Where Were You?

Yesterday, our nation spent time remembering the tragedy that struck 10 years ago. We celebrated the lives lost and the lives saved. We reflected on what it means to be an American and why it is so important that we never forget the resolve and unity we experienced in the days, weeks, and months following the attack.

September 11th, 2001 marked each and every one of us, no matter how significant or how seemingly small our connection was to those who were lost.

Generations past have other collective experiences: A man walking on the moon, the assasination of John F. Kennedy…

But our generation has the quiet Tuesday morning, when 4 hijacked planes made the world stop. We are united not only by the loss, but also by the memory we hold. Each of us was somewhere when we first heard the news or watched the television as a plane flew into the World Trade Center.

I was boarding the early morning ferry departing from Martha’s Vineyard and headed back to Boston where I attended college. I was sitting in my seat listening to the woman a few rows behind me trying to make an airline reservation from Boston to Chicago.

She became increasingly frustrated as the airline employee told her she could not make such a reservation. All planes were grounded. The Sears Tower in Chicago was closed down…some kind of threat. It didn’t affect me.

Hours later after a bus trip following my ferry ride, I watched the bus driver drive past Logan Airport without making his usual stop. People on the bus started yelling. “Hey, that’s our stop!” Stop the bus!” But the driver calmly explained that the airport was closed. The entire airport.

We were finally allowed to exit the bus at one of the downtown subway stops. It was another hour before I made it home. Upon walking inside, everyone in the room was crowded around the television. I walked over to see what was going on and there it was…

…the image of a plane flying into the building. I froze. I started crying. What does this mean, I asked. What is happening?

Someone answered…We’re under attack.

Each of us remembers exactly where we were when we heard the news or saw the images on the T.V. screen. A coffee shop. Your home. Your workplace. Let’s remember where we were so that we might never forget.

Where were you on the morning of September 11th, 2001? What were you doing and how did you find out the tragic news? How did 9/11 change you?

image props

Fear and Trembling (sans Kierkegaard)

Today’s post is a guest post from one of my favorite bloggers, Rachel of The Lazy Christian . She writes with great wit, heart, honesty, and truth. She might be my blogging soul-mate. I am excited to introduce her to you. If you don’t already know her, you should! (Did you catch her cleverness in the title?)

Oh, no. I’m about to end a sentence with a preposition, which I hate to do, but it has to be done:

What are you afraid of?

Me, I seem to be afraid of a lot of things. Misplaced prepositions, for one. Kidding! I think the biggest problem with my fears is that I can’t tell if they are irrational or not. I have a fear of wrongful imprisonment, which is a little irrational. I just think I watched The Hurricane one too many times in college. I have a fear of someone breaking into my house. That’s probably not irrational. It’s something that happens fairly frequently, and it may have been borne out of my desire to protect my family. In that vein, I also fear things happening to my husband and son which is—rational?

See, I have a hard time making the distinction. Part of me thinks that the quantity of worrying associated with a particular fear directly relates to how rational it is. The more I worry, the less rational the fear becomes. Does the likelihood of a fear materializing increase its rationality?

These are the things I ponder… Continue reading Fear and Trembling (sans Kierkegaard)

Confession: I Didn't Wait til Marriage…

“I’m participating in a blog series hosted by Ally Spotts called Confessions of a 20-Something Christian, where 20-Somethings get honest about their lives, loves and regrets. My confession is…

I had sex long before marriage. And here’s why…

Unfortunately, one of the defining characteristics of Christians (as defined by other Christians, of course) is that we remain virgins until marriage.

Heck, that alone explains why so many Christians get married young–they can’t wait to have sex. But then there’s me.

I didn’t wait until marriage because no one told me not to. Sounds a bit over-simplified, I know, but it’s the truth. I did not grow up hearing “Don’t have sex.” I was told about the mechanics of sex at any early age and then told to use protection when I was older.

The saddest part, is that I never actually wanted to have sex. I didn’t become a Christian until I was almost 17 and by then I’d already lost my virginity.

All along the way though, I never felt right about sex. I always had a feeling that what I was doing something wrong, dirty, or shameful. I went along with it because, well, it’s what all the cool kids were doing…

No, that’s a lie. It’s not what all the cool kids were doing. I had sex because I was looking for something… Continue reading Confession: I Didn't Wait til Marriage…

If You're a Christian, then You're a Loser

So much talk among Christians revolves around “getting” and “gaining.” God gave me this. God gave me that.

So much of our Christian life is focused on the things we’ve received: freedom, hope, peace, a future. Of course these are all things worth being excited about. But the Christian life is also about giving up things. This is the part people are less quick to talk about.

Yet this is the part I think Jesus talked more about. Losing our life…not getting stuff from Him. Being a Christian is not simply a list of tings God has done for us. It is more so about being losers.  If you call yourself a follower of Christ than you should also be prepared to call yourself a loser…

You see, the Cross means losing. The Cross is not only, or simply, about gaining a new life in Christ, but rather losing your life to find it.

