Lies and Myths Archives - Page 8 of 12

The Virgin Revolution Part 2

Today, is part 2 on the discussion of being a virgin, within the Christian community. Last week, I posed the question: Where are all the virgins? And why are they so silent?

The comments that followed were poignant and eye-opening. I had no idea that my seemingly simple question would lead to such an impassioned and emotional discussion.

Many of you who commented on part 1 of The Virgin Revolution, discussed the shame, embarrassment, and ridicule you have received for being a virgin from within the church. I was shocked.

Others of you commented that the concept of sex, and thus virginity, is so poorly taught within the church, that you are left feeling helpless, isolated, or worse, forgotten.

But while virginity costs much, the rewards are even greater. Today’s questions, however, ask: What are you waiting for? And is it worth it? Continue reading The Virgin Revolution Part 2

What Does God Think of You?

Some days I wake up feeling sorry for myself, but I shouldn’t…

…because Christ is never sorry for me. He never sighs and shakes His head and thinks, “Man, saving Nicole…what a waste.”

No. He sees me and thinks, “There she is, my beloved. My daughter. How I love her.”

And I don’t know about you, but it can be so easy for me to forget who I am, to wallow in self-pity, to revel in my mediocrity…

But, if I really know who I am, who He says I am, well, that kind of thinking should be impossible. If I stopped to ask myself, “What does God really think of me?” I might be surprised by the answer.

God says I am (and you are)… Continue reading What Does God Think of You?

The Virgin Revolution

Last year, a girl by the name of Natalie Dylan, decided to auction off her virginity to the highest bidder. She was met with a slew of both support and hatred. Recently in the United Kingdom, a 16-year-old just attempted the same transaction, in order to pay for school.

There used to be a time when being a virgin meant something. There was a time, when a woman’s chaste and pure nature was desirable, not only to men, but to the woman herself. There was also a time when men abstained from sex as well, choosing to wait until their wedding night.

How did we transition from the ideal of sexual purity to a poor girl, obviously broken, selling her body on eBay, giving away what should be cherished and protected for some cash? I want to know though, where have all the virgins gone? And if they are around why aren’t they speaking up? Continue reading The Virgin Revolution

Who’s Your Pastor? (Hint: It’s Not Who You Think It is)

from the archives

The role of pastor is perhaps the most prestigious within the American Church. Most of us have had a pastor at one point or another–the guy who speaks from the pulpit, or runs a particular ministry, or leads a home group.

The gift of pastor is often referred to as an spiritual gift of equipping, listed alongside teachers, apostles, prophets, and evangelists. In Ephesians 4:12 Paul writes, “to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ…”

I have always wondered, however, how it is that many pastors are actually confused with teachers and many teachers are confused with pastors.

The word for “pastors”–without delving into the historical evolution of that word–is by Greek definition, poimēn, which literally translates, “shepherd.” They are to shepherd their flock. They make sure people are enfolded into the flock, growing safely, and protected from the wolves.

Chances are that the person who you think of as your pastor today may not actually be fulfilling the role of pastor in your life. Chances are someone else very well could be. The question is: Who’s your pastor?

Here are some questions to help determine who your pastor might be… Continue reading Who’s Your Pastor? (Hint: It’s Not Who You Think It is)

Top 5 Lies About Christians

I’ve written before about the lies that Christians believe, but what about the lies people wrongly believe about Christians? Are all Christians judgmental jerks, out to convert you at the drop of a hat? Maybe, but not most of the ones I know.

Yet we all know there is a long history of people misunderstanding, and flat out not knowing what Christians are really like. I don’t want to pick a fight, but I do want to set the record straight.

Here are the top 5 lies about Christians, starting with our so-called “lack of intelligence…” Continue reading Top 5 Lies About Christians

What is “Positive Thinking”?

