite. But, should women control their emotions? On the one hand, men are taught to not give in, whereas women are often told, sure, give in whenever you want. Feel free to feel everything and then act emotionally.

To be clear, I’m not advocating that women should, in any way, become emotionless robots devoid of the essence that makes us women. What I am saying, however, is that the more women are taught to give into their emotions, the less happy they become. Letting one’s emotions run wild is not the path to emotional fulfillment. In fact, it might result in the opposite occurring: an unhappy life.

Dennis Prager, columnist and radio show host, puts it this way:

Consequently, the women many of these girls grew into lacked the ability to control their natures, to control their emotions, or their moods, and therefore lacked the facility to engage in the self-control necessary for happiness and the avoidance of depression.

When our emotions control us, we are very often unable to control anything else. We are tossed to and fro, from one passing emotion to another, never certain of where we might land. When women do not have control of their emotions, they are much more likely to find everyday situations cause for sadness. What a man could potentially reason his way out of, a woman sometimes easily succumbs to.

Men are rarely described as moody, for instance. I doubt many men sneak off at work to cry alone in a bathroom stall. But ask a woman if she has ever been called moody. Ask a woman if she has held back tears in her place of work. Most will say yes and on more than one occasion.

More than that, society rarely tolerates a hot-headed, quick-tempered man. We call him a jerk, but a weepy, emotional-roller-coaster-of-a-woman is usually not given a second thought. “Oh, she’s just a woman…”

I’m not saying that women lack critical thinking skills or that all women are emotional minefields. What I am saying though, is that more and more women have begun to view their decisions subjectively instead of objectively. They internalize everything, which often appears in an outward emotional display, whether appropriate or not, whether constructive or not.

Women, just like men, need to be taught from a young age that their inherent nature, which leans towards the emotional, is not always acceptable. Just as men must learn as boys, that their aggression and physical nature, must be directed towards more constructive areas. Woman have suffered a great deal for not learning to understand, and yet balance their own nature.

Emotions are a beautiful thing and so are women. We simply need to have a balance of the two.

Do you agree or disagree? Do you think women tend to be too emotional? Do you think this has adversely affected women?

Pssssst- If you like this post, you may be interested in checking out more Wednesday He Said/She Said topics, where I discuss all things related to men and women.

We can be opposed to something. Resist something. Object to something. Politely disagree with someone. But what we cannot do, what we are told is unconscionable, is hating anything, because hating something means we are operating in black and white. Right or wrong. Good or evil.

The problem, however, is less and less people believe in the idea of good and evil. Black and white makes them uncomfortable. Truth makes them squirm. The in-betweeness of gray, is a much more comfortable place to dwell–the uncertainty of life, as it were.

But, I believe in right and wrong, Light and darkness. Good and evil. I believe in God and God hates. Oh, we don’t like acknowledging that fact. We would rather run a thick, black, permanent marker over those passages of scripture.

But He does. God hates and well, then, so do I.

Christians are suppose to be identified by their love for one another. Not their love for those outside the church even, but one another. If our love for the Body of Christ is to be our identifying characteristic, how then can we hate?

Because genuine love causes us to hate. The love of Christ compels us to hate the things that are not of Him. His love compels us to hate that which would tarnish His reputation or belittle His name. His love compels us to hate the things that draw us away from Him and the things which He Himself abhors.

And so I can freely say:

I hate murder.

I hate divorce.

I hate acts that harm children.

I hate sex trafficking.

I hate addiction.

I hate pornography.

I hate rape.

I hate the ugliness of pride, in myself and others.

I hate idolatry.

I hate violence.

I hate evil.

I hate…

No surprise, that most of these are the very things that according to scripture, God hates, as well.

And I know this, and I believe this, and yet even as I type these words, a part of me begins to rise up and object. A part of me, the part hat has been raised in this tolerant, mulit-cultural (crock) pot, feels resistant to the use of the word “hate.”

It feels so permanent, so final, so cruel, so un-loving. But one definition of hate says: to dislike intensely or passionately; feel extreme aversion. And I long to feel this way about the things God hates. I long to passionately dislike and feel an extreme aversion for that which is not of God.

It starts with recognizing that which He hates. It starts by dwelling on the things of God–fixing my mind on heavenly things, thereby drawing a deeper division between myself and the things that are not of God. It starts by not being afraid to use the word “hate” in the first place. It starts by loving that which He loves: justice and righteousness.

