I wanted to have the words…the right words. Words to comfort and give revelation, power and healing.
But they didn’t come.
I wanted to write about suffering and God’s purpose, about evil and overcoming.
But, I didn’t and…I can’t.
I wanted something I read somewhere else to comfort me and encourage me, to remind me of God’s goodness and His sovereignty.
But, I never did. I read words–beautiful words–that offered hope, but did not ease the pain.
I wanted to do something, anything, besides cry and pray, and cry some more.
But, I couldn’t.
But this is what I know…
That even when I can’t feel it, Jesus Christ is still good….
And even when I can’t see it, Jesus Christ is still King.
And I know this, that evil exists–and not in some abstract, untouchable, unknowable way. It exists now. Evil lives and breathes and destroys.
And it kills.
It kills dreams, and futures, marriages, and tomorrows, somedays, and families, innocence, and God’s promises.
Evil, on that day, thwarted God’s plans. Evil won.
But, I know this too…
It’s not over. The story is still being told and still being written.
God has not been subtracted from its telling. No.
He is thick and in the midst of it. He is the one doing the writing from here on out.
And if we allow Him, and we pray His power and purpose into being, and we allow Jesus to gather us up like a hen and her chicks, and we don’t forget the pain and the horror, and we surround ourselves in His beauty, then maybe…
Just maybe…
The story we will tell our children will have a different ending, where death and destruction is not the finale.
Where hope sprang forth and suffering had it’s terrible and glorious way in us. Not wasted. Not in vain. And not without making someone, anyone, more like the shining Son.
And I know this…
Beyond anything else, as sure as anything I have ever believed…
On that day, and beyond…
Jesus wept.
beautifully said. there really isn’t anythign for it, but just to rehearse those truths. this tragedy reminds me of the Gungor song, “This is not the end,” which encapsulates your thoughts here, the knowing, the longing, the believing that this is not all there is, this isn’t over and there will be a day that we will open our eyes wider. If you have heard it, go listen. so encouraging. hugs to you, as a fellow heart-broken Mama for other heart-broken Mama’s.
“The story we will tell our children will have a different ending, where death and destruction is not the finale.”
And there it is.
Yes, evil won this battle. This is that moment when His Sovereignty will be challenged, doubted, and vilified. This is when the atheists and God-haters will point their fingers and make the claim that He doesn’t exist, for surely if He did this wouldn’t have happened. And so on and so on. Tedious at best; offensive at worst.
I live in Bethel, CT. Newtown is right here, and I regularly shop there and visit it. There is a heaviness in the air, as though we are all existing in a library and hushed tones are now being used. There is a definite sense of loss, sorrow, and death. It seeks to suffocate us.
While this is a tragedy of huge proportions, I cannot and will not allow anyone to use this as an excuse to mock our God. I know there is confusion. I know there is doubt. I know there is pain beyond pain. It would be easy to use these things as the lowest common denominator and either retreat into emotional isolation or scream forward in anger directed at God.
But He is Sovereign. He is Eternal. He is very real. He knows what pain is, for truly, did He Himself not allow His own Son to die a death He didn’t deserve?
My House is committed to maintaining prayer and intercession for the hurting families of our small community. That’s all we can do. Everything else is on the shoulders of our God to attend to.
Sometimes, that’s the only thing that’s appropriate – weeping. There is no explanation that is adequate because our hearts aren’t comforted by logic. We just sit and suffer with our brothers and sisters.
Your words express reverence, respect and perception for hurting, confused victims of an incredible tragedy. They also exude the profound truth of God’s relationship and feelings in our lives.
Thank you.
Right there with you, Nicole…I don’t have any answers that will make the pain stop, but I have the confidence that one day it will stop; He will supply the answers, if He chooses to, or not…and either way, I will be satisfied, because He will be there in His glory…and I want to believe the children will be there with Him.
“Where hope sprang forth and suffering had it’s terrible and glorious way in us. Not wasted. Not in vain. And not without making someone, anyone, more like the shining Son.” Amen.
Oh wow. That is exactly what I put on our church sign Saturday night… Jesus Wept.
