Happy Wednesday. Today is the day we discuss men and women. Oh joy! As such, I wanted to share this video from Dennis Prager with you, titled Men and the Power of the Visual. I’ve addressed this topic before in one way or another. I find this issue to be one that far too many women seem to be ignorant towards, for whatever reason.
As for the video, it’s five minutes, but it is also very entertaining and goes by quickly. Please respond to the questions below after watching the video:
Firstly, I have no idea who Dennis Prager is, but I like this guy.
Now then…the video itself. Nothing Dennis said was nuts. It all made sense and it really was spot-on in defining how men are visual in nature. Brilliant, actually.
As to porn, he said that porn is ‘powerful’ because of men’s visual drive. I agree. To say that men are to blame for porn is a stretch. I think of it more like some guy decided years ago to show naked chicks, and charge money for it, because as a man he knew his male friends would pay for it. Simple. Porn to me is one of the worst attacks the enemy has come up with against humanity, because in my opinion it is a rape of the mind and the spirit. But instead of beating the branches, we should attack the root. I curse porn shops when I see them, as Jesus cursed the fig tree, and I ask The Spirit to turn over tables and drive the men out.
Hot chicks are used in advertising because hot chicks sell better. However, check this: Men will turn their heads in a second to look at an ad with a hot chick because men like looking at hot chicks. Women, on the other hand, will look at an ad with a hot chick and either scorn it because she feels it’s exploitation (which she will do publicly), or harbor a hidden jealousy because she doesn’t herself look that hot (thanks to the repeated and relentless assault on womenhood that demands all women need to be a size 0 for them to be considered attractive. I call bullcrap on that well-placed lie.) So advertisers, in using hot chicks, are damaging both men and women, regardless of the product.
The tequila ad should make women angry because it is implying that if I buy that tequila, I might nab a hot chick with awesome legs, conveniently slightly spread for my imaginative pleasures. A woman worth her salt would wonder why I would need tequila and that hot chick when I have her already. Kinda the whole, “Ain’t I woman enough for you?” situation. Notice also in beer advertising that they portray it is only possible to get together with your friends, especially the single hot chicks, if you bring along some beer. *facepalm*
Men like women. We do. We like to look at them, touch them, hold them, smell them, have them lean against us, dance closely with them, do our own versions of ‘Magic Mike’ for them, have them do their versions of stripping for us, etc, because we like them.
It’s how God our Father has wired us. And I have yet to meet a wife who has a complaint about that, when it is healthy, Godly, and sexy as all get out. My bride gets me worked up visually, and I get her worked up emotionally. Again, just like our Father has designed it.
It may be in part to blame. I have found that the temptation to view pornography is inversely proportional to the amount and quality of sex that I am getting. Women who want their men to stay away from pornography would be wise to make sure that their man is getting sex at home, and not just sex, but sex where she is more than a limp body with a hole for him to get off in. Sorry to be crude, but I want to be clear that men like sex where the woman is completely lost in the moment. Too many women think because their man got off while they were thinking about the garden club tomorrow, they have somehow taken care of business, and this might keep him from wandering off to some other woman, but it doesn’t make him fantasize about you. In the same way that a woman wants a man to emotionally invest in her, and gets angry when he puts on a show of listening to her, but is somewhere else, so does a man want his woman to be involved in the act of sex and not just present. That is what the pornography fantasy provides. They show women hungrily having sex with the men. They aren’t wondering if they have all the ingredients to make dinner tomorrow night.
“In the same way that a woman wants a man to emotionally invest in her, and gets angry when he puts on a show of listening to her, but is somewhere else, so does a man want his woman to be involved in the act of sex and not just present. That is what the pornography fantasy provides. They show women hungrily having sex with the men.”
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Oh my. That was a brilliant observation.
However, in your opening sentences to your comments, you seemed to be hinting that your sex partner (you didn’t say ‘wife’) might not be quite doing her best for you sexually. I see that quite a bit in sexual relationships that are not covenant-based. Something to think about.