Today’s guest post is from Travis Mamone, a.k.a. The Boy with the Thorn in His Side. He is also the co-host of Something Beautiful podcast, which I had the privilege of being interviewed for recently. Travis is a free lance writer by night. He has a passion to express his heart and struggles. I hope you enjoy today’s post. Psst- I’m also posting over at Travis’ blog today with a letter I wrote to God.

Hey guys, I’m Travis, a.k.a. The Boy with the Thorn in His Side (yes, I like the Smiths). In keeping with Nicole’s deconstruction of the self-esteem movement, I want to talk about the idea of “positive thinking.”

Firstly, I need to point out that I am not talking about cognitive therapy. Cognitive therapy, for those who don’t know, is a method of psychotherapy that teaches you to challenge the negative thoughts that plague your mind and ruin your life. I’ve been in cognitive therapy for years, and it has helped heal a lot of psychological wounds. So before anyone raises any objections, when I say “positive thinking,” I am not referring to a legitimate form of psychotherapy.

When I say “positive thinking,” I am referring to The Secret.

No doubt many of you remember The Secret, the big hit self-help book that suckered . . . I mean “inspired” millions of readers. Continue reading What is “Positive Thinking”?

I’m a Bad Friend…

I’m sure my husband is sick of it. And heck, you might be sick of it, too. And I’m sorry if this theme has become redundant, but this is where I’m at right now. This is what I’m walking through.

You see, I’m a bad friend. For all my complaining and pity-party throwing, it turns out that I’m not all I’m cracked up to be. I mean, sure, I might appear to be a super cool friendly type, but really, I could improve.

I’m a bad friend for lots of reasons… Continue reading I’m a Bad Friend…

Does Life Stop After Kids?

I attended a wedding recently. Over dinner, my husband and I sat across from a newlywed couple we know. We started in on the usual chit chat. They asked us about our kids.

During our conversation, I misheard the wife and thought she had said something about having a baby. Her husband quickly and loudly corrected me. “No! No baby! Not anytime soon!”

We all laughed. They then explained some of their “baby hesitation” to us. They had a few couple friends who became pregnant and promised that having a baby would not affect their friendships or lifestyles.

However, once babies were born, their friends slowly disappeared. No more dinners, no movies, no evening hangouts. They vanished and were sucked up in the baby vacuum swirling with car seats, burp cloths, and the dreaded suburban nightmare: the minivan!

They asked us point-blank: “What have you not been able to do since having kids?”

Jonathan, my husband, and I paused for a second and looked at one another. Then we replied in unison… Continue reading Does Life Stop After Kids?

DON’T Be Yourself

A lot of people seem to think that who you are is more important than what you do. “Just be yourself” has become a slogan in the self-esteem movement.

Being yourself is touted as some kind of aspiration worth achieving–a sort of goal that, once fulfilled, equates to happiness and wholeness.(Doesn’t Oprah tell people to “be themselves” along with telling them they are their own gods?)

When life throws you trouble, people tell you to be yourself. When conflict arises, people tell you to be yourself. When you question your purpose in life, we often remind ourselves to, well, just be ourselves.

But what if being yourself is what got you into trouble in the first place? What if being yourself ain’t so great? I propose that you actually shouldn’t be yourself.

Continue reading DON’T Be Yourself

How Far is Too Far When Dating?

Ever wonder what exactly is acceptable from a purity standpoint within a dating relationship? Is holding hands the extent or can you make-out (with tongue)? What if you happen to do a little more…where do you draw the line?

Well, my friend and writer Ally Spotts just wrote an e-book called Asking All The Wrong Questions: Why Christians are Waiting for Marriage for Sex? Basically, Ally demystifies this question and challenges Christians to begin asking the right questions about sex.

I was lucky enough to get my hands on an early copy and let me tell you, Ally pulls no punches. She says what everyone is thinking. If you are a single Christian navigating the dating world have you ever asked yourself any of these questions: Continue reading How Far is Too Far When Dating?