What's it Like Being Married to Me?

This post idea is stolen…ahem, I mean, borrowed from Bianca Juarez. Besides telling you what I think it must be like being married to me, my husband is also going to give his opinion. That’s right, my husband is going to reveal what it is really like to be married to Nicole Cottrell. We wrote our portions separately, so neither of us knew what the other had to say…until now. I’ll start.

I imagine being married to me must be…

A bit challenging. I mean, I came to this marriage with lots of baggage. A whole trunk full, in fact. I can also be a bit impatient (or a lot impatient), depending on the day.

I’m moody, which I hate and God is pruning away, one painful branch at a time.

My husband says, though, that I am one of the most passionate people he knows. I think my passion can come across as aggressiveness or hostility, especially when I am talking about the Church or the Lord. I think that must be tiring at times.

I’m also an introvert posing as an extrovert, which I know is difficult sometimes for my outrageously outgoing, extroverted husband.

I am deeply loyal, though. I care so much about what my husband does and the things he loves. I hope he feels encouraged by that fact.

I’m prone to laziness, but fight that part of my nature, which again, must frustrate my organized, punctual, driven hubster.

I make him laugh, too…all the time. I am my funniest with him. He gets my humor and laughs alongside me. We laugh a lot together.

I suppose being married to me is a lot like a circus. It is a spectacle–a grand show. There are parts that make you “ahhh,” parts that make you “oooh,” parts that have you holding your breath, and parts you could live without. Yet, you tolerate the parts you could do without because you just love watching the show.

But that’s just what I think. Here’s what Jonathan says…

Nicole’s telling me not to be too “gushy,” because apparently, that’s what it’s like to be married to me–I’m gushy. She’s also commanding that I be honest. So I will be. Here it goes: being married to Nicole is easy.

I’m not saying that marriage is always easy, or that I only love being married to her because of that fact, but that’s the best word to describe the normative experience of our 5+ years–easy. I want to be around her. Like, always. She’s fun. Our personalities don’t clash–they just mesh. They work. They blend. And I’m thankful for it. Every. Day.

Also, being married to Nicole is kind of like walking around a concert with backstage passes. It’s like I walk around with that dangling little badge around my neck, saying, “Yeah, I’ll spend some time with you concert-going folks, you fans, but I get to spend time with the rock star herself. Yep, Nicole Cottrell. Nic. Nikita. And oh yeah, we’re an item. You heard me. A serious, 100% item. No lie.”

It may sound like I’m being a bit silly here, but I’m not. In fact, we just want to a dinner reception tonight and I love introducing her to people. It’s like bragging without having to saying a single thing.

Last but not least, I should probably get serious for a moment. Being married to Nicole is a complete blessing. God paired me not only with a woman that is easy being married to, and awesome being married to, but someone who is my partner in ministry. Yes, she and I are different–our personalities are pretty opposite, actually–but we are heading the same direction, in love with Jesus, and we spur one another on. What she’s doing here on Modern Reject simply blows me away. And I’m doing my own things, too.

But God paired us up for some big things, and I’m excited to live that stuff out with her. I’m thrilled she’s the mother of my children. And I’m crazy happy that we have the rest of our lives to hang out and get to know each other. Because, you see, I admire my wife. And that is something you can’t just fake. God gave me an amazing woman to love and lead and serve. You know her as Modern Reject. I know her as Nicole. My wife. My love. (P.S. Was that too gushy?)

So what’s it’s like being married to you? Or if you’re not married, what do you think being married to you would be like? What would you like your spouse to say?

27 thoughts on “What's it Like Being Married to Me?”

  1. You guys are making it difficult to continue to convince myself that the only way for me to be happy is to be single. A happily married couple? WHAT?!?! This just blew a hole in A LOT of my theories. So if you could try to be more miserable and disfunctional I would appreciate it, … ;^)

    1. Okay, I admit, we are a rarity. We have an easy, fun, pretty much awesome marriage.

      God hooked us up. I’m not gonna lie though, while my husband doesn’t agree, I think luck had a little bit to do with it.

      You don’t really know what marriage will be like until it happens. We happen to just get along.

      I’m glad I’m challenging your theories because I am pro-singleness (as you well know) but I am also pro-marriage!

