from the archives
It’s Friday and that also means it’s Favorite Things Friday (sorry if you are tired of me reminding you. I’m half reminding myself and also letting any new potential readers, all three of you, know what goes on around here). You would think that I’d be running out of Favorite Things, but no, not me. I apparently love, like, lust, and covet all kinds of crap. That being said, today I am sharing with all of you, my Favorite (Guilty Pleasure) Things.
I’m not sure why I chose this topic for a Favorite Things Friday but perhaps it is because, I am secretly longing to confess these delicious, titillating, and addicting pleasures with all of you, in the hopes that I will… be freed of them? Heck no, nobody wants that. I’m hoping that, by confessing my guilty pleasures, you all will confess your own, thereby making me feel better about myself. Yup, purely selfish motives.
So, don’t be coy. This is a safe environment (okay, I hate that phrase. I’m adding it as #11 to this post. Boom. Done.) We all have a few secret loves that we tend to enjoy behind closed doors or blush a little when sharing with others. I’m not talking about anything scandalous (let’s be honest, I am totally talking about scandalous stuff) or sinful (this is a Christian blog, come on) but rather fun, embarrassing, and/or totally lame.
Please don’t judge me and I won’t judge you. Don’t shake your head in disapproval, just smile and read along, knowing that you too have your own guilty pleasures… and I expect you to share yours with me. That’s the deal. Let’s shake on it. First guilty pleasure up…
Go Fug Yourself. This little gem is one of the biggest time-sucks known to man. It is basically what I would do all day, if I had nothing to do. Two hilarious ladies, Heather and Jessica, post photos of celebs and wannabe celebs and then critique their clothes, makeup and hair. “Fugly is the new pretty,” they say. Sounds, eh? Truth be told, I navigated away from this post mid-writing and killed 20 minutes staring at Nicole Kidman’s “settling botox” and Lauren Conrad’s burgundy lips (have I shared too much? You said you wouldn’t judge me, remember?). It is wonderful. These girls write, also, with more pithy wit and scrumptious humor than most anyone. Their writing is almost more enjoyable than the photos… almost.
Krispy Kreme. I will not describe for you my Krispy Kreme tendencies (they occur when I fall off the gluten-free wagon), because I want you to like me, and respect me, and not be totally grossed out by me.
Angry Birds. After making fun of my husband for a month or so, as he sat, thumbs flying, face glued to his iPhone screen, I found myself ignoring my children and their needs in my attempts to make a good shot. There is a reason this game has become a phenomena.
Beyonce. What? Like you don’t play Halo, Crazy in Love, or Single Ladies on a daily basis? Puh-leez.
The Hills. This one is dreadfully embarrassing and humiliating for me. I don’t even know how or when this addiction got started. I was walking home from the mall one day, and a group of really cool twenty-something moms, stopped me, and pulled me in an alley. They offered me a hit. “Just one hit and nothing will be the same,” they said. And that’s all it took, just one puff… and I was hooked. It took me 3, almost 4 long seasons to get off of The Hills. I even watched it secretly, on the computer, in an attempt to hide my addiction from my husband. Now, however, I’m happy to say that I am Hills-free. I occasionally have some Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but it is so much easier to handle and better for you. I know when to say, “No,” now.
Fashion and design. I have stacks and stacks of fashion and design magazines next to my bed. I dream about a closet filled with designer duds and a house designed just as impeccably. Instead, I have a closet filled with things I hide from my kids and a house filled with dishes, laundry, and all the crud needed for a three year-old , a four year-old, and a baby on the way.
Red Vines. Ever seen those buckets of Red Vines they sell at stores, like Costco? I have to divert my eyes from such buckets, because otherwise I will be taken in. I will consume an entire bucket. I will then keel over in pain and assume the fetal position from the noxious amounts of Red No.5 consumed.
