Hooray! The day has finally arrived. Here is the glorious and splenderific new Modern Reject design. Feast your eyes on her beauty. I’m a proud momma, can’t you tell?
Most everything you have come to know and love on Modern Reject is still the same, just shinier and prettier. The new design has you, my wonderful reader in mind, making navigation easier and faster. Now, I’m still working on transferring over all my old content from Tumblr, but once it’s here, to the right you will find your favorite Modern Reject features, which includes all of my regular posts like He Said/She Said, Favorite Things Friday, Lists, and other goodies I write about regularly.
I love a good makeover and makeover movies are the best–Pretty Woman, Clueless, My Fair Lady (is it weird that I have a 1960s movie listed alongside a movie about a prostitute?)… you get the point. I’m a chick and, well, most chicks love a good makeover.
Before I lose the guys reading, let me ask you this… have you ever had a chick try and make you over? I’m sure you have. You see, women do so many times unknowingly. We simply see a “project” and think to ourselves… “Oh he’d be so cute with a haircut and new shirt… oh, and maybe a tan and some Crest Whitestrips.”
But, why are women so prone to trying to makeover a man?
This week I have begun to realize just how big my kids are getting. Granted they are only 2 and almost 4, but they are no longer the babies I once held.
I am by no means an overly sentimental type mom. I didn’t cry when they took their first steps or go camera crazy when they rode a tricycle for the first time. Lately, however, I have been feeling nostalgic for the time when they could fit on my lap or in my arms. Maybe it is the fact that I just turned 30. Maybe it is that my little girl turns 4 this month. How did this happen? I was expecting to have so much time. It sounds so cliche but seriously, where did all my time go?
I have been looking over my kids toys and baby clothes, first books, and pages colored in Sunday school. I wish they could stay little forever. Childhood is magical and watching them experience life each day is pretty much as good as it gets. So in the midst of my nostalgia and sappiness, I thought I’d share some of my Favorite (Kid) Things with you this Friday… Continue reading Favorite (Kid) Things
Last Wednesday on He Said/She Said I posed the question: What makes a man worthy of marriage? A lot of you weighed in on the subject, mostly men in fact. I determined that in order for a man to be worthy, he has to actually be a man. Then I listed three qualities that I think make a man a man, man (I love those Old Spice commercials, sorry). This week the question goes out to all the ladies:
What makes a woman worthy of marriage? Is it her good looks? Oh, I sure hope not. Is it her mothering skills? The way she cooks, cleans, or says “Yes, honey”? If so then I am in trouble.
I was mulling over this question. It seemed so much harder for me to answer. I was talking over the topic with my husband and he said this:
Just like men need to be men in order to be worthy of marriage women need to not be men, to be worthy of marriage.
We have all heard the saying: A good man is hard to find. This phrase is sad, but true. A good man is hard to find.
Good woman aren’t much easier to find. It seems that many young men and women today grow up to be anything but. Long gone are the days of men acting like men and women behaving like women. The values that once helped shape a young person into a admirable adult are no longer taught or even acknowledged, values like: honesty, integrity, courage, honor, responsibility, and respect.
Today, culture values values individualism, self-reliance, wealth and material success, education, and a cut-throat drive. In a world teeming with self-absorbed, self-focused individuals it is difficult to find people to befriend let alone marry. And if you are a woman looking to be married, it can be as I said before “hard to find a good man.”
I am a product of the self-esteem movement. Thank goodness my parents didn’t buy into the idea wholeheartedly. Children born in the 70’s and 80’s were raised based on the idea that building self-esteem is a critical component to raising well-adjusted children. There was a belief among parents that self-esteem was an extrinsic quality and needed to be fostered by parents themselves.
Kids were spoon-fed lies like, “You can be anything,” and “You can do it all.” Why were they told this? Because their parents bought the lie too, that building a child’s self-esteem is critical to raising an emotional healthy child. Problem is, it’s not.
In fact, the Gospel of Self-Esteem is dangerous.
In the wake of liberalism and political correctness, more and more parents are latching on to the notion of self-esteem. It has now expanded into schools and children’s sports, as well. In Ottawa, Canada a rule has been established by the local soccer league stating that a team cannot win by more than 5 goals. That’s right. If they score a sixth goal, they lose. In an attempt to make the losing children feel better about the fact that they lost, they have created “a non-competitive environment.” Swell, sounds like fun. Why bother playing?
Those who grew up swimming in the sea of the self-esteem movement were slapped in the face when the reality hit that not everyone is going to give you accolades or pats on the back. They very quickly realized that you don’t necessarily deserve praise just for showing up. You earn a reward when you perform well.
Your boss will not always throw you a “Job well done, Captain,” or an “Atta boy.” People expect responsibility and performance from adults. Go figure. There are certain things expected of us in life and there are other things for which we must strive. Confusing the two creates children—and then adults—who are underachievers and yet “over-expecters”. They have accomplished little, yet expect to receive the same kind of reward and recognition as those who have done much.
Now that I am a parent, I caution myself in praising too much or praising the wrong things. I try to avoid verbally praising my children for things that I expect them to do, like sit at the dinner table and eat dinner, or pick up their toys, or be kind to one another. That’s not to say that I don’t recognize those things, however. I give lots of “pleases” and “thank you’s”. I will say to my daughter for instance, “Did you know it pleases God when you are kind to your brother? Thank you for being kind to him today.”
I am certainly still figuring out the balance between praising my children and giving them unnecessary compliments. I am attempting to let the Lord lead me in this area as I listen for his instruction.
