Who Has it Easier, Men or Women?

Wednesday is upon us, which means it time to talk about men and women. Shall we…

I’m sure that for many of you, just by reading the title of this post you could come up with a quick and simple answer. You might already feel passionately about this topic.

There are usually those who are certain that men have it easier. Better jobs, higher salary, gray hair is distinguished. There are also those who are convinced that women have it easier: They have sex on their side, can find a man to “take care” of them, and are able to de-board crashed planes first.

I’ve written in the past and asked the question: is it really a man’s world? But today’s question is: who really has it easier, men or women?

Upon initial inspection I would vote that men do indeed have it easier. They are men after all. They rule (or at least they think they do). I used to think being a man would be so much easier. There was a time when I actually daydreamed about being a man.

Now, however, I’m not so sure. I’m no female CEO or executive. I’m not an all-powerful talk show host (ahem, the big “O”) or a famous female actress, dusting my Oscars for fun.

I also never had to suffer the injustices that women throughout history have fallen victim to: slavery, domestic violence, not even being counted as citizens of a society.

I am simply a wife and mom, which to some may sound rather boring, and most days usually are. However, I have come to realize how powerful and crucial the role of a wife and mother is in our culture and our church.

But when we think of “easier” what are we really considering? Does the amount of money you have in your wallet make life “easier”? If so, men have it easier, generally speaking. Or is “easier” measured by relationships and friendships? If that is the case, then women, who are known to be more relationship oriented than men must have it easier.

It could go on and on. But here’s what I have found to be true:

Both sexes have it tough in some ways and easier in others. Neither males nor females have it all…all the time.

Men, for example, struggle much more with sexual lust and desire than women. Some argue they are wired that way. Some argue it is a result of the fall. Whatever your belief, the male preoccupation with sex is a known fact. More than that, it is a fact that men are instructed to deny and squelch.

Men from an early age are told that despite their sexual nature, they must and should, deny that nature and not become some slutty man-whore. No, no, they should marry one woman and settle down, forever being asked to say “no” to their desire for variety.

Women, on the other hand, do not struggle nearly as much with sexual desire. They do, however, struggle with controlling their emotions. There, I said it. Chicks are emotional. We perceive, judge, feel, use our intuition, and feel some more. We make decisions based almost entirely on emotions.

I originally heard Dennis Prager discuss this topic where he astutely pointed out that sadly, most young women are not instructed to deny these desires (as young men are instructed to deny theirs). Women are instead usually allowed to act like complete emotional nut-jobs, crying at the drop of a hat or screaming when they deem it necessary.

This is a difficulty that women must overcome. Just as men must deny their sexual nature, women must deny their emotional nature.

Neither men nor women have it easy, in my estimation. Both sexes have their own personal struggles and conflicts. Both have something to learn and something to learn from each other. No one has it easier. All that to say, I’d still choose being a woman any day of the week.

Who do you think has it easier? Men or women? Or neither? How do you think men and /or women have it tough? How ca we learn sympathy and understanding of the opposite sex?

29 thoughts on “Who Has it Easier, Men or Women?”

  1. This is fantastic! I never thought about the dichotomy that existed between men and women in regards to how men are taught to deny their sexual nature while women are encouraged to indulge their emotional nature.

    I’ve wondered which sex has it easier and I think you very wise say “Both sexes have it tough in some ways and easier in others. Neither males nor females have it all…all the time.”

    And I agree that the definition of “easy” can be situational and depends on the perspective.

    1. KC,

      Thanks for the great comment! And yes, you said it well…”easy” can be situational and certainly does depend upon one’s own perspective. It’s so easy to judge from the outside, but really we should attempt to understand and show compassion to the opposite sex, knowing that everyone has it rough at times.

  2. But for the grace of God either, man or woman, is going to have a pretty rough go of this life.

    I had not thought of this particular analysis of societal demands for suppression, or lack thereof. Thanks.

  3. We have come a long way as far as gender egalitarianism goes. However, as a male, I, unfortunately, do still have some privileges. For example, I’m pretty sure that I can walk down a street and not have some one cat-call me. So there’s still plenty of work left.

    1. I agree, we have come a long way. You raise an interesting point though about cat-calls. There is such a shift now in female sexuality. What was once deemed unladylike or scandalous is now seen as totally acceptable. I.e. Women now ogling men and being the sexual aggressors. Another post for another time perhaps.

  4. Huh. I’m going to have to sit on this one for awhile. I’ve never been a real emotional female. Due in large part to my upbringing, far greater emphasis was placed on reason rather than emotion. Combine that with my personality and you have a gal who doesn’t feel comfortable showing emotion. What’s more, I’ve never quite felt allowed to show it. I’m not sure what that really means for my type.