It starts by acknowledging that hate is not a bad word, because when we hate what the Lord hates, haters are welcome.

How do you feel about the word “hate”? What, if anything, do you actually hate? How can Christians best communicate a message of love for Jesus and others, but hate for things which are evil?

Anyhoo, how was your week? Mine went by quickly, which is always nice because I cherish my weekends. I did happen to come across some cool stuff this week. But let me warn you, it’s a hodge podge. I was all over the place…

Victoria’s Secret Model quits to honor God and her marriage. You read that right. I hope this little article gains momentum.

And the Worst Wife Award Goes To... by the hilarious and humble Bianca Juarez.

The Womanhood Project. Imagine a group of women, coming together, to write about one thing: the word “womanhood.” Well, I had the privilege of contributing to this project. It ranges from serious to sarcastic, humorous to heartfelt. I promise you’ll enjoy.

Interview with a Conservative Christian. I really enjoyed this interview via Rachel Held Evans blog. I think more and more, Conservative Christians are being given a bad wrap, especially those involved in politics on any level. I found this interview to be well-stated, articulate, and rational.

I’m a Reject Because… Last week, I asked, for any of those interested, to submit a blog post on why you are a reject. So far, I have received some great entries, but I want more! So, go ahead and tell me why you are a reject. I’ll be posting the pieces in March. The deadline is February 25th.

So there you have it, my picks for the week. What were your favorite things this week? An article, blog post, video? Share away!

While at a recent family dinner, gathered around a humongous table in an obnoxious dinosoaur themed resaurant, I asked the question, “Why get married?”

People get married for all kinds of reasons. Some good some bad. Some beneficial some dangerous.

The obvious answer to “why get married?” is because you’re in love and stuff…yadda yadda yadda. I’m a semi-romantic, if there is such a thing but really? Love? I think that’s one of the least appealing reasons to get married.

Here’s why-marriage is about, at least in the beginning, growing up and living with someone on a day-to-day basis. It’s about getting along with someone and serving them even when you don’t feel like it. It’s about commitment and steadfastness.

Sounds boring and a little painful huh? Well, maybe on some days. But most days love and the mushy gushy feelings of love, are not going to be what keeps you content, patient, or even together. Love is of course necessary. It is the underlying current but not the sole motivator.

I was wondering, why did I get married? I am not trying to sound like a Tyler Perry movie..I’m just asking. I mean, I loved Jonathan at the time. But I had been in love before and hadn’t gotten married then. I’d even dated someone that I wanted to marry before Jonathan but didn’t marry him.

I realized there were a few reasons I got married. One, was that I was just ready. I was older, a bit wiser. I knew what I wanted (somewhat) and what I didn’t. I was finished with college and had lived on my own. It was just the time. Marriage was the natural next step.

I also knew I had met my match in Jonathan. I met a man who was all the things I had wished for and all the things I hadn’t known to wish for. God is so good like that. And so when he was presented to me, so to speak, I felt for the first time like I had met a man who I would enjoy the rest of my life with, which was key for me.

People, unfortunately, do often get married for so many terrible reasons. For instance many people tie the knot for financial reasons, or for comfort, or because they’ve been together so long that they feel obligated. Of course we all know of folks who walk down the aisle because of out of wedlock pregnancy, or co-dependency or a host of other unhealthy reasons.

And that night at the T Rex table there were some funny and sweet answers shared as to why people got married… here are a few of them…

• “Not having to leave each other at night…waking up next to each other.”
• “Getting to be with your best friend all the time.”
• “Feeling that you are built for marriage.” Meaning that some people are better suited for and more excited about marriage and thus do so sooner and faster.
• “Sex!”
• “Being able to share and build your dreams together.”
• “Someone to cook and do laundry”
• “Knowing that this is the person God has for you”

What I love is that everyone gave a different answer albeit some answers were possible argument starters with the others spouse. And that’s okay. Everyone has a different reason for getting married…as it should be.

What’s yours? Why did you or do you want to get married? Or why do you not want to be married?

He explained how he once followed blogs like mine and Rachel Held Evans, but how now, for some unexplained reason, he no longer cares. He cannot say for sure as to the reason why, but he is no longer interested in Evangelical blogs or even the idea of Evangelical Christianity, for that matter.

