Lies and Myths Archives - Page 6 of 12

Vanity, Forfeiting, and a Little Thing Called “Baby Weight”

No one ever told me that marriage, and then motherhood, would systematically alter my self-esteem. My husband is amazing, beyond amazing actually. He does not deplete my self-esteem, only adds to it, but upon being married, I realized just how insecure I actually am. Suddenly, the idea of being spiritually tied to someone made me examine every square inch of myself.

Motherhood did something similar. I realized that so much of the junk I thought I was healed of, was actually only laying dormant, like a slumbering bear, ready to be awakened when toddlers colored on walls or when I was acting less than Jesus-like.

And don’t even get me started on the toll that baby weight has taken on my self-esteem. Those extra pounds make me feel more insecure than the pack of “mean girls” I used to avoid in junior high. As of right now, I have an 8 month old baby and yes, my baby weight is still holding on strong.

Then, the other day, I stumbled across an article that I felt confidently was written to encourage women just like me. The author wrote about the need to banish the term “baby weight.” I began reading with great interest and a sliver of hope that when the article was done, I would feel freed from the pressure to lose. But the exact opposite happened and I found myself cursing at my computer screen. Continue reading Vanity, Forfeiting, and a Little Thing Called “Baby Weight”

Should Adultery End a Marriage?

from the archives

In the last month or so, my husband and I have heard about two marriages we know ending. I don’t know all of the circumstances and I don’t want to, either. I do know, however, that one marriage suffered from an adulterous relationship. The thought of my husband having any kind of affair makes me sick to my stomach. Absolutely sick. For married people, the idea of your spouse committing adultery is a nightmare and something we avoid even thinking about.

A sexual affair violates the covenant of marriage. It is sharing your most personal and intimate self with another, who is not your spouse. It breaks trust, forces people to choose sides, causes great emotional and physical stress, can lead to depression, and in many cases, divorce.

But is adultery an automatic reason to divorce? Can a marriage can survive an affair and, more than that, should it? Continue reading Should Adultery End a Marriage?

My Greatest Fear

Okay, okay, I admit it. Christians aren’t suppose to be scared, right? We are supposed to walk around in our perfectly, not scared bodies, shielded by the super-powers of the Holy Spirit.

We are suppose to be like some kind of anti-fear force field–zapping things like phobias and anxieties with a wave of our hand.

But let’s be honest. Most of us aren’t fearless superheroes by any stretch of the imagination. I, for one, have plenty of fears and insecurities.

One fear in particular has always haunted me. It is my dark and looming cloud, my ever-present “what if”, my unavoidable reality.

My greatest fear in life… Continue reading My Greatest Fear

Are You an Amoral or a Moral Christian?

Today’s guest post is from the truth-speaking, always honest, Jesus-loving Ken Hagerman. Ken’s blog is called Rambling with the Barba and I highly recommend it. Hope you enjoy.

I’ve noticed something a little odd lately. I was reading a book and one of the characters was described as a good moral Christian. I was listening to an audio presentation and the guest was introduced as a salt-of-the-Earth type. “She’s a good Christian, moral person” they said. The pairing of the words moral and Christian is popping up a lot. Maybe I’m just naïve. I know I’m a big ole dumb southern male and all, but I thought that morality and Christianity kinda went together. Like, I follow Jesus and therefore I am moral.

Silly me.

When did we cross over into territory where we needed to qualify Christians as moral? Did it happen to coincide with the push for authenticity?

“No sirree, these aren’t your run of the mill Jesus Freaks– They’re moral, too.”

I’m not using this opportunity as a call for legalism. It’s a call for the saturation of the spirit of our name sake, Jesus. Continue reading Are You an Amoral or a Moral Christian?

What God Will Never Ask You…

It’s inevitable–we’re all going to die. There, I said it. And now that I’ve started off this post on a happy note…

Since we know we’re going to die, then it goes without saying, we will assuredly stand before God in that lovely little thing called Judgement.

Now, I’m not heaven-minded. I don’t tend to have what they call an “eternal perspective.” I’m pretty much a today-is-the-day-kind- of-girl. But I know that much of what consumes me, what consumes us ad nauseam, is not what the Lord is consumed with. He is consumed with love. Heck, He is an all consuming fire (Hebrew 12:29).

Yet, when we consider these things, and I mean really consider them, perhaps we would think of Judgement a bit differently. When we are standing before God and we are asked to give an account of our life, what will He ask us? I doubt He will pose many questions regarding the things we find so pressing today.

