I’ve sat so many times, staring at my computer screen, feeling like “What’s the point? Who cares anyway? I have nothing to say.” Modern Reject, for all that it is and how much I love it, needs to change. I’ve known it. I’ve resisted it.

But, it’s time. What I write here has to change, because I have been changing. So rapidly. So furiously. I cannot keep up with what the Holy Spirit is doing. I am barely nipping at His heels as He beckons me “Come…”

“Unfiltered.” That was the word my husband heard in bed last night. You should write about this, Nicole. All of it. Unfiltered.

This? I asked. Are you sure? Because, this…this is a lot. Too much. I couldn’t possibly. But I knew he was right. I knew God wanted this written.

Before I begin, I will tell you that I am afraid–afraid of man–fearful that some of you might judge me, call me crazy, disregard my experiences, and move me from the “cool Christian” column to the “weirdo, charismatic, whack-job Christian” one.

But it’s time because nothing else matters right now. What Jesus is doing in my life is what He wants me to write about. It will be different. It will be shocking to some and unbelievable to others.

Yet it’s all Truth.


I went to bed a few nights ago with the familiar pain I have come to know so well climbing and making its way back. I had recieved three days of relief following a series of trigger point injections, but now, as I lay down to sleep the pain threatens to keep me awake. I drift off to sleep however, and am awoken at 1:30 a.m. by my daughter who has a stuffy nose.

In a zombie like state, I tuck her back into bed only to have my husband abruptly get up from bed rambling something about an intense dream he just had that he needed to write down immediately.

Dreams from the Lord are common in our home and in our church. Since knowing Jesus at age 16, He has often spoken to me through prophetic dreams. I think nothing of Jonathan’s dissappearance from our bedroom and I fall back asleep.

Minutes later, I sense him climb back into bed. I am in this moment, half asleep, half not. With my eyes closed I see and hear an arrow whizzing by my head, it arches above me and then strikes me. And with it, a black shadow falls upon my chest. A demon. I am instantly struck with fierce pain and ringing in my ears.

I immediatly awake and say “Jonathan, a demon is on me.”

“I know,” he responds quickly. “My dream was about Satan.”

Then my husband sets about praying for me. As he prays for this evil spirit to leave, I feel as though someone is pressing upon my throat, trying to choke me, trying to silence me. Then it is gone.

There is something, some presence to my left however. I can see the shadows moving in darkness of my room. There are three more, Jonathan tells me. He prays and then we begin to sing:

Holy, Holy, Holy

Lord God Almighty

Early in the morning, our song shall rise to thee

Gone. They vanish. Sent away by the power and authority of Jesus Christ. Jonathan begins to tell me his dream. In it, Satan deceives him, falsely acuses him of murder, and leaves him to rot.

But, as in the case in our earthly experience, the church body comes alongside of him–of us–and bears the burden with us, bringing freedom.

As Jonathan recounts his dream to me, I realize that I too had a dream. I too was accused in my dream. I too saw the face of Satan, distorted and warped. And as this reality strikes me, knowing that Satan was there, in my dream attempting to harm me, I felt the Holy Spirit fall upon me in the gentlest and yet most profound way.

And I began to weep–overwhelmed by the presence of the Lord, feeling in that moment the grief of the Lord that His chosen one would be so attacked, so accused. I felt God weep in my own spirit.

Jonathan comforted me and we began to pray more. By now some time has passed and we still feel like there is more to do. God is not done.

And as it often happens between us, when the Lord desires to bring us closer to one another but also to offer us spiritual covering, He tells us to have sex. It happens like this–a brief touch under the sheets as we pray send shock waves. What would normally be a nothing, suddenly feels like something. I think “Hmmm, I feel like we should have sex,” and before I can finish the thought Jonathan  chimes in.

And then we know what God is up to, inviting us to worship Him and love one another in one intimate wonderful act. And so we do, happily.

Following that, you would think we would have just drifted off to sleep…and we tried. But, as we did Jonathan saw a picture from the Lord regarding our children. He saw inventory rooms, stock rooms like those at a retailer, filled with stock. Each of our children, according to their age and spiritual maturity had varying amounts of “spiritual stock” in the rooms.