Figure skating. Admit it, you love figure skating, too. You only watch the winter Olympics to see the beautiful, graceful creatures in their elaborate costumes, skate onto the ice and magnificently perform their short and long routines. You marvel at the footwork, the Axel, the triple toe. You curse Russia and its 7.5 score and applaud Canada for appropriately awarding the U.S. skater an 8.8. You wish Michelle Kwan would return to the ice for one last hoorah and one final standing ovation. You… wait, what? You don’t do those things? It’s just me? Hmm…
Makeup. As in cosmetics. As in cash cow. As in, I am a makeup junkie and have drawers full of goodies. Every color, every brand, every new-fangled formula. They will all be mine, oh yes, they will all be mine.
Vampire and zombie movies. This shouldn’t really be a guilty pleasure, but some Christians give me “the look” when they hear I like vampires and zombies. You know “the look”. It’s the, “Are you serious, you like watching walking dead people and bloodsuckers, ’cause that’s not very Christian.” Hey, it’s better than liking Twilight. There, I said it.
Jazz hands. Long live jazz hands!
There you have it, my guilty pleasures. Hopefully you were inspired and encouraged in your own weird world of wonderfulness. Okay, you know what comes next. You can’t get out of it. You promised. Go on, what are YOUR guilty pleasures? Share them below… and make ’em good!
Oh my gosh! This made me laugh so hard- you are way funnier then you let on, girl!
I was totally nodding along with you on so many of these.
Beyonce is my favorite- and it makes me love you a little more. Why do people make fun of her? She is amazing- I even named my first car after her. It was a silver beatle, and I called her Tiffany Beyonce (or Tiffy B) for short. Tiffany because she was silver and Beyonce because she was bootylicious!
I will NEVER turn down a krispy cream donut!
I love what you said about angry birds, made me laugh so hard, and so true- and something I am so guilty of!
I watched the hills in the beginning because I wanted to see my school- FIDM, but I couldn’t get into it!
I love fashion and design- but what’s wrong with that??
Jazz hands! You crack me up!
Oh, and the ones I would add…
– Twilight (It’s so addicting, and good I don’t care what anyone else says!)
-I love high school shoes- gossip girl, one tree hill…I don’t know why!
I’m so glad to hear we share a mutual love of Beyonce. That makes me happy.
I love that you went to FIDM too. I almost applied to Parson’s in NY but was talked out of pursuing a career in fashion by my friends. Kinda glad for that now.
You dig Twilight huh? The books or movies or both? And I thought someone would say they love teen shows, although Gossip Girl is the weirdest “teen” show. It’s like 21 year olds, playing 17 yr olds, but acting like 40 yr olds. Gotta love it!
Oh and thanks for saying I’m funnier than I let on. You made my day, sista!
LOL- just realized that I said I love high school shoes… glad you understood what I meant!
Twilight- I dig the books- not so much the movies. The movies don’t even compare (and kind of ruin it for me).
Fine. I’ll admit to a few things. But after this, I will totally deny that I ever said anything. Deal? Ok.
1. Kylie Minogue’s new single. Just have that one song, and it’s super campy-gay-disco-gllitter, and it’s wonderful. It’s called “All the Lovers.”
2. Dawson’s Creek. I’ve seen every episode, perhaps twice. If it’s on, I’ll stop whatever I’m doing to watch it. Do I have a crush on Joey Potter? Darn right I do.
3. Austin Powers movies. I’m really not feeling guilty about this one, but like you with the Zombie movies, I get a lot of strange looks from my church-crowd friends. Good poop humor never stops getting funny, imho.
4. Putting “z” on the end of words while chatting. Though I’m 31, I love nothing more than saying things like “whatevz” and “hellz yeah” and “lolz” when I’m chatting on AIM. Makes me seem 13, but I don’t carez.
5. Going shopping with my best friend, a girl. Not sure how or why it works, but it does. We try to find the slutty outfits and I try to convince her she should buy them. Hmm.