“Women who want their men to stay away from pornography would be wise to make sure that their man is getting sex at home, and not just sex, but sex where she is more than a limp body with a hole for him to get off in.”
so it is my job to maintain a sexually exciting atmosphere in my marriage, so that my husband doesn’t stray? i probably also need to stay in tip top shape, keep up with the latest fashion trends, and cook/clean to his heart’s desire so that he doesn’t find someone else too satisfy him, right? and if he does stray, or look at porn, or think about another woman…that’s MY fault, right?
a man’s (or woman’s) draw to pornography is always a manifestation of something else going on inside their mind/heart. their loneliness, their fear of rejection, their stress, their whatever. your comment absolutely made me sick to my stomach. shame on you for blaming a woman for a man’s desire to look at/masturbate to images of other women. if a man (sounds like you?) is truly unsatisfied with his sexual intimacy with his partner, THEY SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT. turning to porn where they believe they are seeing “women hungrily having sex with the men”is only going to exponentially increase the problem.
i would never blame my husband for my own personal struggles, and it would behoove you to never blame anyone else for yours.
“so it is my job to maintain a sexually exciting atmosphere in my marriage, so that my husband doesn’t stray?”
Yes. Just as it is his responsibility to meet your needs, be they sexual or emotional, so you do not stray. Your body belongs to your husband. Your husband’s body belongs to you. 5% of the marriage covenant is sex, but it can easily lead to 95% of the attacks on that covenant.
If your husband is no longer as sexually attracted to you due to you getting out of shape, (and vice versa, because let’s be honest: men can get out-of-shape as easily as women!!) then indeed, you need to talk openly about it and make sure it gets nipped in the bud so it does not give the enemy a foothold. Trust me, he is looking to drive a wedge between you and your covenant husband at every opportunity! It’s what he does best.
Covenant is not about feelings or even love in some instances. Covenant is covenant. While I indeed love my bride, and would kill for her, we are walking covenantally this side of Heaven, and she knows not to place me in a situation wherein she would have to play the ‘love card’ on me to get me to do something. I do what I do for her because I wish to be like Christ who has given up His life for His Bride. She understands this. If she felt prompted to use the ‘love card’ as a form of blackmail or extortion, we would have serious problems, and a serious talk about that. “If you loved me, you would do (fill in the blank)!” doesn’t work on me.
Anyhoos, I am quite sure Nicole has something to add. She’s pretty wise, that one.
It’s always made me angry that there’s been so much more interest in seeing the female body displayed in a sexually enticing way than male even by many women. That just leaves more people of one genders sexual desires less satisfied more often. That and many womens curves being largely fat makes it difficult for me to enjoy female beauty as much as I want and has caused me depression.
I have depression because of how much people enforce this idea that it’s more dependant on the hormones that make men the way we are than anything women have as much of. I don’t care to ever have a girlfriend or be married anymore because of them. How do they not think it very depressing that there’s been more sexual interest expressed for one gender compared to the other!? They have no problem with such a passionate desire not being mutual most of the time!? Are they crazy!?
Yes, I agree. and, Yes, my husband is aroused by looking at me and I’m not all that attractive anymore. He’s not aroused by the memory of what I looked like. He is aroused by looking at me whenever he gets a chance. It’s completely baffling to me. I don’t like to change in front of him when I’m late for work, because I’ll be later. and He’s retired. I totally don’t get this, but I know it is true. Do I agree that, the male visual nature, is in part to blame for the amount of pornography produced? Duh, Yeah! This is why female porn, if that’s what we call it, has no pictures. ie, 50 shades of grey, harlequin romance novelsm, and the like.
Lol sure he is
I like Prager, he is an intelligent and funny guy!
As Christians tho, what about single and non married men? Are we suppose to give in to pronography and promiscuity because we have solved the problem of why it happens to be so tempting? As Paul might say, Certainly not! We can understand the problem all we want to, but It does not diminish the moral duty that Christ has given all of his diciples, both male and female, to adhere to and strive towards. What does it matter if men are visual? Does that mean instead of curbing our lustful desires we should just accept them as part of our nature? Well, our nature is corrupt! So while knoweledge of why us males have this great struggle and burden to deal with in regards to the visual, lust, pornography, etc., I think it we need to go furthur and ask how are we to control it? How are we to carry our crosses and be Christians, despite the our corrupted nature and weak flesh? How are we to not get sucked into the fallacy that since men are visual and it is natural to objectivy women, it’s acceeptable and even morally permittable, lacking any consequence.