I spent the weekend mulling his thoughts over. My feelings weren’t hurt. I didn’t take it personally. The thing is, I kinda get it, because the thing is, I sorta feel the same way.

Which got me thinking, why do I write Modern Reject? And really, why does anyone read it, because I’m pretty sure you should quit reading this blog…

I mean, Modern Reject is just one blog in a sea–ocean–of blogs. Many of whom are better written than mine. More than anything when I started blogging, I never wanted to be just another Evangelical voice, clamoring for recognition and status.

Of course, we are always our harshest critics and I’m no exception. But despite my nay-saying, I do believe Modern Reject is something unique and there is reason for that. The reason, is that God told me to start blogging (believe the wacky girl who hears from God or not).

But if you want cookie-cutter Christian theology or to be spoon-fed the status-quo, than you should quit reading this blog, because I try to let the Lord lead me in what to write. That means, sometimes I step on some toes and I’m okay with that.

More than that, Modern Reject is not built upon some magical platform. I don’t have a book published. I’m not a nationally recognized speaker. I’m just a stay home mom who somehow, miraculously squeezes out a few blog posts a week, and just as miraculously, all of you show up to read them. Never ceases to amaze me.

If you’re looking to read the words of a great Christian leader, author, speaker, or guru though, you should quit reading this blog. I’m none of those things. I’m just a girl determined to figure out this whole “working out my salvation with fear and trembling” thing.

And to be honest, I’m so often behind on current Christian events, I feel like I’m usually playing catch-up. I didn’t read Rob Bell’s last book or even Mark Driscoll’s latest book. I don’t attend a bunch of Christian conferences to get the inside scoop on what’s going on in the church. I’m not an insider.

So, if you’re looking for insider in the Christian church, you should definitely quit reading this blog. I’m an outsider, no question and find myself slowing moving more and more to the outside. No worries though, there is freedom here.

I’m not an expert on anything. I don’t have a PhD or a Masters degree. I don’t make my living by advising, consulting, or even writing. I’m not a professional blogger.

I’m a lover of Jesus, who has a passion to write and speak to anyone willing to listen, because I believe I’m following the path God has set out for me.Modern Reject isn’t a business, it’s a ministry. With each email and word of encouragement from all of you, the more I’m convinced…the more I believe my husband when he says, “You can never quit.”

I am not the most ambitious, driven, motivated blogger on the block either. I mean, I’m no Jeff Goins or Michael Hyatt. I try to take blogging semi-seriously, but only so much as to not let it interfere with my number one priority–my husband and my children.

In reality, I’m actually lazy when it comes to this here blog. It has been one of the greatest tools to stretch me out of mediocrity, a place I usually find quite comfortable.

And look, I don’t know why The Minor Prophet isn’t interested any longer, but I somehow understand. There are a lot more important things in life than blogging. There are more important things to pursue with fervor (like Jesus) than endlessly debating the pinnacles of Evangelicalism.

So, you decide if you want to keep reading, but if not, I’ll understand. Because this blog isn’t even mine. Do I love it? Yes. Would I miss it if I quit? Absolutely. Would I miss you? Undoubtedly. But, in the end, all the words I’ve written don’t matter nearly as much, as what He has to say about me.

Please know, I am not fishing for compliments. I’m just doing what I do, which is process my thoughts by writing about them here. So the questions are: Why do you read blogs, not just this blog? What do you get out of them? Do you ever feel fed-up with the constant “talk” of the church and just wish we’d walk the walk?

That has now changed, however. What was once me casually perusing the Internet, hopping from site to site, has now turned into a systematic Google reader filled with dozens of different blogs.

Although, I don’t just read Christian blogs. Go figure. I like a lot of other things. People often ask me what, or who I read, on a regular basis. So, I thought I’d share a sneak peak inside my Google reader. The following is a list of the blogs I read and their categories:

Political. I am a political junkie, which is strange since I rarely, if ever, write about politics (that might change soon though). My fave political blogs include:

Hot Air–A good mix of humor, politics, and rants.

Politico–Great coverage of Capitol Hill, elections, and lobbying.

National Review, specifically The Corner–Conservative rants at their finest.

Mark Steyn–A funny Canadian with a taste for American politics. He’s the real deal.