Now, I’m not entirely sure. I’m just taking a guess here, but I’m pretty sure…

God will not ask you… Continue reading What God Will Never Ask You…

Is Your Insecurity Causing You to Sin?

Today, I’m happy to have a guest post for you all from one of my favorite gentleman in the blogosphere, Darrell Vesterfelt. Darrell has appeared on Modern Reject before and I’m so excited to have him back. Enjoy.

I’m really insecure about my weight. I have been my whole life.

There are all kinds of reasons for that. I used to get teased in high school, to start — words so insulting I can’t even list them here. I don’t have the fastest metabolism, to make matters worse.

I have a difficult time staying at a “healthy” weight for my height.

The hardest part isn’t that I feel like I’m fat, although that’s difficult in and of itself. The hardest part is the way that people look at, and talk about, other people who are in my position. I’m not ignorant to it. I’ve thought the same things you think.

Fat people are lazy.
Fat people are stupid.
Fat people get in the way.

I’ve spent my whole life, and a lot of my energy, trying to prove that these things aren’t true about me.

You know what I’m talking about. You’ve done it too. The lies of insecurity run so deep that they have the ability to control our entire reality. If we aren’t careful, insecurity starts to dictate everything we think and do.

How does it do that? What is it that makes insecurity so powerful? Continue reading Is Your Insecurity Causing You to Sin?

Seeing Isn’t Believing

I feel like I’ve been waiting a lot lately and to be honest, I’m not even sure what I’m waiting for. It just seems that something, anything, besides what’s happening should be happening.

I keep waiting for God to do something miraculous and it’s not like I’m needing a miracle right now. It’s more so that I need less of the mundane, everyday. I need less of me and what I can produce and more of Him and what He is known for.

I want to see something. I guess what I want, if I’m being honest, is a show. I’m sitting here like some ticket holder, parked in my mezzanine seat, waiting for the Jesus Show to begin. I want to see Him do something. I want to believe in something right now.

Problem is, seeing isn’t believing. Continue reading Seeing Isn’t Believing

Scheduling Sex and Other Such Tales

People write me about one topic more than other: Sex. It seems that many of us aren’t having the kind of sex life we imagined we would once we were married. It seems that more of us are having a lot less sex than we ever expected.

I’ve had husbands write me confessing that they haven’t slept with their wives in a year, after having only been married for 3. I’ve had wives email me, explaining that they simply don’t feel sexual and have therefore just “let sex go.”

But where is the outcry? Where are the calls for healthier, better, and more realistic expectations for sex in marriage? I, for one, am grieved when I think of how many married couples aren’t, well, getting any.

Instead of people writing about and talking about sex in marriage from a practical standpoint, what we find more of is unhelpful banter on the subject. I recently read a post over at Stephanie Druy’s blog Stuff Christian Culture Likes (a blog I happen to thoroughly enjoy, by the way) that says scheduling sex, for instance, is a bad thing that far too many Evangelicals have latched onto in marriage.

I have to say…I couldn’t disagree more.

I’d argue that scheduling sex is one way of ensuring a great sex life. Intrigued? I bet you are. Read on, my friend, read on…

Continue reading Scheduling Sex and Other Such Tales

How Green Should the Church Be?

The other day, while driving around on a gorgeous Spring day here in Arizona, my kids were observing the sites out of their car windows. Spotting birds, mountains, beautiful houses, trees. My son then said, “It’s bad to cut down trees. We don’t cut down trees, huh mommy?”

My husband looked at me and whispered, “Lorax,” referring to the recent Dr. Seuss movie that our kids had seen with him.

I began to explain to them that we certainly had to cut down some trees. We needed trees. We use paper products from trees every single day. But I also explained that it is our responsibility to plant more trees and find other ways of replacing trees (you know, what people refer to as “sustainable resources”).

But after this brief little discussion with my kids, I got to thinking about the church and being green. Sure, I’ve pondered this subject before. I’ve clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth as Christians talk about going green, being green, and staying green.

But how green is the church suppose to be? Continue reading How Green Should the Church Be?

The Power of God

So many of us worship a different God. Oh, it’s still the God of Jacob. The God of Abraham. Yahweh.

Jesus Christ.

But, as my days in salvation go on, I have seen and met so many hopeless Christians. So many people, who are complacent in their faith. Lukewarm. Vacillating.

I have seen so many people who perhaps intellectually know God. They even love God, but they have never once experienced the power of God.

My hearts breaks when I consider this. I feel pangs in my chest when I grasp the fact that so many of my brethren have never, not once, felt His presence, been swept up in His Spirit, had a supernatural experience with the Living God.

Instead they have very different experiences… Continue reading The Power of God