I’m an introvert and like any good introvert I avoid people. Well, not avoid people, so much as don’t like people. I’m kidding. Sorta.
Basically, I need my space…and a lot of it.
And also like any good introvert, I especially dislike meeting new people. I get squirmy (on the inside) and sometimes feel like I’m going to barf (on the outside). I take time to really like people. I might love you right away because Jesus has this thing He does that makes that possible, but the liking part and the trusting part and the open and vulnerable part, that takes time.
Unless of course Jesus is doing something else, which He is known to do. . So when that something else happens, my introversion goes out the window. My heart bursts forth, my arms fling wide open, my spirit smiles because it knows…
…that this person is different. This one, this person, He is calling me towards.
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I saw her walk up to our table and as soon as my eyes fell upon her, I knew. I knew something, not all of it, but a piece of it. I knew that my heart was trying to escape from my chest so it could hold her, and hug her, and tell her it was all going to be okay.
Her face was beautiful and covered with shyness. Her eyes sparkled through a veil of pain. She was wanting. She was trying. That’s why she was standing there in front of me.
I asked her and her sister, the two of whom were obviously besties–attached at the hip–reminiscent of twins, but separated by 2 years–if they wanted to register. They said yes, but proceeded to ask me a few questions.
I explained to them what Prism would be like, look like. I explained how we were wanting to empower women in their gifting, to more beautifully reflect Christ. I explained how when I was 23, discovering my spiritual gift, was a catalyst for me and marked a significant change in the way I saw myself and my place in the Kingdom.
Her eyes welled-up with tears.”That sounds….ahhh-mazing…” she said slowly and quietly. I promied her it would be, all the while really hoping and praying that I hadn’t sold her a bill of goods. Would we deliver? Would Prism really be what I had hoped?
Would Jesus show up? Would the Spirit really move?
Or would I be called a liar?
Over the next week, I kept thinking of her, praying for her, wondering if maybe she wouldn’t show up.
The morning of, I was swept up in the day, moving busily from woman to woman, laying on hands. I spoke for an hour about spiritual gifts and our identities in Christ. I watched from the stage as women in the audience began weeping. I didn’t think I had said anything that moving, that powerful, and I hadn’t. Except that God did.
He was speaking to them through me and I was overwhelmed. My church sisters and I administered more prayer, more grace, more power, and more tissues.
Then they walked in, the shy beauty and her sister, and they sat in the very front. I almost jumped up and down with excitement. She was here and she needed to be, although I didn’t know exactly why. I greeted them, trying to hold in my geeked-out excitement. They filled out their assessments, ate lunch, and went through the rest of the day.
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I was wrapped up in worship, feeling such fulfillment and joy over what God had done this day. What answered promises, what vision cast, what kind and gracious surprises from God. He didn’t fail. He did what He said He would do. When I looked over and saw the same sweet girl, crying in her seat.
I asked the Lord if I should approach her and felt like I should, so I made my way over. I asked if I could pray for her. She shispered “yes,” through her soft tears.
As I laid my hand upon her, I felt a void–then I saw in my mind’s eye–a cavern, empty and dark. I kept praying for her and the Lord guided me. He revealed to me that she was hurting from so many broken friendships in her life. I paused from praying and asked her if this was true. Her face was full of confusion and bewilderment as she answered me…“Yes,” she said “It’s always been that way.”
“Well not anymore,” I told her, “God is changing that. God does not want you to have broken, hurtful, unhealthy friendships anymore. It changes today.” Then I prayed a prayer led by the Holy Spirit, for freedom and hope for her. I handed her a tissue when I was done praying, hugged her, and walked away.
At the end of the day, I saw her and her sister in the foyer. She looked at me and her eyes immediately welled-up with tears. I smiled at her and waited. She stuttered to get the words out…
“How…how did you know all of that? How did you do that?” she asked.
“I didn’t,” I said, “The Holy Spirit did.”
“I…I don’t understand,” she continued.
I hugged her and told her that God was capable of speaking to her and that if she wanted to know how to hear Him, she need only ask.
And I pray that she will. I pray that she will know in her bones, beyond all knowing, that Jesus is real and He cares for her. I pray she will know that this wasn’t some parlor trick, but rather an invitation from the Living God to invade her life and take up residence in her.
That is my prayer…among so many others from that day. Where God answered prayers in such specific ways, He has also led this introvert to pray differently–that I too, would be more invaded by Jesus. That I would let Him into my personal space, let Him breathe my air, let Him break my boundaries…
Wide. Open.
And I do and I will, welcome the invasion of Jesus.
I wish…..
I want…
Is it awful to wish that someone would pray for me like that? Is it horrible to be jealous of people who get to meet the Spirit in that way?