We felt compelled now to pray for them, our children. We prayed over each and as Jonathan prayed aloud for Tolan, our middle child, he began to weep.

Tolan is sensitive, emotional, often discontent, and delayed a bit in his speech. We have worried from time to time about his development and how he will be as a man. But as Jonathan prayed for him, the Lord said “Where Tolan is weak in his speech, he will be mighty for Me.”

Tears streamed down both of our faces. Overwhelmed by the loving kindness of the Lord, of His battle on our behalf, of Him and all that He is.

The very next day, Jonathan recounted the word the Lord had spoken about Tolan to a friend of ours. Immediately this friend began to prophesy to Jonathan that our family bloodline would know the Lord–that His eyes would be upon them always. More tears.

And this story is my story…

It is all real and filled with the power and testimony of Jesus Christ. And this story is my life in an ongoing way. This is my reality. I am living a life surrounded by and filled up with a supernatural, mighty, speaking, and active God.

And this God is your God too. He is all of these things to not only me, but to you, as well. He longs to speak to you in new and life-giving ways. That is my prayer for you and my continued prayer for myself–that in making Jesus the Head, and allowing the Holy Spirit to lead, the voice and will of God will be made known.

Where freedom lives also and hope springs anew. Where the “ordinary Christian life” is impossible. Where darkness cannot live and the Lord God reigns. Where we see Him face-to-face.

I’d love to read your reaction, whatever it may be. Thoughts? Any of them. Share with me please.

83 thoughts on “Unfiltered.”

  1. this gives me a strange sense of hope, as the Lord has spoken to me through prophetic dreams since i was young as well, and sometimes as a single girl i wonder if my husband will think i’m crazy/be involved in some way too…but it’s really beautiful to me to see the display of how everything was in sync and in tune. thanks for sharing this, i can imagine the fear in what people may respond with. <3

  2. Nicole, I love this. Thank you so much for sharing. It is so beautiful, so scary and so our God!

  3. Amen, we need more “unfiltered” people, writing, reading, sharing, listening, praying….Thanks for being willing.

  4. Wow! It gave me goosebumps! Thank you for sharing this Nicole! Unfiltered and all. It encourages me that there truly is more. Way more. :c)

  5. Thank you for sharing. I love your honesty. People, and Christians, need to know that yes, there is a devil out there who does “seek whom he may devour,” but that we have victory in Christ. Thank you for your obedience to share this.

  6. Wow, like Carrington said, this is such a beautiful glimpse of what the Lord is doing in your life. I love your honesty, and I’m glad you didn’t worry about what other people would think of this post. Praising God for the comfort He sent you through the Holy Spirit and for the plan He has for you, Jonathan and for your children! What a blessing!!

  7. Beautiful! Exciting! Spiritual! It is not coincidence that I found and started following your blog THIS MORNING! I know satan fights what he does not like so I pray Gods protective arm will be around you and your family. May God bless your willingness
    To share.

  8. I, too, have the dreams. And I, too, have had experiences like these that I feel ashamed to talk about. I left a very conservative, Calvinist, church about 6 years ago and began attending a Pentecostal (AG) church. Whoa that was hard. I was in that old church for about 7 years, and well trained against Pentecostalism. I think maybe this year I put the shame and judgment I sensed from my old church friends behind me. It took a long time. The old friends wouldn’t subscribe to the possibility that experiences like you and I have are real. (and I fully admit there are people out there that are kooks, saying crazy things that I don’t think are really from God) Good for you, for writing this. It must have been scary as hell. But sometimes I feel like we are never closer to the Lord when we are (figuratively) going through hell. Love you, girl.

  9. Heck, you can be charismatic without being a whack-job! :-) This gal doesn’t think you’re crazy, but found herself thinking…

    – Of Moses when you talked about Tolan.
    – Of what a wonderful husband you have.
    – Of how you continue to be amazing.

    And hoping that you will soon or have already find relief from your physical pain.

