I didn’t come to Jesus a virgin. Instead, I came to Jesus with far more sexual experience a girl of 16 should have. I also came to Jesus, however, somehow knowing that He didn’t care about any of that. He saw me as a virgin. It was a new day.
So, I suppose on some level, I expected the church to talk about this fact, too. I expected to hear rousing sermons on the gift of sex, ordained by God, pleasing to Him when experienced between man and wife. I expected to hear exactly what it was I was now waiting for, having once had sex, only to give it up in pursuit of Christ.
But, those messages from the church never came. Different ones did, however.
I think a youth pastor once talked about what not to do–how to not let things go too far with your boyfriend–so as to remain a virgin. You know, since virginity was the prize and all. Virginity, it seemed, was what all young Christian people were to aspire to.
Good stuff again. This was the same message I got from the church. I really think that the church needs to move away from the don’ts, and start finding the dos. The don’ts let us judge one another. There is always somebody worse, so we aren’t so bad. The do’s push us to be better. There is always someone better, so there is something to strive towards.
Well-said and a great point. We fall victim to comparing our sins against others…bad theology and thank goodness the Lord doesn’t do the same with us.
Nicely done, Nicole. I left longer comments at the other blog.
Like HeligKo said, I also believe we should focus on the ‘do’s’ and not so much the ‘don’ts’. Like being pro-Jesus instead of anti-World, we should focus on the positive, godly, and healthy aspects of maintaining sexual purity before we enter into a marriage covenant, for surely the biggest gift we can give to our spouses once we are in a covenant is our sexuality. I wasn’t a virgin when Jesus saved me, and not for nothing but I really wish I would have been. *shrugs* But, hey, things turned out swimmingly well nonetheless.
Virginity should be esteemed. It should. The mindset that, “Well, you know your kids are probably already having sex anyways, so instead of fighting against it we should show them it really isn’t that big of a deal” is atrocious. (Not that you are saying sex before marriage is a good thing, no! That was a general statement.)
It’s easier for the modern Christian (and probably the Christians of the past) to focus more on rules rather than relationship. Relationship is scary and takes focus and work. So we turn into present day Pharisees and hope that if we become rule enforcers others won’t see our lack.
John,
You nailed it! I’d love if you hop over to Jr. blog and leave this comment there. I think it would a lot to the discussion.
I love everything you said. I wrote a similar post just yesterday on my blog but more from the single gal side. Sex is a gift from God yet very few churches teach the “why” wait. Thank you! I’m going to link to this from my post. Great job!