What it’s Like to be Married to my Husband

A while back, my husband Jonathan, wrote a guest post called “What’s it Like to be Married to Me?” in which he described exactly what being married to me, Nicole, is really like.

Back then I had every intention of surprising Jonathan with a post of my own, telling the world what it’s like being married to him, as well. But, I got busy and I forgot. I dropped the ball and he never received the follow-up post he deserves.

This Saturday, however, happens to be our 6 year anniversary. Hooray! And I thought now would be a great time to tell him (and you, of course) what every day of married life with him feels like.

Grab some tissues. This might get mushy. Being married to my husband is like…

…being on a perpetual vacation. I mean it. The first word that came into my mind when I thought about my married life was “vacation.”

Now, I’m sure that not everyone would share my sentiment, but my own marriage is a relaxing, enjoyable, fun-filled adventure. The reason is solely because of Jonathan.

He does everything in his power, daily, to make me feel loved, encouraged, supported, and appreciated. Did you notice I said “daily?” Yes, we get busy and my husband is as busy, if not more, than any other man, but he never forgets to tell me (and show me) how much I am loved.

Married life with him is, as I mentioned, an adventure. I married an outgoing (to put it mildly), hilarious, energetic, entrepreneur. Being married to an entrepreneur is enough of an adventure, but then you add in the rest, and well…life is never boring.

On vacation, you also enjoy the sites and relax a little. My life is also filled with me watching Jonathan be a great dad to our 3 children. He is hands-on, totally involved, which allows me to rest when I am tired from baby-wrangling. We are a partnership, in the truest sense of the word.

Jonathan also happens to be my biggest fan. If it were not for his support and encouragement, Modern Reject as we know it, would have closed its doors a long time ago. When I often feel like quitting this blog, he spurs me on with shouts from the sidelines while waving a big “You’re #1” foam finger high in the air.

Being married to Jonathan is also a daily reminder of God’s love. As I’ve said before, I have trouble trusting God at times. I have trouble believing God always has my best intentions in mind. But then I look at Jonathan…and I am ever reminded that God does not only love me, He’s crazy about me. How could He not be, when He gave me a gift as perfect and wonderful as my husband?

So yeah, married life between Jonathan and I is like living in a never-ending vacation. Yes, marriage can be work sometimes, but marrying a Godly, selfless, super-cool man sure does help.

What are your thoughts on marriage? Do you think marriage is great, meh, or you don’t know yet. If you’re not married, what do you imagine it to be like?

21 thoughts on “What it’s Like to be Married to my Husband”

  1. Wow. I’m verklempt. You are a gift, Nicole. Thank you for blessing me this morning–and every morning. I love you madly!

  2. Does Jonathan give lessons? :-)

    Marriage was, for me the first time around, something that appeared to work, but didn’t. It is possible to be “good” roommates without being good spouses. In addition to taking care of the details of life, there has to be an emotional connection that transcends the minutia of the daily routine. Somehow that emotional connection got lost, and we never found it back. If you have that emotional connection, guard it jealously.

    1. Ed,
      You are wise. it is true that any marriage can easily slip into “roommate” mode. We have 3 small children and I’d be lying if I said we don’t sometimes suffer from the daily chores of child-rearing. It can be exhausting. I think though that we have a genuine friendship. We don’t just love each other. We really like each other too.

      I think another contributing factor is that sometimes two people are married who really love one another, but daily life together is tough. Perhaps they grind each other or have a hard time agreeing. They don’t naturally just get along. Jonathan and I just get along. I don’t know if that is the emotional connection you mentioned, but it works for us.

      Thanks for sharing Ed.

  3. Ed- “guard it jealously” is GREAT advice. It is so easy to let it slip away, isn’t it? We’ve found that we have to kick everything to the curb occasionally in order to maintain that bond. Sometimes all it takes is a few minutes to catch a glance, retell a story and laugh together and you find yourself as giddy as the day you were married! Sometimes, a fight is important to reconnect. If you don’t know how to do it the happy way, at least a fairly-fought heated battle keeps things real ;)

    1. Sara,
      Great advice from you too. Jon and I often check in with each other. He always asks me how he’s doing as a husband, to which I usually respond “Awesome.” But every once in a while, I say I need more time or attention, or just to snuggle up and watch a movie. And you’re right, it doesn’t take much to feel all lovey dovey again.