  10. Nicole. Wow.
    Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being brave.
    Lately, the Holy Spirit has been breaking out of the box I’ve put Him in which has been wild and exciting. Your story, for me, is more encouragement to grow and become strengthened in His power. Not like I want to have experiences like this, but I know that you wouldn’t be attacked like this if you weren’t so close to God’s heart, you know? I want to be close to His heart, too. I want to be a warrior, too. I want to be able to sense the Spirit and His will, too.

  11. It’s so wonderful to know that other people have prophetic dreams. I have been having them on and off for about six years. I receive Bible verses that I do not know off hand. Verses that speak to exactly what is happening in my family’s life. Your story brought me to tears. Blessings to you.

  12. Beautiful, raw, challenging. Somewhere along the way on our faith journeys, we put God in a box… Perhaps because we are comfortable with that. He does not live in a box. He is God. The One and only God, of all creation. Thank you for sharing and I know you will be boldly blessed. He is faithful.

  13. Wow thanks for sharing. The name of Jesus is so powerful. I was in awe as I read you’re testimony. I will keep you and your family in prayer. Amazing!

  14. With God nothing is ordinary. May He bless you for your transparency and your obedient sharing.

  15. I think often times we get so involved in the religion that we forget that we fight not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places – but our GOD is strong and mighty in battle and will fight for us. This was a great read. Thanks for being bold enough to share. We all fear being judged my man but if we seek to please man we cannot please GOD. This definitely shows spiritual maturity and relationship. GOD bless you and your family.

  16. Nicole, I love your message. As you know our family has some pretty dramatic spiritual warfare encounters. It changes everything about the way we see, engage, are aware, recognize, and encounter, the much larger world around us, and that we soon find our spiritual gifts in ourselves, and the army of believers around us, each an arrow in God’s quiver, each person’s gift complimenting, embracing and exponentially strengthening one another’s gifts and our ability to triumph over dark forces in Jesus’ name. Thanks for your bold public encouragement for that battle. There are so many that have no idea the battle is fought. God has blessed you and will continue His blessing in full measure. What excitement and adventures to anticipate!

  17. I have never believed that the spiritual gifts Paul listed in his letters were restricted to biblical times. I don’t have many of the supernatural ones like prophetic dreams such as you describe. I have more practical ones, in keeping with the calling of my husband (he’s a youth pastor) and our family. (Hospitality, in particular, is key.) I don’t see the supernatural realm, although I know I’ve felt its effects. Your experience confounds me and reminds me that there is so much more to this world than what I can see with my earthly eyes. I’m sure it’s not always cool in the moment, but, wow…what an experience.

    That’s not to say that I have not had dreams sent by God. I am 100% sure I have. Mine are usually ones that make me say, “Hmm, haven’t thought of him/her/them in YEARS. Wonder why I dreamed about them,” and I wake up shaking my head at what my mind has conjured up during REM sleep. But the dreams are so vivid, so memorable, that I rarely discount them. I had one almost six years ago that I remember, even now, with startling clarity. It was so strong that I had to wonder if I was suddenly being given the gift of prophecy where I hadn’t had it before. I had dreamed of a childhood friend, the son of a good friend of my folks. We’ve known each other most of our lives, given that his mom handed down her maternity clothes to my mom after he was born, so she could wear them while carrying me. Our lives have drifted apart since college, but then, I kept in loose touch with his family simply because my parents and his remained close. I knew his wife had been very ill with breast cancer, and had fought a hard battle for several years, and had been losing the last I knew. I dreamed vividly that she had died or was about to die, and woke up so concerned for my friend, his wife, and their young sons that I went to the computer at six in the morning to see what I could find. When I found his wife’s obituary, I chuckled; if I’ve gotten the gift of prophecy, I’m off by about six months. It was June; she had died the previous December. But the dream was so strong…I did the only thing I could think of. I prayed. Hard. Frequently, over the course of the day. I can only surmise that he and his boys were having a difficult day, and God used the dream to bring him to mind, so that I would pray.

    That seems to be the purpose for my “I haven’t thought of her/him/them/whoever in years” dreams. They bring to mind people who ordinarily wouldn’t cross my daily thoughts. In one situation, a dream allowed me to say goodbye to a dear friend when I didn’t realize he was going out of the country and I probably wouldn’t see him again (that dream is still vivid as well).

