Go On, Ask Me Anything…

Since I started writing here on Modern Reject, I’ve had the great privilege of answering many of your questions. Granted, I’m not always sure of the answers. Many times I don’t know exactly what to say, but still you ask…and still I’m honored to respond.

So today, you get to ask me all of your burning questions. You can ask anything. That’s right anything (well, don’t get creepy or turn into that guy).

Do you have blogging questions? Want to know something personal about me? Wondering why I write about this and not that or where I  stand on a theological point? Do you have a question about marriage, sex, or dating? I’m all ears. Just ask!

My promise it too that if you ask the question in the comments, I will answer you. Cross my heart. But here’s the catch: you have to answer the question too. So go for it because, I can’t wait to read your questions…



30 thoughts on “Go On, Ask Me Anything…”

  1. Alright then . . . when looking to join a local church, what do you look for? Do they have to agree with everything you believe? Do they have to have all of the outreach programs you want to see?

    I ask because I’ve been thinking about this subject a lot lately.

    1. Good question Travis. Well my church experiences have been so varied–Bible church, charismatic church, Vineyard church, house church.

      My biggest indicator is the Spirit. Any

      church I have been a part of was
      confirmed for me in my own Spirit. I
      know it might sound mushy but Ive always had a feeling about a church.

      I certainly haven’t always agreed with an entire church’s doctrine or theology but that didn’t stop God from leading me there.

      From a practical standpoint I look for an open authentic honest community, genuine relationships, a good understanding and teaching of the Word, and like minded believers.

      What do you think you’re drawn to Travis? What have you been seeking in a church home?

      1. Well, I’ve been attending a LCMS Lutheran church for about six years now. I love the Lutheran tradition, but there are certain things about the LCMS that I don’t agree with anymore: inerrancy (although I DO believe God speaks to us through Scripture), women in ministry (I’m an egalitarian), and LGBT inclusion (all for it, baby!). So I’ve been looking into a local ELCA church, and I’ve been enjoying it so far. But still not quite sure if I should take the plunge yet.

  2. You’ve probably already answered this on some post of yours…but since i’m a little new…i think i’lll fly it anyway…

    What’s your take on “Birth control” or “Baby Control”?… My wife and I have 2 kidos…1 girl and 1 boy! Sooo amazing!….we are iffy about having a 3rd…and we get constantly asked when our 3rd one is coming….Wait? when did we get from “If” to “When”…we really don’t know…right now we say no…(of course i get that if God says yes…she will get pregers no matter what..duh)…


    Public School or Christian Privite School?…

    I lean towards Public school….tell you why when I get my answers missy! LOL…

    1. Arny, surprisingly, I have never written about birth control. I’ve never even though to actually. Personally, I’m not opposed to all birth control, only certain types of birth control. IUD’s, for example, I have chosen not to use because I was told by my doctor that they can make a “hostile environment for a fertilized egg.” I’m not in support of those types of birth controls for my own family. To be honest, I haven’t ever specifically prayed about the issue of birth control. I’ve always felt it was a personal issue that each married couple should bring before the Lord. I never want to judge others choices or create a stumbling block for other believers either.

      That being said, i want to obey God in this area. We just had our third child and are fairly confident we are done having kids. However, before we make a *ahem* permanent decision, we will pray and make sure that is what God has for us and our family.

      As for schools: I’d take a public school over a Christian private school any day of the week. I find that the latter are generally negligent or weak at instilling Biblical ideals are instead filled with the kids whose parents are trying to outsource their parenting to teachers and administrators. I’m responsible for my child’s Biblical understanding and relating Jesus as real and alive to them, not their English teacher. Of course there are some great Christian schools and plenty of rotten public schools, but that’s my general feeling on the subject.

      What about you? Do you have a preference in schooling?

      1. Oh man…I’m pretty word for word on YOUR take on public school….if the public school is good and doing good things in the community and teaching my child well…I”M responsible for my child biblical understanding and the love of Jesus….

      2. I have heard over the years that birth control pills actually do the same (hostile environment for a fertilized egg)…I think the stats on the chances of an egg becoming fertilized while on the pill is low but still possible. Have you heard anything about this? What do you think?

        1. You know, I’m not sure. I know that birth control pills, as far as I understand it, generally prevent a fertilized egg in the first place, but I’m not sure what they do if an egg does happen to become fertilized….

          I don’t use birth control pills either, so I’m not an expert by any means…

    1. Matt, I like (and admittedly don’t like) the way you phrased your question. You’re right, I do put pressure on my time and energy by blogging. I’m not exactly sure why…

      For starters, I know that the Lord wanted me to start blogging. It was not even on my radar. I was pretty opposed to starting a blog since everyone has a blog.

      Secondly, blogging has turned out to be my daily source of adult interaction. I am at home raising a 5 yr old, 3 yr old, and 3 month old. Discussions on diapers and detergent can only take you so far. I relish my time writing to, responding, and engaging with other believers.