Huffington Post--So much great content. What’s not to love?

Michelle Malkin–A lot of liberals hate her and that’s sorta what I love about her.

Home Design and Decor. I love design blogs. It’s a hobby. Okay, an obsession actually. If I didn’t write Modern Reject I’d have a blog called Modern Casa or Modern Crib ( or some other synonym for “home”) wherein I would discuss paint colors, diy-projects, and throw pillows. Seriously. I mean it.

Young House Love--Two adorable diy-ers making their house a home.

House Tweaking–Another diy, home, fixer-er-upper blog.

Making it Lovely--The lovely blog of designer Nicole Balch. She has great taste.

Oh Joy!–The impeccable and deliciously stylish blog of Joy Cho.

Vintage Revivals–The blog of stay home mom and decorator extraordinaire, Mandi. She’s about as cute as it gets.

Made by Girl--The blog of Jennifer Ramos, who loves design and God. She is also the designer of the “I love you blogs and coffee” poster on this post’s image.

Guilty Pleasures-Okay, all of us have a few (or maybe more than a few) blogs we visit in the privacy of our own home. By that I mean, hidden in a closet, in the dark, under a blanket, because we are ashamed. Well, I’m not ashamed. I admit I read some pretty trashy stuff from time to time. Don’t judge me. Join me.

Go Fug Yourself--I have lost hours of my life on this site. Hours, I tell you. Celebrity clothing mishaps? It doesn’t get funnier or more shameful than this.

Pinterest--While not a blog, this site is a serious guilty pleasure and time suck.

Hey Girl, Ryan Gosling–If you have yet to see these blogs floating around, well then allow me to introduce you. I especially love Ryan Gosling homeschooling. {sigh} So funny…

My Cat is a Dick–Yes, that is really what it’s called and yes it is pointless, with no redeeming qualities…but oh, so hilarious.

Sh*t My Kids Ruined--Any parent, and even many non-parents, will find this site laugh-out-loud-funny.

Christian – Lots to read here. It’s a long list. Take heed (also note that I couldn’t list every Christian blog in my reader. There are far too many, but here are just a few).

Big is the New Small by Scott Williams–Coolest guy on the Internet. Not kidding.

Sammy Adebiyi--One of my favorite blogs. Period.

Good Women Project–Many contributors and an ongoing discussion about what it means to be a good woman.

Jr. Forasteros–Pop culture through the lens of faith. Always good.

The Lazy Christian–Rachel Snyder and her witty, Truth-filled, writings.

Rachel Held Evans–While I often disagree with her, I respect her mind and writing very much.

Michael Hyatt–Hyatt’s blog makes me want to write a book, run a marathon, lose 10 pounds, start another blog, and quit biting my nails. It’s that motivational.

Jamie the Very Worst Missionary–I want to be like Jamie when I grow up.

The Church of No People–Matt Appling’s blog, which always inspires me and is always a great read.

Grit and Glory–Alece’s blog, which without a doubt, expresses some of the most poignant and powerful thoughts on God’s goodness, grace, and redemption.

In the Name of Love–This is Bianca Olthoff’s blog. She is a dynamo, a teacher among teachers, and such an inspiring woman.

Other. Just some of the other goodies I like to read. Mostly mom blogs, because hey, I’m a mom.

Dooce–Who doesn’t read Dooce?

Finslippy--This blog is wonderfully written. It inspires me to be a better writer. Plus, Alice Bradley is about as funny as it gets.

Only Sometimes Clever–My friend Karen’s blog that is about God, motherhood, homeschooling, and so much more. She is a wise mother and devoted follower of Jesus. I admire this woman.

To Think is to Create–Arianne is the sister of one of my dear friends. She is an amazing writer who has such power and depth in all she writes. She is a mother, follower of Jesus, and inspiration.

Okay, so there is a small sampling of some of the blogs I read. If you didn’t make the list, please don’t be sad. I read more than this, but couldn’t possibly list them all here.

So what blogs do you frequent? Who is in your reader? What are your all-time faves and why? Plus, if you have a blog LEAVE A LINK TO YOUR BLOG TOO!

