15 Tips to a Happy Marriage

Yesterday I wrote about being single and today I am writing about marriage. What can I say, I like to spread the love around evenly.

Earlier this week, Carlos Whitaker wrote a post on the top 11 things he and his wife do to make their marriage a happy, healthy one. I loved the post and thought I would pay homage to Los Whit by writing my own list.

I have to say, and I’m not bragging…okay, maybe I’m bragging just a teeny tiny bit…but, my husband and I have a rockin’ marriage. We enjoy marriage and we enjoy each other. We have a few tricks up our sleeve, too. Here are our 15 tips to a great marriage:

1. Kiss each other hello and kiss each other goodbye. Every time. Slip in some tongue now and again, too.

2. Praise each other in public. Often.

3. Set some rules for arguing. We, for example, don’t yell (although I have been known to break this one from time to time), we pray beforehand, we make sure we are touching one another (it’s really difficult to be mad when you are holding hands), and we pray when we are done.

4. Have a date night. If you could only incorporate one thing, this is it. It doesn’t have to be every week, but prioritizing time alone (without kids, if you have them) is like a magic marriage elixir. Abracadabra!

5. Do it. Yes, I mean “it,” at least 2 to 3 times a week.

6. Speaking of “it,” be sure to grab some booty or other body part for that matter daily. It’s called flirting or, heck, foreplay. Oh, and bonus points for coppin’ a feel in front of the kids. They hate it, but they love it.

7. If you have kids, give them away, at least for a night. I mean it: leave them. Yes, even that little baby. Don’t wait until they are 16 to have a night away or a vacation together. Your kids will thank you and so will your satisfied spouse.

8. Get it out–your crap, that is. If something is bothering you, don’t let it fester. Bring it up, hash it out, and move on.

9. Find something you really like to do together and, no, doing “it” doesn’t count. Maybe it’s football, or traveling, or spelunking. My hubster and I love to ice skate together…um, no, we don’t ice skate. Can you imagine? We love movies. We love eating out. Those are our things. Find a thing, youself.

10. Be each others’ biggest fans. Support the others’ dreams. Cheer one another on. Wear a short pleated skirt and rock pom-poms if it helps.

11. Schedule sex. No, it’s not sexy, but if your life is too busy and sex falls to the wayside at times, then putting a little “doing it” notation on your calendar is necessary. Never get too busy (or too tired) to say “yes.”

12. Pray for each other. A lot.

13. If you messed up or sinned, admit it, and say you are sorry. Asking forgiveness goes a long way in marriage.

14. Say, “I love you” everyday, more than once a day, even when you don’t feel “loving.”

15. Serve one another, everyday, even when you don’t feel like serving.

Okay, what would you add to the list? If you are married, what works for you? If you know happily married couples, what works for them?

14 thoughts on “15 Tips to a Happy Marriage”

  1. I’m not even married and I really enjoyed this!! This really does give me a great idea of how to be in a great marriage. it’s also encouraging to see some of the same things that I’m doing already, on a dating level, on this list.

    …and I don’t mean any of the sex ones… just realized that. haha.

  2. Great list! I would add never use harsh words/name calling when you have disagreements or fights. And NEVER, EVER, EVER USE THE “D-word” when things get tense. Don’t even let the very idea of Divorce enter your mind or a dispute. It must remain totally off limits.

    Another strong post Nicole!

    1. Such a great addition Drue! Agreed on no name calling or harsh words. Even arguing needs to be respectful.

      No “D-word” is crucial. We follow this rule, as well. It simply cannot be a part of your vocabulary whether joking or threatening.

      I don’t ever want my kids to hear the word uttered. It is not an option!

      Thanks for adding those to the list!

  3. Nice Nicole. I need to schedule sex. Seriously. Lame. But yes – seriously. :) PS. I’m the biggest yeller. BIGGEST.


    1. Ha ha! Yup, unfortunately sometimes sex needs to be scheduled. C’est la vie.

      I hear you on the yelling. I grew up in a house where yelling was talking, especially when fighting. It’s a hard one to break. I just always think, “Man, I would never want Jon to yell at me like that. Why does he deserve it, but I don’t?”

      Thanks for sharing Brodi!

  4. Great list, Nicole! I was trying to think of something to add, but am stumped… and that’s a good thing!

    1. Thanks Lindsey. What’s funny is I was running out of ideas as I was writing, but of course as I finished I thought of tons more.

      I would add always say please and thank you to the list. It seems so obvious, but man do those little things help in marriage.

      how’s the thesis stuff going? I’ve been praying! It’s gonna be great.

  5. Heard about this from @OrganicLifeLove. Thought the post was true & hilarious [especially the ice skating part].

    I’d add to this…find their favorite thing they love [food, special “it”, gift, type of movie, etc] and be willing to do it, and often, even if it’s not your preference.

    1. Candra,

      You are so right. it is so important to be interested in at least one thing your spouse is. I was eh about movies when I married my husband, but he is a film geek. Now, I really enjoy film and we watch all kinds of weird stuff together. He is much more interested in politics now because I love them. he keeps up with the news so he can talk to me about it.

      It shows such a willingness to be friends, not just spouses. Thanks for commenting. I hope to see more of you around here! Blessings.

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