That is fantastic! So many of us walking around out there… just like this. Is there any chance of a Prism event in other parts of the country? Okay, Georgia? (never hurts to ask).
Very cool! One of the biggest attacks on people today is identity. We don’t know who we are. So we struggle to figure it out. Not thinking we are worthy for the love of God and not worthy for God to speak to us and through us.
If we really understood that we are His children and the He loves to speak with us, interact with us, we would be different.
Beautiful story that accurately displays the prophetic without jumping over into weird. Well done!
David,
Agreed. None of the ministry of The Holy Spirit need to be “weird” by human standards. But humans can’t seem to help themselves, and when He moves in them and through them for His will, that’s when things can quickly become “me” focused and not His Power focused. That’s when it gets weird, indeed. :)
Nicole,
You bless our Father. Did you know that? You make Him smile.
One thing I cued in on was this: “Would Jesus show up? Would the Spirit really move? Or would I be called a liar?”
We all know that He did, after reading your story here. Even now He is whispering to this young woman, soothing her pain, ministering to her as only He can, revealing Himself through small nudges and gentle winks. In His time, in His time. Not ours.
You wondered and feared if indeed He would show up, or would you be a liar. That is one of the first snares and seeds of doubt the enemy sows so easily into all of us. But let me speak openly and without hesitance: It is His Name, not ours. He will never, ever, let His Name fall into the hands of evil. When I pray in the Name of Jesus, for healing or for deliverance, I know for a fact He will show up, because He guards His Name and His Holiness like no other. It is not that we have His Name, it is that His Name has us.
I understand your moments of wonder and doubt. I do. But let us both, no, let us ALL cast those doubts down and trample them under our heels, realizing and walking in the truth that His Name means something, and He will not let it be used or employed or prayed without paying attention. That’s Who He is. He cannot separate Himself from it.
His Name is not a “parlor trick”, as you said. It is the Name above all names, and at which ALL shall bow and confess that He is Lord. Let the heavens shake and His enemies tremble. Let the hurting receive healing, the friendless receive companionship, the unloved receive love, and the orphans receive an identity as sons. His Name is Jesus Christ of Nazareth, the Lion from the Tribe of Judah, the Great I Am that I Am. His Name is YAWEH, and He is Sovereign, merciful, compassionate, and unrelenting.
Jonathan filled me in a bit on your Prism experience, and my spirit rejoices for you and with you, Nicole. Being able to read it here has only strengthened my spine and comforted my heart. Thank you for your faithfulness and your willingness to bravely speak His Name. He likes you, Nicole. He does.
Love love love!! It’s so exciting to hear stories like this of how intentionally and individually the Lord uses each of us and pursues each of us! Thanks for sharing!
beautiful, simply beautiful, your desire for your sister was that she could ‘see’ what you ‘see’, that Jesus is your first and last, your comfort, strength, your counsel, your love, your life your everything.I love how you were sensitive to the lead of The Holy Spirit, and how He worked things together for this beautiful meeting. blessings sis, blessings!
Jesus is beautiful in His Body. Thanks for sharing this.
Thank you for being obedient to the powerful move of the Holy Spirit, Nicole. I am so thankful we have a God who is not interested in us playing small, but wants to unleash his full power in and through us. That young lady is blessed to have experienced the presence of God in such a real and tangible way.
The idea of Jesus invading my life and plans is a scary and comforting one at the same time. However, you have encouraged me to surrender to that invasion, because it is ultimately good for me and for the world.
Wow….thank you for sharing this. I also am an introvert and it has always been hard for me to let people in, and I have been hurt deeply when I have let some in. What you said to her really ministered to me, I felt like it wasn’t just for her, but for me, too. Thanks again….
Love this! God is on the move and revival is here!
Absolutely beautiful! Thanks for sharing Nicole!
I am late to this party, but I was catching up today and I had to come say thank you.
Lately, you’ve been writing about a part of the church which is real and true and wonderful, but is also not often written about well (or at all). Putting things into words in a gracious and thoughtful way might start to bring about greater unity.
I hope so!
Thank you!
Neat to find your blog today. It is so awesome that the Holy Spirit can do in one moment what takes so long on our own. God wants to speak to us!
Arlene, thank you for putting it so simply and with such authority. Indeed, we tend to forget that yes, God our Father WANTS to speak to us! For real! And the comment as to how wonderful it is that The Holy Spirit can accomplish in us in a second that which would take us years. Brilliant.
Nicole. Sister. My online friend whom I will one day meet face-to-face.
I’m jones-ing for more of your insights and words our Father is giving you. It’s been a while.
Just sayin’.
20 August 2013.
When will you write again? When will you write again? When will you write again? When will you write again? When?
:)
Your posts keep making me cry! Stop it! lol