    I kind of like that God chooses to use dreams to speak to me in that way, to force a memory to the forefront so that I can pray for someone. I’ll probably never know, this side of eternity, exactly why I was urged to pray on each of those situations. I look forward, though, to someday finding out why. I think that would be cool.

  18. This is absolutely beautiful… moving. The excitement and power of Jesus. When he reveals himself and becomes part of you is overwhelming in an amazing way. Unfiltered is perfect!

  19. beautiful, and the “ordinary christian” life is not what we are ‘in’ for, this is breathtaking, and also not surprising, we love and serve, move and have our being ‘in’ The Beautiful Outlaw, and He is beyond our wildest dreams in His ability to communicate His love.

  20. Nicole, when I was about 22, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt this presence, this weight on my chest and head. I felt the most horrific presence of doom and dread and depression take over me. I started crying and could not move my body at all. Didn’t see anything like you did, but it was definitely there. I started praying and asking God to get rid of whatever it was and it quickly left. My dad was a pastor, so I called him and he prayed with me and told me to throw out anything in my apt. that may be questionable spiritually. So I threw out a bunch of horror novels I had, etc. Thanks for being brave enough to post this, because it does happen.

  21. Nicole, thank you for your courage in sharing this. I wish that I had such communion with the Spirit that I could hear God speaking to me so clearly. (I have had one or two prophetic dreams and clear words from Him, but VERY few and far between.) I want it, but I’m also a little afraid of it, I think. How silly is that? I don’t think this is what God meant when he said we should “fear” Him. I think that, in the non-charismatic traditions, we tend to discount this kind of thing (because of those who ARE whack jobs), but we throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. We do serve a powerful, living, active, awesome God, and sometimes we forget that.

    I’m on a journey with Him, but sometimes I feel like I’m thrashing through the weeds on the side of the road, instead of holding His hand.

  22. It took great courage and obedience to write this and click “publish”, Nicole. Kudos to you for going there and revealing stuff that is so easy to cover up and pass over. The devil is a liar. Thank you Holy Spirit for your presence and protection!

  23. To know that God is allowing your prophetic voice to be heard makes me both thankful and awe-inspired. Thank you for obeying Him and being bold enough to speak.

  24. I can totally relate to was the Lord is doing in your life, I have experienced things such as this! It is awesome and to whom much is given much is required. I believe that God is giving us an awakening, lately I felt His presence in a more (in your face ) way. Telling me Amy you got to draw closer, live like the disciples, my sensitivity to the Holy Spirit has increased. So I think your writing about it is totally awesome and you should share what God is leading you to share! Thank you for this..it made me take a minute and thank Jesus and what he is doing in so many lives right now!

  25. Your words bring tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. You are an inspiration to me to be honest and real in sharing our stories (even the ones that others may think ‘crazy’) for no other reason than because God has told, asked, commanded us to. Thank you for trusting me, a stranger, with the depth of how God is moving in you and your family.

  26. Good on you Nicole. I can attest to the things you related – thanks for writing about them…

  27. I don’t think you are a whack job or a weirdo :) The sex part threw me off a little, but just because it’s not something people are so free to talk about usually. I have heard stories like this and at one point in my life I was too afraid to get closer to God because I didn’t want something like this to happen to me! I still don’t! But, I am farther in my walk now that I understand a little better (i guess lol)
    I think its amazing that you are open to the Holy Spirit And you have shared it here in the internet. I am excited to read about your experiences :)

  28. This portion of scripture came to mind as I read your post, “What you say goes God, and stays, as permanent as the heavens. Your truth never goes out of fashion; it’s as up-to-date as the earth when the sun comes up. Your Word and TRUTH are dependable as ever; that’s what you ordered—you set the earth going. If your revelation hadn’t delighted me so, I WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP WHEN THE HARD TIMES CAME, but I’ll never forget the advice you gave me; you saved my life with those wise words. Save me! I’m all yours. I look high and low for your words of wisdom. The WICKED LIE IN AMBUSH TO DESTROY ME, BUT I’M ONLY CONCERNED WITH YOUR PLANS FOR ME. I see the LIMITS to everything human, but the horizons CAN’T contain your commands!” Psalm 119:89-96 (MSG) Ours is not a “flesh and blood” battle so no need to fear rejection our ill thoughts on this end. After all, you were only being obedient and His Word says, “obedience is better than sacrifice”. All glory to God!!