        1. My husband told me again that I shouldn’t cite luck as a factor in our marriage. I’ll say this though, I chose wisely. Sometimes people choose a spouse poorly, even though the person may love God. I chose a man who I just get along with day by day, year after year. That is not luck, but it more like making a good choice.

          1. Nicole,
            I love the joy and picture of Christ that your marriage obviously displays. It is nice to hear about a married couple that actually supports and respects each other and is still having fun together. So often I hear complaints about how hard marriage is and see one spouse annoyed by the actions of the other. Which makes me wonder why I would ever want to get married. But then I hear about couples like you and Jonathan. It sounds like you both still appreciate the things that made you fall in love with each other in the first place. Thanks for sharing.
            I would be interested however(if you don’t mind sharing sometime) in more details about how to make that good choice. Not that there are step by step instructions but what are your thoughts on some important things to consider before you get married.

  2. I die.

    This is precious.

    And though I would want my husband to say the same things about me, I doubt he could! I vote you to be Mrs. America.

    (We both know they need some more color up on those stages! :) Kidding.)

    1. I know, it’s a little ( okay, it’s a lot) nauseating.

      I bet you’d be surprised though by what your husband would say. We, as wives, are always harder on ourselves.

      I’d vote for you if you were running for the crown by the way. They could use a dynamo with some color.

  3. Great post. I think women tend to be so hard on themselves….so critical. (Aren’t we raised to be that way?) You have married your biggest fan…well, 2nd biggest. The One who made you is THE biggest, and Jonathan wouldn’t argue that. But I also know Jonathan speaks the Truth, so he’s not a crazed fan who would say anything to keep you happy; but someone who’s crazy in love with his wife to the point he will make sure he speaks Truth over your life.

    As one who has enough baggage to keep LAX busy for a week, I love seeing how God has meshed the two of you. He’s given you a man who will love you and encourage you as God works through that painful baggage. What a blessing.

    Thanks for sharing!

    1. We are so hard on ourselves. I really believe being married to me ain’t easy at times, but Jon disagrees.

      It’s so humbling when others can focus on the best in you and not the worst.

      God is so much like that…wanting to remove our ugliness and sin, not because He is wanting to condemn us, but because He has so much more for us.

  4. Okay…..so I feel like this post is so timely because I was just talking about both you and Jon yesterday. My grandmother and I got into a discussion about parenting-solid, Christian, child-rearing and well, you two were the FIRST and actually the only people on my list. I wish you would have talked more about your parenting because as an onlooker, I see that as such a gift and a strength in you guys. Even if I am on the phone with you, it is rock solid. It is inspiring. Jeramy and I mention you guys often when we talk about raising our children in the Lord. Not only that, but you truly set an example by not letting your children get between the sacredness of your marriage. I know the post was just meant to be a “what it’s like being married to me” but I know that all of the things Jon mentioned about you wouldn’t be true if he came home everyday to a chaotic household and to a wife that didn’t make her husband the primary benefactor of her love and attention-rather just gave him what energy/attention was left over at the end of the day. You ARE amazing Nicole…..I don’t live with you and I definitely wish I saw you more, but I see SO many things about you that just make me want to strive to be a better wife and mother. My love to you…

    1. Okay, for sure, you just got me all steamy-eyed and I just put my mascara on for the day. What’s up with that?

      I’m blown away by your comment…thank you. I doubt my abilities as a mom ALL the time. I think, “God are you sure you know what you are doing?”

      I will agree with you though, that Jon and I do protect our marriage as our #1 priority. I am a follower of Jesus, then a wife, then a mom, in that order. I think it has made all the difference in our marriage.

      I just want to say too, that in your and Jeramy’s extreme parenting circumstances, I have been blown away by the ways in which you have prioritized and protected your marriage. Truly. I have bragged to people about your dedication. I am inspired by it and don’t know if I would have been able to do the same.

      I love you Tracee and can’t wait to celebrate what God has done this weekend with you.

  5. Oh Nicole, this is adorable. As a (seemingly forever) singleton, I dream of marriage. Under God, it’s probably my top priority in life to love and be loved in a way that will glorify God. Your loving marriage is such a good example. I want to ‘mesh’ with my husband in such a harmonious way and for him to take pleasure in showing me off as the woman he loves.