We all have things we have had to lose in order to follow Christ… Continue reading If You're a Christian, then You're a Loser

I've Got a New Man…

So, it  turns out I was right about Thursday. I did have a baby that day.

After 15 hours of labor, including crying, screaming, sheer elation, along with no drugs and no epidural, I got to meet my son…

…Introducing Beckett Samuel Benjamin Cottrell (I know, it’s quite the name, isn’t it?).

He was 7 lbs and 11 ozs. 21 inches long. 12 days early. And completely perfect.

Allow me to show him off…

I'm Having a Baby….Today

It’s finally here–the time for me to have my baby. I’m expecting our little bundle sometime today, probably this evening.

I’ll be out of commission for a brief time, but don’t worry. I have posts ready for you all, as well as some great guest bloggers in the next few weeks.

Thank you all for your paryers, support, love, and friendship.

Here’s to Cottrell baby #3!

What is the Purpose of the Church? Part 2

Yesterday I posed the question: What is the purpose of church? It seems, at least based upon the comments left, that many of us agree on the answer to this question.

Yet, as I set out to write this post, I did a little research to see how others answered this question. There are wildly varying answers, to be sure. After a quick Google search, I found thousands of articles and blog posts asking this very same question, each with a different answer.

Some say that the purpose of the church is to evangelize. Others say that the Great Comission sums up the Church’s purpose. Even C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity says “the Church exists for nothing else but to draw men into Christ, to make them little Christs.”

But dare I say that I disagree with C.S. Lewis…because I do. I don’t disagree entirely, but I think the sole purpose of the Church is something different… Continue reading What is the Purpose of the Church? Part 2

What is the Purpose of the Church? Part 1

Depending on who you stop on the street, you will most likely receive wildly varying opinions to the question “What is the purpose of the Church?”

Is the Church meant to do good? Feed the hungry? Care for the orphan and the widow? Is the Church’s purpose to be a light to a dark world or to edify the saints? Does it have to be one or the other?

As my husband and I are venturing into the new world of house church, we have been “talking church” and this question inevitably came up. We have also met some resistance from other Christians (big surprise) who question the practice of house church because they feel it falls short in the area of evangelism.

Which also begs the question: Is the Church meant to be an evangelistic tool? Perhaps a better way to phrase the question is this: Who is the Church for, us or them? Continue reading What is the Purpose of the Church? Part 1

Thoughts on Turning 31…

Want to know how I feel about turning 31 today? Well, basically I think it sucks. I hate getting old and this birthday makes me feel old.

Not to mention the fact that I am enormously pregnant right now, expecting baby Cottrell at any moment.

I was scared to death to turn 30 last year. I had a mini breakdown. I wish I could be like those women who effortlessly grown older and sing of the virtues of old age. Women who make 40 look like 17 (Demi Moore…the ageless wonder) and who treat birthdays as just an excuse to order another cocktail.

But alas, I am not one of those women. I feel the pang of growing older because it forces me to examine what I’ve done and sadly, what I have not done. I tally all the things I’ve yet to accomplish and feel like time is moving too fast for me to ever really accomplish them all.

But then I pause and look at my life and its richness and fullness. I am overwhelmed by the love of my God, my husband, my children, my family and friends. I am drenched in acceptance, openness, and the daily beauty of being a mother, as difficult as it is some days.

This last year proved to be one of ups and downs, great opportunities and some loss, all the while God has faithfully stood at my side and upheld me. This time last year, I was just beginning Modern Reject not knowing what I was doing or why. Now, however, so much focus has been placed before me…so much clarity and resolve.

I hate that I’m officially in my thirties. I hate the way saying “31” makes me feel, but I love my life and am thankful for every moment of it. I love that God will never ever say, “You’re all done Nicole. Nothin’ more to learn here.” I love that birthdays are markers of not only where we came from, but where we are headed…and for those reasons, I love turning 31.

The Dangerous Christian

The Dangerous Christian

from the archives

When you think of danger, what comes to mind? James Bond? Racing cars? A haircut at Great Clips? Or perhaps the ever-gripping-television-phenomena, Ice Road Truckers?

When I think of danger, I think of “Mayday, mayday! Get out of the way!” To me, the word danger signifies a potential danger, something to come. I tell my kids not to cross the street alone or to touch the stove because it is a “danger.” It is the trouble that could come from not obeying the rules.

The word “danger” and Christian are not often associated unless someone is, unfortunately and incorrectly, stereotyping Christians. Christians are thought to be kind, gentle-natured, loving folks. Or they are portrayed as hypocritical, judging, fundamental, big-fat meanies. But can a Christian be dangerous and should they be? Continue reading The Dangerous Christian