It’s time now to put a message of hope on that side of the sign. Been praying about what to put (in 7 words or less). Funny, no matter how much we text, talk, type, for some things there just are no words…
My first reaction to this horrific tragedy was shock, then anger and a desire for justice. I had so hoped this shooter would have been caught so he would have to face judgment. But this desire was rooted in pure anger and the thirst for his blood. I wanted our Father to punish this man, harshly, quickly, and with extreme prejudice. But the reality is, that is no way to address any situation when mere men become monsters and take innocent lives. These Scriptures came to mind, and I am hoping they will bring peace to whoever reads them, for they brought peace to me.
“Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret–it leads only to evil.”
Psalm 37:7-8
My friends and family in Christ. Please read this statement from the parents of Josephine Gay, a young girl killed in the Sandy Hook shooting. I don’t even have the words to describe the strength and faith these people have through Christ Jesus. I am on my face, unable to move. Simply amazing.
Here is link: http://blog.ctnews.com/newtownshooting/2012/12/20/josephine-guys-parents-issue-a-statement/
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On Friday, December 14, 2012, our beautiful daughter, Josephine Grace Gay, was killed in an unimaginable tragedy at her elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut.
Joey, many of her friends, teachers, and school staff members were taken from our loving community. Joey turned 7 three days prior to this tragedy and was looking forward to celebrating at her birthday party with many of these friends the next day.
Although our family is devastated, we are deeply comforted in the knowledge that she is no longer scared or hurting and rests in the arms of our Savior, Jesus Christ. It is through His sufficient grace that we are able to get through this. Our innocent, trusting little girl stared into the face of unimaginable evil and overcame it in Christ. She was not alone in her courage.
Our small, close-knit community acted instantly. First responders from our town and those surrounding quickly removed surviving children and staff members from the scene. Connecticut state troopers have tended to our families around the clock, surrounding us with protection and compassion. Neighbors, religious communities, townspeople, and professionals are providing the care and love that we are so in need of now.
We see this movement grow daily with acts of love and kindness pouring in from around the country and the world. We see how evil is defeated.
Since Joey’s passing, we have received many media requests for our story and for pictures of our daughter. Although we are protecting our family’s privacy during this time of healing, we believe it is important to share some of Joey’s story. It will help us if others know what a special person she was and how she inspired everyone she met.
Joey was autistic and severely apraxic. She could not speak, yet she touched the lives of so many around her: teachers, therapists, friends, neighbors, all loved and cherished her. Joey was social and affectionate; she smiled, she loved hugs, and she even had a wonderful sense of humor. Her spirit was indomitable.
She participated in rigorous therapy and treatment on a daily basis without complaint. She loved to play with her Barbie dolls, iPad, and computer, swim, swing, and be anywhere her sisters were.
Josephine loved the color purple. Born in Maryland, she grew up in a family of Ravens fans and developed an affinity for all things purple. She rarely left the house without wearing something purple. After her passing, many friends who visited wore purple clothing to honor her. On Saturday a family friend tied purple balloons on the mailboxes on our street, and on Sunday the neighborhood children and her sisters and cousins released purple balloons with written messages of love to her in heaven.
We will not let this tragedy define her life. Instead, we will honor her inspiring and generous spirit. We have established Joey’s Fund in her name through the Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism.
The proceeds of this fund will help families raising autistic children. It’s our way of dealing with this pain and never letting go of her love.
Many people have reached out to us asking to provide help or support. We ask that, if you are able, please contribute to Joey’s Fund, and if you are so inclined, please wear purple on Saturday.
Bob and Michele Gay
How to donate:
Online:
Visit http://www.dougflutiejrfoundation.org/
On the donation page please select “in Memory of” and type “Joey’s Fund” in the box for “acknowledgement/address and comments”.
By Mail:
Send checks to:
The Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism
Specify “In Memory of Josephine Gay” on the check.
Mailing address:
The Doug Flutie, Jr. Foundation for Autism
PO Box 767
Framingham, MA 01701
For media inquiries please call 202-540-2378