    I also totally get you; moody, passion, mistakenly aggressive, lazy, an introvert in disguise… I think you’re amazing! I’ve only just found your blog in the last couple of days and I’m glad. Your writing is inspired and has really helped me as a Christian and a singleton; it’s also helping me develop patience for the latter.

    Keep writing Nicole and I’ll keep reading. God bless you and your family, G x

    1. Grace,
      I will say that my marriage has been the underlying reminder to me of God’s love for me. I know how much He loves me because of the man He gave me.

      Cheesy? Yes. True? Yes!

      Thank you Grace for the kind words, as well. I hope to get to know you more and hope we can encourage one another.

      Blessings to you!

  6. This is such a great post. I think you are both perfect for each other!

    Being married to me? Uh, well, prepare to laugh for sure. I’ll make you laugh for the life of the marriage. Also prepare to go on adventures. I am often spontaneous (though less now that I have kids).

    Also prepare to have children who are just as goofy and funny as I am.

  7. Nicole and Jonathan,

    Dang. I love that you both are such big fans of one another. And I love that you challenge each other, and love each other with intent. That you obviously spend time casting a vision for each others’ lives and what God has for them. It’s interesting because I’ve been fairly against getting married for most of my life, but in the past year, God has been using different things to show me that marriage can be such an amazing experience, one that might be in my future. Thank you for loving each other so apparently through this post, because it inspires me.

    1. Josh,
      I’m glad to know that God has been revealing more of the ways in which marriage can be a blessing. I was opposed to marriage most of my life. Then I met Jesus and slowly, slowly, my view began to change.

      I don’t think everyone needs to be married or should be married, but I do know what a tremendous blessing it has been in my life.

  8. What an adorable post, Nicole! Love it!

    I often wonder aloud why my husband loves me and I think I’m a sub-par wife. He thinks I’m nuts and covers me in his praises. I have actually discovered some wonderful things about myself in the light of his love.

    I didn’t think your hubby was too gushy, but I have a pretty gushy hubs myself so, its seems normal to me. This Sunday, is actually our first anniversary and I was trying to think up a post to commemorate it, I might just have to steal this idea. ;)

    Thanks for making me smile with this great post!

    PS I love that you and your husband are such great Christian role models for other parents and couples- what a great way to share Christ, with the testimony of your life.

    1. I love this phrase..”he…covers me in his praises.” Gosh that is so good. My husband does the same.

      I’d love to read your anniversary post. Do it! I stole the original idea and modified it.

      Thank you for the kind words too. I really do pray my husband and I can be an example of a Godly Christian marriage and parents…by His power and grace.

  9. I rule my House with an iron fist and my family fears me, as well they should.

    Jokes, people, jokes!

    Being married to me is me being married to her.

    Yes. It is that simple.

    We are walking covenantally together. My God is her God, her God is my God, I will never leave her nor forsake her, and we will walk together for the days of our lives. Period. Covenant.

    Nicole, I enjoyed the interview at BetaChristian. Moe is a unique fella. His ministry is communication.

    Your blog makes me smile, when so many “christian blogs” make me wanna throw my laptop out the window. Thanks for that. And thanks for not endangering my laptop.

    1. What an awesome and beautiful description of your marriage. It is so clearly laid out in scripture exactly how it is suppose to look…

      Moe is cool. We were two of each other’s first blog followers. It was a fun interview.

      I’m so glad to know too that Modern Reject is helping to preserve your laptop. I do what I can. Thanks for the encouragement!

  10. Luck?? LUCK???? Baby, luck had nothing to do with it. God is so good at doing what He does, people don’t even see His sleight of hand at work.

    Decades of prayer were heard by God and He said, “just watch this!” Jonathan’s parents prayed for you from the time that he was a baby. And we prayed for him to become the man of God with whom you fell in love. Your perfect mesh is no accident. God gets the glory for this match made in heaven.

    And we are so proud of both of you. You are first seeking His kingdom and His righteousness. Your priorities are right. Your marriage is just what it appears to be, and illustrates so well the love and respect of Jesus and His church. You are working hard to raise godly children who also will be good spouses and parents someday.

    We can’t help but gush.

  11. I asked my finance’ this question and he got very offended by it and would not answer it. When I insisted he still said he wouldn’t answer and said it was a stupid question. He said if I wanted to know I should ask his x wife. Help!

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