    1. Kelly,
      I wouldn’t call my self an overly emotional girl either. I was raised by a practical, street-smart, single mom who didn’t have time or energy to be super emotional.

      I say, count yourself blessed that you do not have to overcome this part of your nature in the same way many other women do.

      I will say though too that God had to do some work on me to allow me to express my emotions in a healthy way when necessary. There has to be a balance where we feel we are allowed to show emotion in a healthy way at the right time.

  5. Great thoughts.

    I actually think that sex/emotion are not to be denied, just our natural inclination to act out of self interest/desire instead of channeling/tempering/surrendering them to Christ. They are both reflections of God’s image, but corrupted and magnified by the fall. Both very powerful, both life-giving, and both destructive.

    I agree with you – as long as I am in a western country, I take woman!

    1. Stacy,
      Great points. I would agree that I do not think sex or emotion should be denied altogether, of course not!

      Men are told, however, to deny their desire for more than one woman and instead marry one person. Women are not taught to deny any portion of their emotions and thus they often express too much or at the wrong time.

      I so agree with you too that both reflect God and both must be surrendered unto His sovereignty. Well said!

  6. Very very interesting. Good material to ponder.

    I love the comparison between what is (generally) men’s biggest struggle and what is (generally) an issue for women, and as KC said, how men are encouraged to deny theirs while we women are encouraged to indulge ours. The Disney style emotional pornography is a whole different post and topic :)

    A couple things to add. First, because I read your blog regularly, I know that you aren’t generalizing men and women to these categories. But for those who don’t know your blog, I want to make sure they know your intention isn’t to do so.

    Second, I’m a little unsettled by the words “deny emotional nature.” Like I said before, I think I know what your point is because I know your stances based on previous posts. But to someone who doesn’t, this would probably be a little offending. Then again, I read Stacy’s comment and your response to that, which helps :)

    All in all I think this is a really great discussion and there’s a lot to get into here. Thank you for your writing, as always!

  7. I’m say men. Why, they can sleep with any woman with no feelings and come home and might get caught but their wife stays, look at Bill & Hilary, still together after him and Monica L. Katherine Jackson is still legally married to Joseph, and he cheated multiple times and has another daughter, their separated but still married. The list goes on.

  8. I agree, someways men have it easier, others women do. Though one thing is, women have more options, well now anyway, clothing wise for example, you got; skirts and dresses + everything men have. Even behavior wise, women can be tom-boys or incredibly girls and it be socially acceptable, men are almost always expected to be masculine, and often if your not, your shunned by your own gender, but usually adopted by the other, of course not in every case, but it is often the case.

  9. my mom is having a bad time about the man other man and she wants certain things she wants to speak up for her emotions when she wants but considered wrong but she is a true professional otherwise

  10. Oh how I used to wrestle with this topic. I don’t anymore, because I realize that it doesn’t address my problems in any way. Everything that’s wrong with my life is mostly my fault, not because I have a dick, but because I just don’t have that imperative everybody else has to live like I’m “supposed to” according to whatever dumbass social status I got placed in. Quite the contrary. I’d have the same problems as a women, but instead of being an obnoxiously emotional autistic geek always in need of saying everything on his mind, it would instead be me burping and farting and just pissing on whatever society’s stupid arbitrary tradition of “lady-like qualities” happens to be for its time. That’s just the kinda person I am.

  11. i have always been a mangina and been pro women and pro equality, always. but since women are empowered now all they do is turn the tables and want us good modern men to pay for the mistakes other men have done in the past, although it is not even all true, maybe in islam and christianity women have been opressed, but in almost all other secular and religious cultures women are worshipped. since feminism women have been told that they are better and more intelligent then men, from kindergarden until college. of course they get better grades, if boys are always told that they are stupid and even the teachers give women a pussy bonus. also school is not cool for boys, we have got better things to do. nowadays all women think that they are more intelligent then man, when that is absolutely not the case. fact is on average men are five percent points more intelligent then women, i mean look around you. anyways all i ever wanted is to be truly loved by a women and live a happy life, but it turned out to be impossible, i live in involuntary celibate since six years now, although i am a pretty decent guy. but thats what you get for being a mangina, pro woman and want to respect a woman. suddenly it turns out that women favour the asshole type of guy, again. women don`t know what the fuck they really want. women have ruined the best years of my life. we men entrust all of our deepest secrets only and only to our girlfriends. we have a naturally higher sex drive and can only express our real love by making love to a woman, but it turns out that the next woman that i approach after six years celibacy will tell me to control my sex drive, gimme a brak. women are so stupid, they think men have no feelings. men have a much harder life then women from age 0-64 until they get their pension, of course only if they are still alive at that time. most men are single from age 14-32. most men commit suicide from age 14-32, what an incident. plus we always have got to do all the investment in a relationship, women only have got to spread thei legs. thats why 4 times more men commit suicide then women. if you are not a 10/10 nowadays you are just looked upon by them as a complete troll. since a study has showed that women are much easier influencable then man, they let themselves get manipulated by the media and only want to have mr. perfect now, anyone else is not worth to waste their time on, is needles biologic waste and may die at will. you women can`t even imagine how often i´ve been rejected. i have severe psychological illnesses that even express in physic illnesses all because of you women. women have missed me. although we could have lived such a beautiful life together. also women drive men to commit crimes. i hate women