One thing the Lord has showed me is that children, do not in fact, gain self-esteem because someone lavished verbal praise upon them. Rather, self-esteem and self-efficacy develop from discipline, healthy boundaries, and in knowing the person of Jesus. God says we are valuable and worthwhile. He says we are treasured and can be adopted into His family through Christ.
God doesn’t place any emphasis on self-esteem. He places emphasis on knowing Him and letting Him know us. That’s not to say though that we can skip out on hard work or the effort needed to achieve something. God is a rewarder and He also created work for us to do. Yet, we find our significance and worth in and through Him. A “job well done” will never compare to a “Well done good and faithful servant.”
Are you a proponent or opponent of the self-esteem movement? How, if at all, has God encouraged your “self-esteem”? What is a good way to encourage and motivate others others?
Are you someone’s wife? If you aren’t yet do you hope to one day be someone’s wife? Well, let me ask you this…are you a hot wife? Okay, before you get in a tizzy, let me explain.
Are you a wife who cares about how she looks, for her man, on a day to day basis? Now, I am certainly not trying to re-enter the 1950’s and ask women to be cook a roast in a dress, heels, and full hair and makeup. But, I am suggesting that a little bit (of dress, hair, and makeup) goes a long way.
Here’s the thing, I know life gets busy. I have a 5 year old, 3 year old, and a 6 month old. Nuff said. They leave me little time to do much of anything besides take care of them. But looking good for your man should be a priority.
I am not suggesting either that you should look “hot” for all men. No way, just yours. And I am also not implying that you need to be “hot” in accordance to the worlds standards. You should try and be hot for your guy and your guy only, in the ways that are pleasing to him.This is not about whether you are a size 2 or a size 12. It’s about how to bring out and emphasize your best assets and bless your husband in the process.
If my husband hung out in sweats all day and rarely showered and didn’t care if he had shaved or not, I wouldn’t be too excited. Same goes for women and their appearance. If you got dolled up before marriage and then stopped after marriage, well, my dear, that is false advertising. Marriage is not an excuse to “get comfortable” and “let yourself go.” If ever there were a time to exert effort and place priority upon looking good, it is within marriage. Marriages are fragile enough in a world plagued with divorce. Attraction is a key component to a healthy marriage and sex life.
Staying attractive to our husbands and showing them we care is a simple process. I don’t spend the whole day gussied up. But an hour or so before my man comes home, I comb my hair, throw on some make up, and maybe spritz some perfume. I also smile and kiss him as he walks in the door. Yes, he’s seen me grungy and sweaty, grumpy, and tired. But I try to make that the exception, not the rule.
It may sound like I’m slapping feminists in the face, and that’s okay. I’m a Christian before being a feminist. I’m a wife before being an activist. God created women to be beautiful (check out Song of Solomon) and I like getting pretty for my man…and wouldn’t you know, he likes it too.
Do you think women should make an effort to look good? Do you agree or disagree with me?
As we begin this relationship you might be a little apprehensive about adding another blog to your already heavy blog dating life. You may be saying to yourself “Here’s another thing to read. It’s probably like all the others. I can’t commit to one more blog. I’m not looking for a one night fling. I’m interested in a serious relationship.”
Or perhaps you are somewhat of a blog virgin. In which case you might be thinking “Man I don’t know if I’m ready for this kind of relationship. Its all so new to me. What can I expect? It’s my first time.” Either way let me put some of your concerns to rest.
You certainly do have time for one more (or one) blog because this blog won’t break up with you. In fact, the post you are currently reading, marks our first date. It is the ideal first date filled with butterflies in the tummy and a rich chocolate shake with two straws for us to share.
And here’s what I can assure you: I will be faithful—faithful to Modern Reject’s voice and purpose and faithful to being generally awesome.
I also promise to be available and open, like any boyfriend and girlfriend, we can stay up late talking for hours. You have a question hit me up. You want to chat, send me an email. You’ve got troubles let me know how to pray and I will.
I also promise to not bail on you if say, the quarterback asks me out. Or if say another blog thinks I’m really cool. Basically I won’t ditch you for the next hot thing whatever that hot thing might be.
I will also try my darndest to be funny because humor is essential to any healthy relationship. Now I can’t guarantee that you’ll laugh out loud at all posts but I’m fairly confident that I can at least bring a smirk to your face. You know the kind of weird sideways smirk you make when something is kinda clever and a bit funny at the same time. And if while you had that smirk on your face, your friend or spouse or whomever were to look over at you and say “What’s so funny?” You’d respond with “Nothin’ you know, just something I read.” I hope to be that kind of funny.
And as my significant other you gotta have my back. I need you to look out for me too.
If for instance I start to put on a little too much weight, you know, too many ads, too many tags, too many links, just say so with “Nicole, unload would ya?” And I will.
If there comes a time too when I start to tell the same jokes again and again just knock me up side the head.
And don’t let me leave the house in some hideous green sweater that bulges and makes me look like a lumpy Christmas tree. In other words, as my better half, if I start heading in a direction that is unflattering or am rocking something that is not my best gear, be honest. I’ll listen.
And please don’t compare me to your past blogs or even current blogs. I’m my own unique person. I’m not here to compete with them. I know some other blog might be a really good kisser or be constantly hilarious. But man that’s a lot of pressure. Let me be Modern Reject and you won’t be disappointed.
I know that all relationships have their ups and downs but trust, humor, and the occasional awesome make out session can sure go a long way. Here’s to being the perfect couple.