  29. Nicole. Keep writing the truth…we need it. Even if you write it while speaking in tongues…
    Amen! He is powerful!

  30. I’ve always been skeptical about this kind of thing as I was brought up in various traditional churches where this just wasn’t mentioned, except maybe occasionally in hushed tones. However since starting university I somehow managed to end up in a seriously charismatic church and have realised just how much of Jesus I’ve been missing out on. For instance recently a woman who I had never met before prayed for me and referred to all manner of things in my life that she had no way of knowing about. Not that long ago I would not have believed something like that could happen, it had to be personal for me to understand. I believe every word of your post and you are very brave to post it…thank you! I am so encouraged! May you and your family be blessed…

  31. Thank you for obeying God and writing all this down. It’s SO WONDERFUL when we take the lid off the box and let God be fully God in our lives. Years ago, I might have been uncomfortable with your words. Now? I’m just so grateful. Spiritual warfare is real in these times. I’m grateful for the blood of Christ. Thank you for trusting God and writing this – no matter what the consequences.

  32. Keep writing Nicole, your gift is too great to let some earthly rejection get you down. Praying for full healing from whatever has been ailing you. In His love, Jen

  33. Thank you so much for your bravery in sharing your story. I’ve experienced evil presences a few times before, and I’m really thankful for my fiancé praying over and with me.

  34. I’m totally a whack-job Christian. I believe in spiritual warfare. I know I’ve encountered evil spirits as well as angels. Keep keeping it real, girlfriend.

  35. So much of this life is a spiritual battle – and God has given you and your husband sensitive spirits to be able to see into that realm. Praise God. I have been woken up lately out of dead sleep just with fear – fear of death, of losing my husband. And I know it is a spiritual battle that is going on. You just inspired me to seek some prayer and fellowship with our brothers and sisters at our new church. Thank you.

    1. And both me and my sister were tormented by spirits and demons before we became Christians. I haven’t had any major struggles since then, but I totally believe in them.

  36. You are so brave, and yet, I am reminded of so many who are bravely proclaiming the power of the Holy Spirit, yet so few are doing it in this way, sharing their stories in blog form. It is time for more of us to do so. It scares me.
    At the risk of sounding off-topic, I’ve asked my mom to write a difficult post for my blog, and as I await it, our (Vineyard~Charismatic) church is currently under an attack by a group who would have us believe that they are holier than us, something like Westboro in their manner, and unrelenting. My mom is the pastor of our church’s pro-life ministry, and it is her ministry that they are directing their vitrol at, which breaks my heart.
    Yesterday morning as we drove into our parking lot, past the graphic pictures and hateful signs, with our two young children in the car, I cringed once again. And as I stood worshipping the Jesus who loves even those bullying protestors, I felt His presence reminding me of that love, and I prayed for them even as I worshipped Him.
    As we left, they stood there still, reminding us that we are not like them, that they hate us and hate what our church is doing to spread the gospel.
    We got home from church and I threw out my back. It was so horrible, and really, very sudden. Then today, I was resting as much as I could, but felt sicker and sicker to my stomach, and I realized: I am under attack.
    Satan doesn’t want my mom saving mothers and babies with diapers and formula, he definitely doesn’t want her sharing about it in a public way (though my blog doesn’t have tons of followers), and I am the one who wants her to share it, I asked her to write about it. He wants me to be miserable and self-focused, so that I forget, forget about all the women who my mom is helping, and that maybe, just maybe, when I share her story, it might do something powerful. (I have high hopes in an Almighty God.)
    And you’ve inspired me to stop resisting sharing my “weirdo, Charismatic, whack-job Christian” life, too. Thank you for this.

  37. Thank you for being brave and posting this, Nicole.
    Our God is a God of wonders, and I have experienced Him moving in ways that confound my senses and fill me with awe, like you. Sometimes I forget about all of this, though, and act like work and relationships and bills are all that matter. I forget that God is big. So big.
    Thank you for reminding me.