At the beginning of this video I almost screamed in frustration! I get soo fed up of the Christian twaddle about guys being visual and girls being emotional. Sure, ads don’t have mens’ legs in them, but they have their chests/arms! As a Christian I know I shouldn’t see ‘Magic Mike’, but I definitely will, as Channing Tatum is hot! However, by the end of the video I will concede that maybe women as less visual than men…from the video and the comments guys seem to be completely sex obsessed! If I get married I would obviously like my husband to be attracted to me, but if I got really really fat (due to illness for example) and he found me unattractive I would hope that he would support me in my exercise attempts and wouldn’t turn to porn/an affair to meet his ‘needs’.
“As a Christian I know I shouldn’t see ‘Magic Mike’, but I definitely will, as Channing Tatum is hot!”
Um….
Well I guess, this video explains why sex sells. We all know men are visual this is no surprise at all to women, we are MENT to have this effect on men. However there is something called SELF control, if you travel and/or go to university you see hot guys all the time. Yes you might look (come on girls you take a peek sometimes) but DO NOT entertain that look. I think it is different for men as they have a habit of objectifying a woman for their pleasure, of course not all men do some are very honourable and don’t just give in to nature.
What I really don’t understand is how men really don’t understand women at all!! We aren’t just objects that exist for your release or to reproduce!! We aren’t in the dark ages ! Women are not blind, we are not a visual as men but we do know exactly what we find attractive visually. If you understand the wiring of the female brain you would understand that its capacity for pleasure goes far deeper and is much more complex than a man’s. Therefore it takes an intelligent, unselfish man to be able to unlock / explore that. Silly men that don’t understand this will get frustrated and angry and will look to porn to get off at. Let me point out some biblical examples, ‘Adam knew his wife’ – Genesis 4.1 , Ruth 4.13 Genesis 26.8 ,all examples or loving men seeking to explore their wife sexuality and person-hood as well as their body. For those of you that have been blinded by this culture to think sex is just for men, women aren’t tantalised by the sight of a man or can’t initiate, here is some more examples that challenge that. Song of songs 2.9, SOS 3.4 ,SOS 2.10, SOS 5.10-15, SOS 7.11. Seems like an assertive; adventurous woman who is enjoying her role as a married woman. Notice she is respected and honoured not just used for pleasure. Yes it says it all in the bible !!
Ps- left to my own devices I would watch Channing Tatum as well but it would all be a little bit too stimulating
Laura,
Adam may have ‘known Eve’, and as you said, her ‘person-hood’, but at the most crucial of moments he abdicated his authority and allowed her to eat that forbidden fruit, (he was standing right there and did nothing), thus bringing sin into The Garden. Adam is surely no role model.
Dear Donald
Yes, you have a point Adam should have beefed up and said something or at least reasoned with her. Fair enough he isn’t a role model regards stepping up to the plate but this misses my point. I was commenting how men in general inc Christian men don’t seem to understand the sexual nature of a woman. I was highlighting that the bible describes sex between a married couple as something very deep and profound. More than what the world describes, which is usually hit it and leave (physical pleasure only), Christians have seem to take this attitude on board. Women need to wake up and reclaim their sexuality, lucky there are bundles of hints in the bible.
I don’t know if I agree with him. He may be right but how do I know, I’m not a man. All I know is how I felt when my ex-hubby would look at other ladies.
I do think that that has to be watched by a man and there are dedicated men who will not look at women given the choice. An evangelist said he once had to keep his head and eyes down the entire time at a church service because the women dressed too provocative.
I do know that men are visual creatures though.
He’s right; for many men, just a glimpse is all it takes; 2-3 seconds and we’re aroused. More than 5 seconds and you’re bordering on lust and sin. As men walk down the street you have to “see” but not “notice” women. See means you don’t wak into a tree or hit another car or run a red light; that is you do observe and pay attention to where you are going. “Notice” means lusting.