I don’t really like getting personal. When I started Modern Reject, I didn’t have a clear plan or vision, I just started writing. As I started writing, the direction and voice came (and is still coming since I basically feel like a novice on most days).
In the first few months of writing, as my husband would proof-read my posts, he would always suggest that I add something about myself. I was always resistant. He would remind me though that without injecting myself into my writing, I was sharing or encouraging or edifying…I was just preaching.
Every post I write, I still have to remind myself to well, add myself. I don’t know exactly why that is, but I think I’m figuring it out. At any rate, I know that I desire for Modern Reject to be more personal, not to feed my ego or because I think you guys want to read it, but because I feel that is where God is moving me. So I thought I’d give it a try. Here’s me, getting personal…
I’ve been crabby lately. I blame it entirely on pregnancy hormones and my children. My 4 year old and 2 year old are just about to kill me.
There have been quite a few days in the last 4 weeks when neither they nor myself have bothered to get out of our pajamas. We just roam around the house in the clothes we slept in, looking disheveled and grungy.
I have been spiritually and physically exhausted lately too. The spiritual part is my own fault. I have not wanted to spend time with the Lord. Instead, I have been choosing to veg on the couch, nap, and then force myself to rally and take care of my kids and my home…at a bare minimum. Hence the physically exhausted part. Something’s gotta give.
Laundry is piling up…and piling up…and swallowing my house.
We had our first “we are starting a church” meeting. It went great, I think. However, the onslaught of spiritual attack has already started. Let the games begin.
I’m a little worried about this pregnancy and this baby. I don’t feel well and I hate that. I’m worried I will begin to feel worse. I’m also worried that three children will send me over the edge. I am not Mother Theresa, nor am I Mother Duck. I have to work at being maternal. Jesus knows this though and He is giving me this (last!) baby.
My constant in all of this (besides the Lord) is my husband. I married the best man ever. As he says of me (and I feel the same way about him): “I feel like I won the lottery.”
I have some big things coming up in a few months that make me nauseous to think about, so I try not to think about them. Don’t worry, I’m not holding back, I’m just waiting for the right time to share all the details.
I really want to take a break from Modern Reject right now, but I don’t think I will. I’m going to pray and see what He says though. A mini-vacay may be just what I need.
I have been obsessively watching Gray’s Anatomy. I had never seen an episode until a few weeks ago. I’m addicted and not in a good way. Again, I blame pregnancy. I think I need to have an intervention.
Whew. I feel so much better. I guess all of this was more of a rant than just me “getting personal.” Oh well, thanks for bearing with me, but you don’t get off the hook that easy…
What’s going on with you these days? How are you doing spiritually, emotionally, physically? What do you need prayer for? Go on, get personal. It feels really good.