      And I think lastly, I have reluctantly begun to think of Modern Reject as a ministry. I say reluctantly because I don’t really want to feel responsible or obligated, but on some levels I am. So many times I have wanted to quit blogging and inevitably on those days, like clockwork, God will have someone email me some amazing encouragement, thanking me for my sacrifice, my time, my words. And then just like that, I’m spurred on to keep going.

      And as a super cool bonus, God has used my blog to open up opportunities for speaking, which is really my great passion. I’m overwhelmed and humbled to see what He is going to continue to do.

  3. 1. What’s your view on “spiritual powers” (speaking in tongues, faith healing, prophecy, etc)?
    2. How and when did you know you wanted to marry Jonathan (and vice versa if Jonathan’s available)?
    3. Favorite part of a chicken (breast, thigh, leg, wing, neck)?
    4. Do you consume secular media (movies, music, etc), what are your favorites?
    5. Imagine yourself as an animal, which animal are you?
    6. What’s your view on family (in-laws) and marriage, should there be boundaries or a complete open channel?
    7. Did you enjoy this list of epic questions?!

    1. 1. Spiritual gifts is how I would refer to them. They are real. They exist. Now. They are not relegated to the Old Testament or to a select and chosen few, but available to all. I know this because I have experienced them in my own life.
      2. I knew I wanted to marry Jonathan in about our second week of dating. I knew because I just knew. It’s so cliche, but it’s true. Everything was confirmed. My spirit was smiling. Although, there was a hiccup in the road to marriage–my ex boyfriend who essentially proposed to me during the same time. Things got a little confusing, but I trusted God and my initial feelings. I have a post in my que actually on this very topic, coming very soon.
      3. Mmmm, chicken. Okay, who eats the neck? Really? Um, gross. I’ll take a breast every time, baby.
      4. I do consume secular media and with fervor. My husband is a movie junkie and I have subsequently become one, as well. I love action movies–the bloodier the better. I love horror films although I’m convicted about watching some. I steer clear of realistic horror and opt for vampires, zombies, and the like. As for music, I’m all over the place. I have a deep love of hip-hop. Favorites are the Roots, Jurassic 5, etc. I also love everything from pop, to 70’s rock, to Mo-town. TV shows– LOST, Breaking Bad, Castle, and currently I’m watching Friday Night Lights on Netflix and loving it.
      5. I don’t imagine myself as an animal. I am an animal and I am a cheetah.
      6. In-laws huh? I say no boundaries. Let ’em sleep over. Go on vacation. Talk about each other’s sex lives….or is that weird? No seriously, I have amazing in-laws. I think of them as my parents. They treat me like their daughter, but boundaries are important. My husband has a perfectly appropriate and healthy relationship with his parents. They are involved in our lives but not in every detail. They offer us counsel and support…when we ask.
      7. I have to say, this was an epic list of questions. I’m impressed…and also exhausted.

      1. 1. I believe they are real, but I’ve seen them abused by many pastors as a way to gain more money. Especially pastors who provide prophecy and healing, then tell their members they must sow a seed (seeds to them always = money) into ministry. I agree with you that they are available to all, it saddens me when I see pastors use prophecy to rob others of their free will through manipulation.
        2. I married Ariel because, well I don’t know why, but it felt right. I’m not really someone to make decisions based on feelings. I prefer logic and analysis, but I guess it was like how you just knew. I trusted and knew we would be great together.
        3. Necks are gross! My dad loves the neck, so I decided to throw that in there. Wing and breast for me though.
        4. I don’t even register the word secular how much I consume. +1 to Jonathan on being a movie junkie! I’ve successfully converted Ariel into a movie junkie as well! Ariel always warns me about realistic horrors, but I’m fascinated with angels and demons, so they don’t really move me much, but I do be careful what I expose her too. So many movies I love… wow a few: District 9, The Dark Knight, Oceans Trilogy. Music I tend to like random songs, I surprise myself everyday. Reoccurring genres are Hip-Hop, Pop, Techno and Rock, Ariel has a waaaay wider love and appreciation than me. But that’s cause she’s a dancer/musician so she has and unfair advantage! TV Shows – freaking Spartacus! Then there’s the other ok stuff like House, Big Bang Theory, Community, but nothing is ready for Spartacus.
        5. Lol I loved your answer. I’ma hawk
        6. We’ve had to place boundaries on our in-laws. Ariel’s from a very abusive home, her own mom pretty much can’t be trusted, even to this day. Her step-dad made a pass at her before sexually so their relationship is non-existent. My mum was great, up until I realized she was extremely attached to me as her first born. She started doing a few subtle things that placed wedges in our relationship so I keep my distance. I’ve seen several moms around here destroy relationships because they can’t let go of their sons, I value my marriage too much to even give reason for my wife to have to wonder about that.
        7.This list wasn’t that exhausting, but then again I can talk forever.

    1. Chase, good question. No, I don’t have a set or scheduled time that I wrote. I have a kind of general time frame. I try to do most of my writing in the evenings when my kids are in bed and after I have spent time with my husband, in the afternoon when one or two of my kids are napping, and on the weekends.