  38. First of all, good to see you blogging again. I don’t know why but I haven’t seen anything of yours pop up in my feed. I absolutely believe your experience is real and powerful, but I would like to add some encouragement and thoughts from my own experience:

    The first place God speaks to me is in His Word. If I have nothing else in life, I have the bible, and truly, I need nothing else because I could never be filled enough by what His scripture has to say. The Bible is God’s full communication with us, so when I say “God told me this,” it’s because it’s something that I read in His word.

    Do I discount the other things or your experience? No. I believe what happened with you is real, but from what I have witnessed (and for the last 25 months, God has made me a witness to many things), many spiritual encounters that happen outside of scripture should be questioned. Weigh them against scripture, pray over that scripture. The enemy is terrifying to be sure, but he can also be deceptive. Last September, I had a satanic attack in my dream. It was intense. I knew true fear in that moment, felt pure hatred poured on me, absolute malice, and yet also experienced the Holy Spirit’s rescue from that situation (after that adrenaline shock, I didn’t go back to bed). I had another dream that was probably more demonic 2 years prior: I was having a conversation in a dream with an atheist friend of mine who had recently passed away in real life. I knew he was dead and he said “Yeah, I’m on the other side. It’s not what they told you at all.” That was evil, but a different kind. False doctrine and pagan religions have been created out of these “false” encounters.

    Now, I will also qualify everything I have said with this: I do not have the spiritual gift of prophecy. God seems to have put me in more of a service and giving role, which is fine with me. I do however, also believe that God gave everyone the Holy Spirit, and just as we are all gifted in different ways, the spirit also works with us in different ways as well.

    In any case, your story is intense and completely believable because as I have been for all too long… I am a witness.

    1. Joseph,
      Thank you for your comment and sharing your thoughts here. WHile I understand the point you are making, I have to respectfully disagree.

      I personally do not believe that “the Bible is God’s full communication with us,” because if I did then I would expect God to only communicate to me through the Bible, which we all know is not the case. God communicates in a vast number of ways because we are all unique and also because He is infinite.

      How can an infinite God be fully communicated in one book? Even a book as powerful and life-changing as the Bible? I do not believe He can. More than that, scripture even says, that in terms of Jesus, there was so much more He did while on this earth that is not recorded. That right there leads me to believe that we have not “read” all that there is, thus we cannot know all that there is to know.

      Lastly, the Book of Revelation says “For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.” Rev 19:10. And the gift of prophesy is available to ALL believers. (1 Corinthians 14: 1-5)

      I certainly understand what you mean in saying that false doctrines can create false encounters. I think this is wisdom and I receive your caution, but that was not the case in this story. Thank you again for sharing your own experiences here and being willing to engage in the discussion. Blessings.

  39. Nicole stated:

    “And this story is my story…

    It is all real and filled with the power and testimony of Jesus Christ. And this story is my life in an ongoing way. This is my reality. I am living a life surrounded by and filled up with a supernatural, mighty, speaking, and active God.

    And this God is your God too. He is all of these things to not only me, but to you, as well. He longs to speak to you in new and life-giving ways. That is my prayer for you and my continued prayer for myself–that in making Jesus the Head, and allowing the Holy Spirit to lead, the voice and will of God will be made known.

    Where freedom lives also and hope springs anew. Where the “ordinary Christian life” is impossible. Where darkness cannot live and the Lord God reigns. Where we see Him face-to-face.” ~ Nicole

    This is beautiful, powerful, and yes mystical, and it is all straight from Jesus Christ. His desire, passion, and love is for each of us to ‘see’ His proper position in our lives…the Living Head of our everything, and for us to grant Him the freedom to truly reign supreme in our lives, homes, families, and gatherings. Through this we individually, and collectively provide Him the ‘ground’ so that He can be expressed ‘unfiltered’.

  40. I’ll be calling Jonathan today to talk about this. I have been asking our Father for insight and anything He would want to say about it. I’m expecting our Father to open up the floodgates of His wisdom once I am actually on the phone with your husband. :)

    Hey, for what it’s worth, it seems to be a common tactic of the enemy to sit upon the chests of believers and try to suffocate them. I believe it is their attempt to stifle the breath of God that resurrected our spirits upon Salvation. Just a theory, not a sermon.