6. The Saw movie series. Will I go see in in 3D? Oh yes. Will my gf not come with me? You bet. More popcorn for me! I just love all the blood and bad acting. Winning combo, that is.
That’s enough for now, I think. :) Have a great weekend!
Oh Josh, I just laughed my way through your comment! Pure awesomeness!
You and my husband share a love of Dawson’s Creek and Joey Potter. You guys might have to go to blows over her, not sure.
#1 and #4 had me laughing hardily, so thanks for that. So good…
Rock on Dawson’s Creek. And for the record, I have absolutely *no* guilt about it.
As for my guilty pleasures:
1. Dance movies. I freaking love them. They’re typically terrible, but I don’t care… I just want to watch people dance!
2. Keeping Up with the Kardashians. It’s no Hills, but yeah, I know… [puts head down in shame]
3. Wearing male thong underwear. Too much information, you say? Perhaps. But this is a confessional, right?
As for other things that I have absolutely no guilt about, but other men might, I really love shopping, decorating, spa treatments, Project Runway, and… anything else I miss, honey?
I know it’s REALLY bad, but I like to listen to Eminem. I’ve this whole case I could make for why it’s okay, but I’ll spare you the details. Eminem and musicals.
Yeah, quite the combo, I know! :)
Anwtuan, that is quite the combo, I agree. I totally understand on the Eminem thing. I love hip-hop and he is just so good.
I like musicals too. But you my friend are the first guy, I have ever met who likes both!
Thanks for sharing!
Ok… Here goes a few:
Lady Gaga and other Dance music that makes Life pick up a beat! Yes… Beyonce. Love Maroon 5.
Keeping up with the Kardashians, yes, I admit this too.
Family Jewels, Gene Simmons… Ironically one of the least offensive shows on tv, yet hilarious.
Kendra, Poor Tim, not his favorite.
TLC
Girl Movies and comedies, However How to Train a Dragon is definitely my fav right now… yes, I’m a mom but doesn’t matter… Think everyone should see it!
Shopping, Lunch, and more shopping… especially makeup and “girly” stuff, the more glitter the better. I’m just sayin….(hmmm, now after yesterdays post things are coming to mind I don’t usually say) How many Lip Glosses can one have? Never too many!
Sunglasses… Love em, My friends used to have to escort me out of the stores before I’d buy another pair!
Football… yes… At our house we might as well be a fraternity when the Huskers are on.
UNO Hockey and beer. Tim’s rule, can’t leave without 3. (only get to experience this once a year, sometimes every other year now) Used to have season tickets while dating. It’s a blast!
Rockin at da club..LOL (again, yesterday’s post just not leavin me) If I get ta dancin don’t even try to stop me! “I can feel the music” Now this hasn’t happened for awhile accept at home with kids…. but I do love to dance!
Fashion and Design is a fav of mine too.
Sushi!
I’m sure I’ll think of a ton later but how could I forget the biggest guilty pleasure of all?
STARBUCKS!
And mostly havin fun with the Babycakes!
You are so silly, Jen. I love your guilty pleasures. They are so you, if that makes sense. Hey, let’s have a shopping day sometime with no kids!
I’m glad you finished your list with your second love–Starbucks! xo
Oh, I just saw the Eminem one…. This is Definitely a guilt for me… I KNOW the words are HORRIBLE but EVERY time a song comes on it’s like an addiction… think I could switch it but somehow can’t always do it!
Finally, a post I can answer without wondering if you’re all groaning. FYI, I love your list Nicole, and several others on each other list!
Mine would be:
Reality tv shows, which I watch online aaaaallllll the time.
Texting. I text like a 13 yr old girl, 10-15 K a month. Yeah, no lie. I had to erase my inbox 3 times yesterday because I passed the 300 saved texts mark, JUST INCOMING. Loooove it!
My super long hair. It doesn’t look great on me and my mom fusses weekly about it, but I love knowing that my hair is nearly long enough to sit on.