But recent events have driven me to take notice. What I once shrugged off as Christian banter, I now recognize as something much more. I now know that Mark Driscoll has a lot of enemies, those who would desire to see him fail, be fired, or worse. And well, I just wanted to let Mark Driscoll know that he is my new best friend. You see…

I’ve begun to grow increasingly tired of all of the Driscoll bashing, hating, belittling, and finger-pointing. It seems as though every time I set out to read a blog or scan my feeds, there appears yet another target on Driscoll’s back.

Matthew Paul Turner, on his blog Jesus Needs New PR, recently published a two-part blog series describing an incident which MPT used to illustrate Driscoll and Mars Hill as “abusive,” which led others to call the church “cult-like.” Author and blogger Rachel Held Evans wrote a post titled Mark Driscoll is a Bully, in which she decried his inappropriate behavior and defamatory language towards homosexuals. In all fairness, I am not picking on these two bloggers, either. They are simply examples of the type of rhetoric surrounding Driscoll.

To be clear, I do not advocate Driscoll’s actions in verbally attacking men he may find effeminate. Nor do I condone church abuse in any way, obviously (though I wouldn’t refer to discipline as abuse, either).

But most of all, what I don’t support, what I cannot tolerate, is the ongoing attack of another believer.

Your Own Pastor

What if Mark was your own pastor? Suppose, just for a moment, that the pastor of your church had an moment of…let’s call it…poor judgment? Say your pastor made an inflammatory, sexist remark to a member–or members–of the congregation. How might you handle this situation? What if you were personally offended or, worse yet, the hurtful comment was directed at you?

Now, I know some will argue that Driscoll’s behavior is not merely poor judgement, nor has it been only one instance. Still, I ask you to consider how you would handle the issue of your own pastor taking a similar misstep. Perhaps even imagine your pastor has had more than one instance of questionable character.

Would you write a blog post calling him a bully? Would you write a series of posts pointing fingers at him? Would you tell everyone you know to avoid this man at all costs?

And what if someone, outside your local church, began verbally attacking your pastor, having never met him nor set foot inside his church?

Oh, I know what critics will say. We are the church. Us believers. So, as the church, we have the moral, spiritual, and Biblical authority to judge and rebuke those within the church (1 Corinthians 5:12-13), especially those in leadership (James 3:1).

Really? Because based on scripture, I don’t see any accounts of people outside of a particular church body making any such claims. Paul wrote to many different churches offering admonishment, rebuke, and correction when needed. Yet, we know that he did so having intimate knowledge of those church bodies himself.

Being a part of the Body of Christ does not give us a free pass to pass judgement on just anyone in the church as we see fit.

Spirit of Attack

What I find most distressing, however, over the recent and growing onslaught of articles and posts about Driscoll is not so much that people don’t like him. I get it. He’s maybe a little arrogant, machismo, controversial, even a bit sexist. What I find more alarming is how quick those in the church at large have been to bash him.

There seems to be a spirit of attack growing within the Christian culture. We feel that because we are a member of the body, we have free reign to say it like it is, place blame, point fingers. Again and again. And it’s not just Driscoll. Anyone in the public light is open to our ongoing criticism and critique.

And how much are we to blame for these so-called superstar pastors? We elevate and idolize the mega pastors–the Rob Bells, John McAurthurs, and Rick Warrens of the world. Yet, they aren’t celebrities and they aren’t superheroes. They are ordinary men, doing God’s work.

And if I remember correctly, the Bible says that others will recognize us by our critique of others. Or wait, was it, we will be known by our judgement of one another? No, that’s not right either.

Ah yes, now I remember…

We will be known to those outside of the church by our love for one another. Our. LOVE. For. One. Another.

Of course, some might argue that Driscoll using terms like “limp-wristed,” in regards to men, isn’t exactly being loving himself. True. But do his sometimes offhanded, even insensitive statements give us permission to respond in a spirit of attack?

Does one sin excuse another? Does sin beget sin? Aren’t we essentially saying that bad behavior warrants us to respond with more bad behavior? Because that is what those outside of the church will see.

If you think that unbelievers will only notice Driscoll’s response and not our own, you are sadly mistaken. People will–and do–see so-called Christians attacking another Christian and know it’s not in love.

What’s more, Jesus reserved His harshest and most damning rebuke for those who were hellbent on seeing Him slip up. You see, the Sadducees and Pharisees didn’t just dislike Jesus from afar. They were actively trying to trip Him up. They twisted His actions and words to suit their own purposes–the purpose of exposing Him as a fraud. It was the ultimate game of “Gotcha!”