  41. Many times I have been awoken in the middle of the night with something I was compelled to share with others. I believe your words are true. God speaks to us in our dreams and our waking times.

  42. Oh my dear friend,
    Keep being unfiltered!! Galatians 1: 10 ” For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Keep serving Christ by sharing the power of God released in your home. Grateful for you, and praying for you all today!!

  43. First of all, THANKYOU for sharing…all of it. Honestly, if it were me, I would have skimmed right past the sex part. lol. But I’m glad you did, there’s so much beauty in that and in the whole night…your husband’s intercession, praying for the kids, casting away demons, etc. all of it is such a vibrant expression of God’s tangible love & grace for us all & it’s an example to all of us how God can work & move through marriage & mutual submission & servanthood. I am so so so so encouraged by it. Also, I am someone often plagued by Satan’s attacks in the night & have confronted this type of evening several times…it’s been sad and heavy, yet I’ve also seen the goodness of the Lord deliver me fully. Your life preaches to that deliverance & so I just want to encourage you to keep up the unfiltered life. It’s truly meaningful. And beautiful. Also, I can be a crazy-matic too, so no, don’t think your a christian weirdy, at all…unless of course I am too. =)

  44. o_O
    Dude. As crazy-intense as it all is, I’ve read enough of your previous posts that your credibility is pretty solid with me (and the rest of your readership, I’m sure). This is awesome, and I can’t wait to read more!

  45. First time reading your blog and all I can say is, WHOA!!! Please continue to be unfiltered. I loved the intensity, the realism (is that a word). We really do battle the supernatural here on earth, but I believe only a chosen few have this experience because others would be incapable of handling such battles (that is why we all have specific gifts). Continue on your journey, I will continue to keep you and yours in prayer. I don’t feel alone in my spiritual experiences.

  46. This is a powerful testimony. A few years ago I’d have been one of the ones to shy away from this. The Lord has done a lot of work leading me to a place where this is not scary but a joyful affirmation. Thank you.

  47. AMEN! This is the kinda blog I love to read. You are not weird – you are living the full expression of Jesus’ love and kind enough to share with us. Thank you!!

  48. What a great post! I’ve been creeping around your site for the past few weeks, (which is totally awesome) and I had to join in and tell you how much WE needed this post. I am totally amazed by how God works through us! And sometimes we just don’t understand how important it is for US to live our lives “unfiltered,” in a genuine manner, and as honestly as possible. Your story is a reminder to us that God is always with us – just call out to him and he will provide you with that peace that surpasses all understanding! Please continue to write “unfiltered.”

    “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our fears, our presence automatically liberates each other.”
    ~Nelson Mandela

  49. I do not always agree with stuff you say, or how you say it on here Nicole. You can often be a bit of a button pusher, often for reasons that are opposite of what would normally be the button in any given conversation :). Despite this, I appreciated you sharing your story. I love to see Jesus at work in my brothers and sisters around the world. Keep pressing into Him, the both of you. Pray for me as well, that He’d be revealing Himself to me as well. I have had seasons in my life where I saw things, dreamed things, and experienced things very similar to those you described. You are not crazy. My encouragement in this season to you is this: Seasons such as this can often cause us to subtly (is there any other way?) stray from truth and you both need to be digging into the Bible and His Truth more and more. Do not abandon testing every thing you hear and feel. Never hold these experiences of high emotion as the pinnacle of your faith. That is a dangerous and often unrealized side effect the Enemy loves to pulls us into. Yet press into this season. Harness your emotion and lead your body and soul with your spirit behind His. Love you guys and praying for you right now. Pray for me also, that I may be hungering after righteousness and holiness, that I might be growing in the knowledge and wisdom of this mystery that has been revealed to us and that my heart would become increasingly soft and responsive to our Master and Redeemer. In so many ways I need to get myself back to the well that does not run dry. I’m finding that I am so dehydrated lately. Thanks for doing that.

