Happy Wednesday and happy He Said/She Said day. In the past, i have written quite a bit about sex. I guess I’ve got sex on the brain, what can I say. I’ve covered topics like male sexuality and the controversial issue of having sex even when you don’t feel like it.
Today, I thought I’d devote a post to sex yet again. This time I’m sharing ways to improve your sex life. I am, of course, working under the assumption that the two people doing the horizontal mambo are married…’cause that’s how I roll.
Here are 15 ways to improve your sex life:
1. Do it more often– You know the saying “practice makes perfect” yeah well, that applies to sex too. The more sex you have with your spouse, the more likely you are to improve on the good parts. I think I can see the men smiling over this one already…
2. Be patient- When my husband and I were engaged we took a marriage prep class. A sex-expert (a sexpert..he he) explained to the class one week, how he and his wife didn’t hit their sexual stride until about 10 years into their marriage. Now, someone could read this and become a little discouraged. I say, however, this is encouraging news and goes to show that sex can and does just get better with age…so have fun enjoying it now and in the future.
3. Be creative- Now one couples idea of creative will certainly be different than another couples. Creative for some might be leaving the lights on, while for others could include whipped cream. Yes, I said it…whipped cream. Are you blushing? I am. Find the creative things that both of you are comfortably willing to try in bed. Which leads me to #4…
4. Kinky is allowed- Just because you are married and a Christian doesn’t mean that your sex life is required to be boring and vanilla. Most everything (with the exception of a few things) are permitted in the Christian husband/wife bedroom. Hooray. That should be exciting news. This doesn’t mean you need to participate in everything. It just means that there is freedom to do so without fear or judgment (well, I might judge you a little, but hey…)
5. Show and tell- Show each other what you like and tell each other why you like it. Fun and done.
6. Say “yes“- The more you say “yes” to sex, the more you will be having sex, thus improving your sex life.
7. Quality over quantity- However, even in having more sex, quality is still more important. Do what you need to do to make sure you are enjoying personal, intimate, loving time with your spouse, not just checking off an item on a check list.
8. Foreplay is your friend- Realize that foreplay for a woman is vastly different than foreplay for a man. Women operate much more in outside-of-the-bedroom-foreplay meaning their husband doing the dishes, or tidying up, giving the kids a bath, or offering them a massage. A woman needs to feel ready (i.e. appreciated and sexy) before walking into the bedroom. Men, on the other hand, do just fine with physical touch-foreplay. Go figure.
9. Relax- This probably applies more so to ladies, but perhaps some men too. Sometimes the stress of the day or week can prevent you from relaxing enough to even get in the mood. Ask for a massage. Take a hot bath. Pray for peace and relaxation.
10. Set the mood- Sound a little cliche? Yeah, well, it is, but it also works. Light some candles, turn on some sexy music, slip into some lingerie (the women not the men). Mood makes a difference.
11. Send your kids away- If you need to, have your kids babysat while you enjoy a romantic interlude. Nothing says lovin’ like a toddler-free home.
12.-Pray- Yes, pray for your sex life. Crazy concept huh? But God really does care, so ask Him.
13. Receive counsel– If you have any sexual hang-ups maybe counseling is a natural next step. Our sexual past can affect our current marriage and there is no reason to let it.
14. Set a goal- With your spouse decide to have good, quality sex 2 times or 3 times a week. Promise each other a reward, like diner and a movie, for accomplishing your goal.
15. Schedule it- I’ve written about this before and no, it ain’t sexy but it helps. Set a day and time each week to have a romantic interlude. We mark our calendars for everything else, why not prioritize sex, as well?
Alright, now that I’ve got you thinking about sex…what would you add to the list? What tips or tricks have improved your own sex life within marriage? Disagree or agree with anything on the list?
Haha!! Loved it…one thing I would have to add is spontaneity! Some may frown but there is nothing like being in a deep sleep and being awakened to your husband with his hands all over you….that’s all I will say I am totally blushing!
Latoya,
That is a great one. My husband is all about spontaneity…me, not so much.