  4. Congrats on 6 years!!!

    Both this and the post about “Being Married to Nicole” are amazing! Though I probably relate more to Jonathan’s post (Husband’s unite!).

    Despite me and my wife being so totally different, it’s amazing we can come together and work towards the same goals. She’s a passionate, active, go-getting, aggressive, dancer, extraordinaire of a wife. How she puts up with me is a miracle in itself. I’m nonchalant, analytical, blunt and she has to deal with all my crazy thoughts that society would burn me at the stake for ever thinking.

    Reading about you and Jonathan really inspires and encourages me in my marriage. Me and my wife are constantly looking for older married couples to look up to. We’re young, so the more experience from amazing couples (like the Cottrell Power Team) we can get our hands on, the better, easier and down right more fun we plan to have in our marriage.

    Thanks!

    1. Chris,
      Thanks for the anniversary wishes. I love the description you gave of your wife. She sounds wonderful and you sound blessed. I’m glad to know Jonathan and I can be an inspiration, however small. We always look for marriages to admire or gain wisdom from, as well. I think it is wise and healthy to do so. Sounds like you and your bride are already not settling for an ordinary marriage! Love that!

  5. I’m divorced and though the reason for the divorce really was out of my control, the marriage could have been better to begin with…. But, I still have high hopes for the future. If God has someone for me out there (I hope) then I still believe marriage can be a good and Godly thing. Hard work of course, but good. I’m hoping I get the chance to experience that.

  6. How lucky you and Jonathan were to have found each other (and yes, I believe there was more than “luck” involved). Wishing you both a happy anniversary this weekend. It is so refreshing to read of a marriage and relationship like yours.

    Before I forget – can Jonathan be cloned for us single ladies? ;-)

    1. Thanks Lucie, for the kind words! It’s funny that you mention cloning him because girls always ask me if can teach some kind of class for younger men. I personally think he should write a book, but he just smiles and says “no…”

  7. After reading this I wanted to marry Jonathon. My wife was none to pleased. I jest, I jest. After seeing his “verklempt” reference and reading his glowing recommendation I am saddened that we have never met.

    I love to see a husband and wife that like and love each other.

  8. Yes, anyone who has a real relationship with Jonathan knows that life with him is an adventure! He is an amazing man, gifted by God in many ways, and he shares his blessings with all those who are willing to allow him to enter their world. And wherever he goes, he unashamedly brings his Lord Jesus Christ with him, challenging people in a marvelous way to live life to the fullest with the God of all creation. He fulfills the Scriptures which instruct a husband to live with his wife in an understanding way, and to love and lay down his life for his bride, as Christ sacrificed Himself for the Church He loves.

    Your life with Jonathan is so good because both of you keep making good decisions daily to follow Jesus as Lord, following His example of love and righteousness and devotion to the Father. The road ahead of you two is indeed exciting, and you will demonstrate to your children (and to everyone else who watches you) what it really means to be followers of Jesus.

    Happy 6th anniversary! You’re off to a great start. We are always so proud of both of you!!!

  9. Err this has been interesting for me to read today. I recently broke off an engagement because I didn’t think he was the right guy to do the rest of my life with (slash – I tried HARD to commit and just couldn’t). I had a freak out last night that maybe I’m effed up and scared of marriage. Which I am, but I do believe that one day I will love someone enough to do it anyway. But you have encouraged me that it doesn’t have to be hard work everyday, and with the right person, the easy days should outweigh the bad. I think I lost hope of that. Thank you for writing x

    1. Micaela,
      Without knowing all the details and specifics, let me just say that it takes real guts to call off a wedding that you are uncertain about. Far too many people feel backed into a corner or bullied and so they end of walking down the aisle anyway, with doubt as their only certainty.

      I think that more often than not, when you meet the “one” your fears about marriage will be laid to rest. The right man makes you feel comfortable, safe, secure. You are so right too, that marriage doesn’t have to be hard work everyday. If you put in the easy work, like serving one another, saying “please” and “thank you” and having open communication with a willingness to forgive–you can avoid the really hard work like bitterness, anger, resentment, etc.

      Keep your hope because it is real and it can happen. God knows exactly what and who you need.

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