And how different are we? The members of our body sit on the sidelines, watching and waiting for the Mark Driscolls, Rob Bells, and other superstar pastors of the world to slip up. Because it’s really fun to pull someone down. Definitely more fun than building someone up, right?

The Right Response

Granted, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t know what the right response should be to an individual like Driscoll. I don’t prefer much of what he says, but I also recognize that he still has a powerful ministry that is preaching the name of Jesus Christ. The Jesus I love and follow. The Jesus that is supposed to be our singular and defining thread as believers. Mark and I are members of the same body. He’s my brother. He is my bff.

And at the end of the day, that is really what I care about. Jesus Christ. Some might say he gives Jesus a bad name. I say the collective response of others towards Driscoll isn’t giving Jesus a much better name.

Bloggers, tweeters, and Facebookers are really good at mouthing off. It is almost a requirement for this social media age–getting it out there, saying what “needs” to be said, informing the masses. But if Jesus were sitting right next to me, looking at my computer screen, what would I really want to write about this–or any other brother–in Christ?

We shall be known by our love, not our judgement or critique of one another. Our love, not our ability to trip one another up or make assumptions. Our love, not our righteous anger or condemnation. We cannot judge a man’s intentions, motives, or heart. God can…and does. Our response is to be in love, seasoned with truth and grace. It cannot be one or the other. It has to be both.

How do you feel about the articles and posts written about Driscoll? Do you feel there is a spirit of attack within Christian culture? What do you think is the right response to church leaders?

People ask me all of the time why I named this blog Modern Reject. I have to say, I love the name. It was inspired. It captures me so perfectly and the things I like to write about. But more and more, I have come to realize that it represents many of you, as well.

Lately, I’ve had the idea rolling around in my head to start a “I’m a Reject” series written by all of you. I mean, I love that you show up and read what I have to say, but wouldn’t it be nice to hear from someone else for a change too?

So what is a reject? Well the dictionary says this:

A reject is someone who is dismissed as inadequate, inappropriate, or not to one’s taste. A person or thing dismissed as failing to meet standards or satisfy tastes.

I also always think of Christ stating in Matthew, “The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone.” And isn’t that always the way it seems to go? That which the world finds useless, unlovely, imperfect, Jesus redeems and makes perfect.

So, I am asking for you to share your stories of what being a reject looks like for you. Do you reject the norms of American church life? Are you a rebel in your family, among your peers, workplace, or community? Have you been rejected for following after Christ?

Why are you a reject? But don’t just answer here. If you are so inclined, I am taking submissions to this question and will be choosing a few (I haven’t decided on a number yet) to publish here on Modern Reject.

The guidelines for submission:

Tell the story of why you are a reject.

Make it 300-500 words.

Have fun.

Tell me a little bit about yourself too.

Email me your stories by February 25th

But don’t think you have to send in a submission to answer the question. I want to hear from you right now, too.  So let’s hear it. Are you a reject? If so, finish this sentence: “I’m a reject because….”

This week, in my laziness and lounging, I have really just been enjoying being home with my kids, who have been very sick the last week and a half. Granted, being stuck at home with the three of them does make me want to scream some times, but overall it has been relaxing. I’ve also managed to peruse the internet more than usual.

Here’s some of what has struck my fancy this week:

More Mark Driscoll. I’m not here to take sides on the “is Driscoll a jerk or not” debate, but I will point you in the direction of a post by Matthew Paul Turner of Jesus Needs New PR. He wrote a noteworthy post raising the question as to whether or not Driscoll and subsequently, Mars Hill Church, is abusive in their discipline and authoritative roles over their congregation. I commented on the post myself, and got into a bit of a verbal mudslinging match with a few of his readers. Ugh. I hate that, but I just couldn’t be silent. Silly me.

Beyond Evangelical. This is the blog of Frank Viola, who is considered one of the forethinkers on organic church (who also happens to be one of my favorite Christian authors and theologians. Although, I wonder if he would call himself a theologian). I have had the privilege of meeting Frank and he is a passionate, thoughtful, revolutionary for Christ. All that to say, he recently wrote a post series addressing the major streams of evangelicals. Want to know which type of evangelical you might be? Read the post.