      I wish I was more organized and structured, but it really goes against my nature. I’m trying to be more disciplined though. Thanks for asking and commenting!

      1. Same here. No kids but life is busy enough as it is. I keep trying to set up a kind of blogging schedule but haven’t yet. Even though I’m a planner at heart, trying to set aside some time each day for it is just eluding me at the moment.

        Thanks for answering!

  4. Do you find yourself thinking much about the life to come after this one? What do you make of verses such as, “store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys…”?

    I find myself homesick for a place I’ve never been and I wonder how many others are like me in that regard.

    1. Steve, when I read that verse and others like it, I’m reminded and convicted about how little eternal perspective I really have.

      I envy your desire to leave this earth and be “home.” When I think of heaven I have moments of heart palpitations because my mind goes immediately to those who don’t know the Lord, including my family.

      I think it is good for some of us to long for heaven and others of us to long for more time here on earth. It speaks to
      our uniqueness in Christ, our heart motivations, and even our gifting.

      I wonder if you are a prophet too. Prophets long to be with the Lord…away from the unholiness of this earth, and surrounded by His glory.

      I wonder if you are a

  5. 1. Tell us about your family (as in your parents and siblings) and how they contributed to the awesome woman you are today!
    2. How do you come up with effective blog content?
    3. Can you please take a look at a couple of the most recent posts on my site and tell me what you think? (honestly) I would appreciate that so much!

    You say you aren’t organised but you’re definitely doing something right! You’re an inspiration, give yourself more credit!

    1. 1. Micaela, well I don’t have siblings. I’m an only child. I have a half-brother who is 13 years younger who I don’t see very often. My parents divorced when I was 2 and both of them remarried, which as you can imagine played a huge role in who I became. I was very opposed to marriage growing up. I thought it was a crock. but then I became a believer. I almost immediately changed my mind and decided marriage was a good thing. But overall my parents were (and are) supportive, loving, and very practical.

      2. Blog content really comes from just living life. I often write about things I’ve been reading, stewing over, or discussing with my friends and family. TV, radio, movies all inspire me too. And I think God just gives me ideas.

      3. I checked out your blog and I think your content is great. I like your writing style–very conversational, inspiring, encouraging. If you are trying to grow your blog, what are you doing? Are you using social media regularly, commenting on other blogs consistently, writing and posting regularly? Also, I’d consider a new blog theme. You’re on WordPress which is good. Have you checked out Standard Theme? It is clean, simple, and SEO optimized. You can design over it too and make it more custom down the road.

      Thanks for the kind words too. We are always our worst critics, right? I’ve gotten more organized since starting this blog, but I have a ways to go…

  6. Take a deep breath and prepare for a long runon question……
    Is your quiet time really quiet or do you have some secret ninja moves you learned from the government to block out all the life happening around you to engage with God?

    1. My quiet time? What quiet time? There is no quiet, no solace, no reprise. I have a 5 yr old, 3 yr old, and 11 week old clinging to me at all times. Time with the Lord take place in the middle of the night when I am awake feeding babies, prayers spoken between feeding children and cleaning, while I’m in the shower, and reading the Word at night before exhaustion sets in. My prayer life since becoming a mom has grown so much because you can prayer while changing diapers, stirring pots, folding laundry, even bathing dirty munchkins.

  7. Hey Nicole, I love your blog design and attitude. Saw it on the Standard Theme showcase earlier this year. Much awesomeness here!

    My questions are
    1. What is your strategy for building your blog? Do you guest post or comment on other blogs?
    2. Do many people in your off-line world (“real life”) interact with your blog?
    3. Has blogging helped your role as a pastors wife? Caused any problems?
    Thanks !

    1. 1. Rob, I don’t really have a strategy for building my blog. Is that terrible? I mean, before I started blogging, I read up on how to grow a blog. I do a lot of what you mentioned. I comment on other blogs, but I make sure it’s blogs I really enjoy. I don’t want to comment just to comment. I also guest post. I didn’t guest post for maybe a year though after I started. I also use social media as best I can. I’m not the greatest at it, but I try. More than anything though I try to write consistently good content. I used to post 5 days a week, which is madness. Now I post about 3-4 posts a week. And building a community is key. I love my readers. I try to respond to as many comments as I can. I pray for readers. I consider many of them friends. I hope they feel the same way.

      2. I have a good amount of friends and family members that read my blog. If you’re asking if I have made real-life friends with once on-line friends, some..a few. I’m hoping to make more in the future.

      3. Well, my husband isn’t a pastor in the sense that most people are used to. He has the gift of shepherding, yes, but we have a house church. In this house church we don’t have one solo “leader” or a “head pastor.” Christ is our head. So, no, my blogging hasn’t really affected that at all. My husband is crazy supportive of my blogging. He has encouraged me so much in this endeavor.

      Thanks Rob for the questions. What about you and your blog? It looks like you are pretty active and have a strategy for your own blog.

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