Okay, I know this is a bit of a racy topic but it truly came about organically. I was brainstorming ideas for He Said/She Said with my husband one night. I threw this idea out, “Who enjoys sex more?”
Jonathan answered, “Well that’s an easy one.”
“Oh really?” I asked “You would say ‘men’ huh?”
“Yeah, men.”
“I disagree,” I explained. “I think men want sex more. They might even need sex more but I don’t think they necessarily enjoy sex more.”
He was quiet for a second.
“Huh.” He said and nodded his head.
Settled. I won.
So now onto you… Shall I try and convince you of my reasoning?
Don’t worry, I’m not going to get graphic or overly descriptive (or at least I don’t think I will).
Here’s what I think: women are, by nature, more sensual than men. Sensuality is not the same as sex. Although sensuality encompass both the physical, mental, and spiritual side of sex. The Beautiful Women blog described sensuality as this:
“Sensuality means to be aroused by things of beauty, luxury and refinement, to be aware of and explore the world, life and love with all the senses. To be sensual is to be aware of and appreciate the natural, ecstasy that can be found in the sensuous, passionate world of feeling…”
In short, sensuality involves using all of our senses to experience any number of things, one of which might be sex itself. Women rely on all five of their senses to respond, react, process, and make decisions more than men. Understandably so, women thus incorporate all five senses into lovemaking.
How does the room feel? Is it cold? How does it look? Is it dim, neat, romantic? How does it smell? Like dirty socks or fresh linens? How does it… taste? Well, you get the idea.
Now men on the other hand are blind to everything going on in any room, if the woman they love is there and ready to have sex with them. Any lighting, any smell, any anything, will not distract any man from the mission at hand.
Back to women. Female sexuality, unlike male sexual nature, has been a taboo subject for centuries, often avoided all together. Psycology Today says this:
Until recent times, to have attributed open sexual desire or the shameless pursuit of physical pleasure to a woman would have been to insult her character. With very few exceptions, this is still the case…The feminine is celebrated for its supposed passive, non-sexual character.
I do not want to pretend that women are in some way non-sexual or less-sexual than men. Men certainly enjoy sex… but so do women! God designed sex for both men and women to enjoy (in the context of marriage of course) not just to procreate. I believe women experience sex with all of their senses and, as a result, enjoy more of the full spectrum sex has to offer.
Call me wild, saucy, tawdry, scandalous, even controversial. But what I really want to know is do you agree or disagree? Who enjoys sex more (without getting too graphic)? Men or Women? I have many more reasons why I believe women enjoy sex more…let’s discuss. Tell me yours reasons and I’ll tell you mine.
Well, before reading this article, I would say “men.” But you make a good point. Question: wouldn’t enjoyment lead to an increased desire?
Being a virgin, I wouldn’t be able to make any meaningful contribution to this discussion… but what you’re saying makes sense Nicole, I love it! I chatted about it with two of my friends and they both seemed to agree with what you wrote. I’ve never really thought of it that way before though.
Both men and women enjoy sex in different way. In this post, you talk about woman and sex. But you don’t know what is to be a man, so you can’t tell about it. Take a false part of the text for example:
“In short, sensuality involves using all of our senses to experience any number of things, one of which might be sex itself. Women rely on all five of their senses to respond, react, process, and make decisions more than men. Understandably so, women thus incorporate all five senses into lovemaking.
How does the room feel? Is it cold? How does it look? Is it dim, neat, romantic? How does it smell? Like dirty socks or fresh linens? How does it… taste? Well, you get the idea.”
All these kind of thing are felt by the men, but some have less importance, some have more. The sensuality in women is something that is allow by the society now, but not for the men yet. We have still a barrier. Men must be strong. Men must be men. Women feel emotions, men not. Etc.
Another truly false quote:
Here’s what I think: women are, by nature, more sensual than men. Sensuality is not the same as sex. Although sensuality encompass both the physical, mental, and spiritual side of sex.
You say that women are more spiritual? What? How?
The mental part should be translate by: the major part of women need to be in love must of the time to truly enjoy sex. Most of the men don’t need to.
Brief, my short text can sound weird, firstly I am not English. The only thing that you have to keep in mind is that this text is totally false because of his non objective point of view and his stereotypes. If you are a woman, you will never know what it feel like to be a man. Same as a man to a woman. Even a man now will never know what it feel to be a man of tomorrow.
of course men do because male brain release more dopamine during sex
I must be a pretty strange woman, then. I am mostly oblivious to the finer sensory features of my surroundings, unless there is an interesting pattern on the wall or something.
I do think women care for those things mentioned before sex is even a question. But if things are rolling in the direction of sex, then the thing that is more intoxicating is not the state of the room but the man.
Does it really matter?
In the end, as long as the two people involved like what they are doing with each other, does it have to be quantified?
These types of musings, while interesting, only serve to further drive a wedge between men and women by reducing sex to some type of competition between the sexes.
The greatest danger we face as humans and indeed as Christian people is division.
Why not just rejoice in the fact that both men and women CAN enjoy sex- unlike our animal counterparts. And rejoice in the fact that our sexuality is not tied solely to reproductive pursuits.
Let’s focus on what brings us together, not what drives us apart.
Well any way for me, I will say women enjoys sex more than men. The reason why I say so that
1. wemen enjoys it right from the start down to the Ejaculating point
Then men only enjoyed it during the Ejaculating time.
I don’t really know that men do need it more then women do. I’m saying this as a guy and I think a lot of my male friends underestimate how horny women really are. It is a big need for a lot of women as well as men, some women when they are young even take it to having an insatiable need for sex that men just don’t seem to have. Lots of times after sex guys will fall asleep when the girl is ready for round two. Lots of guys are pretty damn horny for sure but I’ve never seen a guy take it to the same extremes that females sometimes do.