  50. Wow. Just, wow. Nicole, thank you, for so many things about this post. One of those most poignant things being your frank reminder of the beauty, power, protection and worship through sex between a husband and wife. It’s become so spiritually attacked in our world, that we forget it’s a spiritual weapon against the attacker. :) God bless you and your family!!

  51. This is as real as everything else you post on here is real. It’s all in one person, It is beautiful and a blessing.
    I think there is something very special about you and your husband and what you are doing. No wonder Satan would try to attack.
    You are a part of what is to come, to shake up where the church is now. Of course the forces of evil want the church to be stuck in a rut, stuck in selfishness, stuck in a place where we have no truthful, holy, honest presence in the world. Stand fast in the faith, sister. My prayers are with you.

  52. THIS! THIS is what is missing in my Christian experience. I am drowned by the ordinary…the cliche…the shallow…the aimless, pointless wandering from one feel-good experience to another hoping – HOPING – to see Jesus move. I know there is more. I don’t know how to get it. Help me.

  53. So brave, love it! I love how The Lord wasn’t “letting up.” After the dreams there was prayer, then there was intimacy with hubby, then prayer for your children, especially Tolan! Awesome!


  54. Continue to be unfiltered! When God is moving in power it needs to be shared so He will be glorified! I love the ways of the Spirit of God, you never know what He’ll do next. Serving a supernatural God is so exciting, who wants to live a normal life after you see what He can/will do! Praise Him.

  55. This blew me away. Not very many charasmatic christians are open about their faith, what they believe, and the supernatural! God has been speaking to me in so many ways and this has encouraged me to start sharing what I hear from the Lord, wether I’m deemed weird or not. Showing my faith means showing all of it, not just the “non-offensive” parts! Why I didn’t see this post before this, I don’t know. What I do know is God has perfect timing!
    I’m so glad you’re family is covered by the Blood of the Lamb!

    God has given me the gift of prophesy, now I just need to step out of my comfort zone and use it more! Please, don’t stop being “unfiltered!”

  56. Wow, this is beautiful. Thank you for sharing what the Lord is doing! It has inspired my heart, brought courage to my spirit. Blessings to you + your family!

  57. My this sounds like me growing up, this is my life with the lord his power and strength, the power of prayer and his holy spirit. Many nowadays may not get that side as much. This though is what I feel it means to be active in God, to be present in not only your life but in the life if Jesus Christ and what he is about. Amen.

    I feel that you are living a life in being one with Christ, in the essence of who he is. I have gotten an example of what it is to live in sync with Christ. It may not be happening 24/7 but when it does there is no way to ignore it. Amen. I have had those same experiences black arrows, a shadow shown on my bed covers. I have to get to praying because I know I am not where I am with Christ.

    These demons know who we are, but they forget how strong we are with Jesus Christ dwelling in and all around us. They forgot who daddy really was. Amen.

    I am going on to read your about your physical healing, lets see what God has been doing.

  58. I’m so excited and empowered to read this! I have struggled so much lately with spiritual attacks! I am going to re-read this again and again. We are not alone! He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world.

  59. I think god for using you as a tool. I feel it. I feel his presence through you. You’re not crazy. Satan is a great deciever and people forget that he is the source of all evil. He has been attacking me in my faith these last four days. I’m going to church tomorrow and I’m going to get baptized. I think the devil knew this and that’s why he’s been attacking my faith and trying to make me believe that god, Christ isn’t real or dosent exist . I’ve just realized all this as I’m typing actually lol. Im gonna be unfiltered too lol im gay. I know that I was born gay but I know what the bible says. So its just gonna be harder for me than everyone else buy I can do it. I hope I can share my story with other gay ppl in the future. It’s hard but its not impossible. I think Satan makes you feel like you have no choice but you do. Of course I can’t stop thinking about the same sex but I can choose not to act upon it. When you think about it, to males can’t produce a baby and the same as a woman and woman. I just hope I’m not judged by my fellow church brothers and sisters because I mean you can tell I’m homosexual…another thing I just thought of is that its been proven that there isn’t a gay gene so what dose that tell you..its spiritual and its the devil. I feel so blessed that I realized this sooner than later. I just pray that god use me to make an impact on other lives like you are in some of ours. God bless you

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