So, you may know that I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I find them to be a big fat waste of time–like watching 15 straight hours of Top Chef over the holiday season, which I did not do, by the way (or did I?).
Resolutions are just our way of saying, “Here’s where I sucked last year, so let me make a list so I can suck again this year.” No thank you. I’m set.
Sure, I make goals, but only because my uber-driven, easily organized, and eternally enthusiastic husband makes me. He forces me to get all reflective (which I hate), and introspective (which I hate even more) about the past year. It kills me…in a good way, but still.
One thing I do practice every single January, however, is choosing one word for the year. Now, it seems that the whole “choose one word,” thing has become annoyingly popular, *ahem* I mean, trendy, which like any good reject makes me want to stop doing it altogether. But, I’m holding fast to knowing that I started choosing a word for the year, years ago, so I count myself a trend setter–not a follower.
(Now, that I’ve got that out of the way). Follow me? he he…
Yes. You should follow me in this whole choose one word idea because, well, it’s really cool (and kinda not-so-cool, but I’ll get to that part). Here’s why…
Because I don’t actually pick the word. God does.
That’s right. I mean, I picked a word once and I made a bad, bad choice. Never again. I learned my lesson and now I just pray. I ask God what word He has for me. And without fail, before I can even finish my prayer, a word jumps into my mind. And there it sits, while I try to systematically ignore and/or pretend like that wasn’t the word I just heard…
‘Cause you know, it’s not a “great” word. It’s not a sexy word. It’s not a comfortable or easy word. It’s not even an easily defined word, at least not in terms of the Spirit.
So, I bet you’re wondering what my word for the year is, huh? What seemingly simple, but not-so-simple-in-the-economy-of-God-word did I hear?
It sounds pretty benign I admit. On face value it certainly doesn’t rival some of my past words like, humility or surrender.
But, if you know me and if you knew what has been going on as of late, you would know that the word “receive” makes my skin crawl. It makes me uncomfortable just to think of it.
Because I know what the Lord wants (I mean, as much as I can know). He wants me to be open, to trust, to close my eyes and lift up my heart, to be, to listen, to believe, to gather, to gain, to be full.
And I’m resistant, and unsure, nervous, and afraid, doubting, and weak, questioning, and yet secretly hopeful that all He has to give me, I really am able to receive…
Because I want it. I want it so badly I can taste it. And if all goes well, this year, I will.
Do you make resolutions? Why or why not? Have you done the “pick a word, one word,” thing before? What was last years? What is this year’s word?