Frozen coffee from anywhere, at anytime.
My husband. Some people will think that one is weird, but since we’re technically separated and I’m pretty sure my dad has put a price on his head, I feel guilty for loving and wanting him, even though we’re married. VERY crazy.
NOW cd’s. Don’t groan!
Jersey knit sheets. Who’da thunk?
Being considered WEIRD. Yep, that rocks.
Twilight lover! I liked the Sookie books but they were super explicit for me, and I can’t watch a single show without feeling like the porno police are going to bust down my door, so I’ll just be content with the nearly platonic love triangle of Edward, Jacob and Bella. :)
Ade
Ade, great list! I especially love that you text like a 13 year old girl! And I hear ya on the Frozen coffee…so yum.
“Porn police” had me laughing…hard!
Also, I am sorry to hear about you and your husband. It is totally not weird in any way that you miss him, want him, and love him. I will be praying for you both.
you Got it! Would be SO Fun!
Chick Flicks. I am a guy and I’m a sucker for chick flicks. If you need somebody to watch a scary movie with, I run the other way. If you need somebody to watch a chick flick with, I’m your man.
Chicken McNuggets. The nearest Chick-fil-a is 80 miles away, so I have to settle with McNuggets from McDonalds. I settle with them 3 to 4 times a week.
Hanson. Most people just don’t understand them, but I do.
Toy Story movies. I’m young at heart, and this proves it.
YOU ARE KILLING ME with the Krispy Kreme. There is nothing even remotely close to a “hot and now” glazed Krispy Kreme within 5000 miles of us. Ahhhhhhh!
Btw we just watched “Shaun of the Dead” broadcast here totally in Spanish, still hilarious.
I got completely bewitched by “Swamp People” while on furlough. A little cheesy but much better than my wife who could not miss “Sister Wives.”
Great post
Erm…okay. Since we’re all not judging and everything.
Doo-wop. Mostly one-hit-wonders stuff.
Chocolate.
Dr. Pepper. I indulge way too often.
Boston Creme donuts. Krispy Kremes are a close second.
Music.
Disney Princess movies. (Then again, I also have little girls, so maybe it’s just that I can handle them since I watch them so much.)
M*A*S*H. Why, yes, I will randomly quote lines.
Also…randomly quoting lines from my favorite movies. Why, yes, I have very little original material.
Kenny’s Soft Serve ice cream. Smoothest, creamiest stuff ever. (It’s a local joint.)
Anything Winnie-the-Pooh.
French fries, made from fresh-cut potatoes. Known to cure almost anything. Especially when smothered with grated sharp cheddar. I now have a craving. Great.
Romance novels. So cliche, isn’t it? My TBR pile is, well, HUGE.
Confession is good for the soul, eh? Here are some confessions from a guy in the generation that preceded yours.
The Carpenters. My son tried hard to guilt me out of this one some years ago, and his shaming did keep me away for a while, but I had to go back. No one has a voice like Karen Carpenter. And her brother Richard was a brilliant arranger.
Talk Radio. So many people expect that I should be listening to Christian radio, but I can’t. Give me Dennis Prager, Hugh Hewitt, and other conservative voices of wisdom and knowledge that doesn’t otherwise get out to the masses.
Movies. I was raised to love movies and games. That was my mother’s apparent purpose in my young life. Yes, I have enjoyed Harry Potter. Monty Python and the Holy Grail and Young Frankenstein still make me grin. Gross Pointe Blank is one of our, er, my (sorry, this is supposed to be a private confession, right?) favorites. And the guiltiest? Dare I share it? Under Siege (we know to hit the ‘skip to next chapter’ button when he arrives in the party room). “I’m just a lowly chef.” “We’re gonna die.” Love it.
Don’t any of you go out and watch any of these on my recommendation. This comment will self-destruct before I am held accountable. ;-P