I try to make sex more spontaneous for him.
Such a good one to add to the list…even if it makes you blush. he he.
Can I just say – for all the people who like a little bit of “riskiness,” get off of birth control.
Yeah, that sounded silly, but I do mean it. If you are married, getting off of birth control can do wonders for you ladies, from what I’m told.
Matt,
A buddy of mine once told me, (and I still laugh when I remember this):
“Dude, let me tell ya…wearing a condom is like ordering a steak dinner and then injecting your tongue with novacaine.”
Just sayin’.
Wait… why can’t men wear lingerie? ;)
Good list… I’m sending it to my wife!
I won’t go into details of my military career, but allow me to say we were some hard-hittin’ bastiches who dealt severely with enemies of America, and we literally oozed testosterone.
One day, however, out in the field, one of my guys was stripping down to take a “whore’s bath” and we all noticed he was wearing black silk panties.
After some awkwardly silent moments, we of course inquired as to what in the world was he doing wearing his wife’s underwear.
He replied, as straight-faced as ever, “I wear them because they are so danged silky soft and they make me feel special.”
When the realization that his reason made sense to us had hit us all, we grunted in approval and never brought it up again.
True story.
lol…. The Women wearing the lingerie cracked me up…. Picturing my mans man husband in “sexy” attire.
Also love the middle of the night one!
Amen to praying about sex! We actually thank God for it after we’re done—which seems a little weird, but the whole thing was his idea, so it’s not like he’s blushing. lol And while men don’t have lingerie, they can still wear boxer-briefs or whatever their wives think are sexy. Instead of the ratty old tighty whities they wore to work, you know?
Rachel,
I love that! Thanking God. My hubster and I heard at a conference to thank each other, which is kind of already did. We just say “thank you” for sex afterward. To some it might sound silly, but we don’t ever want to take our healthy sex-life for granted.
And I’d like to propose a worldwide ban on tighty whities. Let’s light up a 100 story bonfire. Whatday say?
Honestly, I agree with everything on your list. If you’re doing those things you should be in pretty good shape.
My tip (for the boys):
Plant that seed of a very near future love-making session with your bride.
Example:
At about 1 or 2 in the afternoon, brush up against your bride and gently whisper, “Tonight I’m gonna light your body up like Christmas…” and slowly brush your fingertips across her stomach ever so lightly as you pass her by. If done properly she will get goosebumps and slightly shiver.
By the time evening arrives, she has been dwelling on what you said ALL DAY. Her mind will have been imagining the promise of your words.
Men are immediately aroused, no problem. I have found that my bride is like a slow-cooker; I like to let her stew in it for several hours.
Yeah…Prince ain’t got nothin’ on me when it comes to talking sexy.
“Mental Foreplay” works wonders, boys. Trust me on this.
Totally giggling! Prince ain’t got nothing on you!
I will concur that my hubby uses a similar strategy (but it usually involves an ear nibble) and it, um, er works pretty good. But I think I’m less of a slow cooker than most women so sometimes this means I attack him soon after the idea of Christmas in bed is planted in my head…but he probably knows that and does it on purpose…hmmmmmm…I’m going to stop now before I embarrass myself further…
Donald, I am so trying this. :-)
D,
You will thank me later. Actually, if done correctly, (and I assume you know how since you have three kids!), Jenn will thank me later, too.
I do accept checks, by the way. Or free comics. I’m easy.
Go get her, tiger!
I know I’m late to respond, but let me just say….
Well played sir. Well played.
Amen! :)
thanks for the ideas….!!!
the only thing i would add…considering all the action to come
#16: get a new mattress !!
have a great day everyone.
Be Blessed :)
Hi there! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which blog platform are you
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All ideas are good but in some countries there is no way to inform about sexuial life.
:) Thankx
i have sex with my wife but she says your pennis dont happy my boor pussy i fuck him but she dont reply like ah ahah o yes o yes omy god omy god so i go to the market and by to big brinjals and ;pumpkin then i push this criteria in her pussy then i see the pumpkin is out from his buttackand so many bleeding