    ps: my mother has genitally mutilated me without any good reason “circumcised” and by doing so caused me to feel less, due to the foreskin is the most sensitive organ of a men, then comes the furrixulum wich is also removed in the process, then comes the glans, wich becomes later keratinized. this has caused me to and billion other men around the globe to not can enjoy the most beautiful thing in life naturally. it also causes women to dry up and get sore because the foreskin act as a lubricant. and a ex girlfreind of mine just blamed be that she dried up. shortly after the break up which i didn`t get over till today. just think about it it was a perfectly healthy and intact organ. and the jewish money hungry doctors health issue argument doesn`t count, because you can clean the penis the same way you clean all other bodyparts. it is as if i would say: you can get a cold thats why we should cut off your nose. no health issues at all. also smegma is a natural antibacterial. it is the same as if i would cut off the a womens clitoris. of cause it causes severe psychological trauma.

    all of this i have mentioned has consequences that extremely affect the quality of living for everybody in the society and you women still ask why we men hate you?

    1. Women have it simple. They can have anything with no or little work. Men have to work so hard and get no return. I’m a working class guy and no woman wants me. You must be rich attract a mate. But at age 46, I accept it and move on. It is a woman’s world.

  12. To me, women have it their way or you can hit the highway. Some mother’s and father’s will treat the baby girl better then the boy. I think we can all understand why, but this can backfire when that boy or girl become’s older. Boy’s/men chase women for mate’s, partnership, or even out of lust. But the overall long term goal is to find a mate. Men want Bonnie, a woman that will stand for him for what ever the case. I can’t say what a women really wants, but after all these year’s of being second tier to men, half of the idea would be some type of power. Women back in the day set the standard about what a man needs. She made him feel like a man. Now that role has changed, power is at the finger tips of women, maybe it has always been that way. Women can break a man down like know other, ex: take our children, and get paid for it. Men do not have such power even in the court of law. When ever a women want to break a man pocket, heart, and soul she can very easy. ALL BOYS ARE BORN FROM WOMEN. GODS true joke.. Who has it better? WOMEN…

  13. You could argue that women now can have the same responsabilities as men, but in the end they can just spread their legs and have an easy ride through life; men don’t have that option.

    1. Oh give it a rest. You make it seem like every woman, as long as she ‘puts out’ is handed a life of ease. Look around, do you see more women having easier lives than men? Now days we are expected to be beautiful (life long and that is illogical, we can’t be 18 forever) work and bring home money, have the kids, care for them and as someone mentioned we ‘still’ get paid less overall no matter how good a job we do. While we work we deal with periods, pregnancy and menopause. You guys just ogle women and scratch. Hard life guys.

      1. Finally someone agrees with me,how can someone say men have it easier. I mean there will always be exceptions. But in general especially a mother of kids has soo much pressure

  14. I believe that men have it easier cause they don’t get periods, they don’t have to get pregnant and push a watermelon out their vag if they want biological children, and higher salary. Also I do not believe in god. That is all.

  15. Men don’t have periods, pregnancy (now that is a choice, at least in Westernized cultures) and all it does to the body and then, which NO ONE has mentioned. Menopause. Night sweats, vag. dryness, skin ages faster and itches. Of course, life itself can hand any gender problems, but biologically, women have it far tougher. Our family doctor even says this is the case, so he really spoils his wife. :)

  16. None of these reasons are valid. Men can whore around and its seen as a positive thing, also women cannot cry like crazy people because no one wants to see a super emotional woman 🙄
    And women and men struggle with sexual desires equally, it’s just a cultural myth that women do not want sex, they want it as much as men do.
    It is true, however, that men are more redtricted when it comes to emotions, but they are taken jnto consideration when giving an opinion etc…
    Overall I think men have it easier cause there is nothing else besides the emotion bit.

  17. Women have it simple. They can have anything with no or little work. Men have to work so hard and get no return. I’m a working class guy and no woman wants me. You must be rich attract a mate. But at age 46, I accept it and move on. It is a woman’s world.

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