The Guilt Idol. My blogging buddy Malisa sent me this post and thought I’d like it. She was right and so I’m sharing it here (P.S. If you stumble across something you think would be a fit for Friday Findings, send it my way). This post is by PC Walker, a writer and pastor, who discusses how we make an idol out of our guilt. Intrigued? You should be. It’s good.

Posters and Prints, oh my. Okay, I’m obsessed with graphic posters and prints. I wish I could just cover the walls in my house with them, but that might be a little much. But that doesn’t stop me from hoarding images of each and every poster I wish I could own. My husband’s new office needs some artwork. My baby’s nursery could use some artwork. My dog could use a poster or two (okay, you caught me, but still….) Here’s what I love right now:

This one for my gorgeous and fiery daughter

This one for my wild monster of a 3 year old

This one for my bedroom, along with this one, and this one.

This one appeals to my inner comic-book-Batman-loving geek.

And this one and this one for my hubster’s new office space.

Also, if you’re on Pinterest and you need someone to follow, I’m available. It is not Modern Reject stuff, just things I love, adore, or covet. Follow me.

That’s all for now. Happy Weekend! But before you go, tell me what you were into this week. What did you lust after, dream of, read, or find inspiring? Share away!

…Things like scrapbooking, play dates, girls night out, quilted Bible covers, any mention of the Proverbs 31 woman, Beth Moore, touchy-feely-ness, emotions, and Christian romance novels. Eek!

Now don’t get me wrong, individually, I have secretly (and even occasionally, publicly) enjoyed many of these things, but that doesn’t change the fact that they also simultaneously make my skin crawl.

For a long time, I used to believe that I was just born a bit of a rebel. I can remember as a child naturally questioning authority. I never just took someone’s word for it.

As I grew older, that tendency to question turned into a bit of skepticism, but not for long. Upon knowing Jesus, I really did let much of my skepticism go. It seemed that the answer to so many of my questions was Him.

However, I remain somewhat of a rogue agent, I suppose. I never like doing what everyone else is doing, but I also get icky feelings about participating in certain things. Women’s Ministry, as it were, is one of them. As for why, I’m still trying to figure that part out.

Perhaps I don’t like being a part of the crowd, just another face, just another number. Much of my experience in women’s ministry has been sort of that–me, alongside dozens, if not hundreds of other women. Perhaps it’s something else though…

Perhaps it’s that, as my husband jokes, I’m more like a dude than most women. I don’t get weepy. I don’t gush over babies. I don’t like to snuggle. I don’t like talking about my emotions (even though I freely type about them here).

And so much, it seems, of women’s ministry is emotional. Feel this, talk about that. Again and again. It is tiring and I find it self-indulgent.

Perhaps I don’t like women’s ministry because I’m jealous, which would really make me insecure. Maybe I don’t like feeling the need to compare myself to a whole slew of other women. Putting on a brave face when everything is really turning to crap, is not fun to me. Maybe I would just rather not pretend. Maybe I’d like my meltdown to be done in the privacy of my own home.

Perhaps I’m just being judgmental and doing exactly to them as I assume they are doing to me. I’m judging their hearts, motives, intentions. When so-and-so is talking about her marriage or her children and how God is doing great things, perhaps I’m rolling my eyes because well, I want great things too, and sometimes I feel uninvited to the great things party.

Perhaps none of this means anything and the only reason I say I don’t like women’s ministry is because I don’t like women. Ouch. But just maybe…maybe I’m not so good at being around women, knowing women, trusting women. Perhaps its not really what they are doing or aren’t doing, but that I’m afraid to join in.

Perhaps I’m afraid that if I start to like Ann Voskamp, women’s retreats, luncheons, recipe swaps, and decorating tips you’ll all see right through me. You’ll see that I’m lonely at times. Scared at times. Doubtful more than I’d like to admit. Uncertain about my abilities as a mom, blogger, Jesus-follower. Perhaps you’ll see the stuff I don’t want you to see and then what do I do?

How can I make fun of the fluff, if the fluff isn’t really worth making fun of? How can I criticize from afar? Where do I go from there? I suppose a Beth Moore Bible study is a great place to start…

How do you feel about Women’s Ministry? Yay, nay or indifferent? Has any part of a church or the body left you feeling uninvited, longing, or made to feel like an outsider?