How Far is Too Far When Dating?

Ever wonder what exactly is acceptable from a purity standpoint within a dating relationship? Is holding hands the extent or can you make-out (with tongue)? What if you happen to do a little more…where do you draw the line?

Well, my friend and writer Ally Spotts just wrote an e-book called Asking All The Wrong Questions: Why Christians are Waiting for Marriage for Sex? Basically, Ally demystifies this question and challenges Christians to begin asking the right questions about sex.

I was lucky enough to get my hands on an early copy and let me tell you, Ally pulls no punches. She says what everyone is thinking. If you are a single Christian navigating the dating world have you ever asked yourself any of these questions: Continue reading How Far is Too Far When Dating?

Confession: I Didn't Wait til Marriage…

“I’m participating in a blog series hosted by Ally Spotts called Confessions of a 20-Something Christian, where 20-Somethings get honest about their lives, loves and regrets. My confession is…

I had sex long before marriage. And here’s why…

Unfortunately, one of the defining characteristics of Christians (as defined by other Christians, of course) is that we remain virgins until marriage.

Heck, that alone explains why so many Christians get married young–they can’t wait to have sex. But then there’s me.

I didn’t wait until marriage because no one told me not to. Sounds a bit over-simplified, I know, but it’s the truth. I did not grow up hearing “Don’t have sex.” I was told about the mechanics of sex at any early age and then told to use protection when I was older.

The saddest part, is that I never actually wanted to have sex. I didn’t become a Christian until I was almost 17 and by then I’d already lost my virginity.

All along the way though, I never felt right about sex. I always had a feeling that what I was doing something wrong, dirty, or shameful. I went along with it because, well, it’s what all the cool kids were doing…

No, that’s a lie. It’s not what all the cool kids were doing. I had sex because I was looking for somethingContinue reading Confession: I Didn't Wait til Marriage…

15 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life

Happy Wednesday and happy He Said/She Said day. In the past, i have written quite a bit about sex. I guess I’ve got sex on the brain, what can I say. I’ve covered topics like male sexuality and the controversial issue of having sex even when you don’t feel like it.

Today, I thought I’d devote a post to sex yet again. This time I’m sharing ways to improve your sex life. I am, of course, working under the assumption that the two people doing the horizontal mambo are married…’cause that’s how I roll.

Here are 15 ways to improve your sex life: Continue reading 15 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life

What Do Men Want?

Happy He Said/She Said day. What do men want? I know what you might be thinking. I certainly would have said the same thing only a few short years ago.

We all know the quips about what men want. They only want one thing, we hear: sex. Television, the movies, and popular culture seem to consistently and and carelessly confirm this theory.

We are told sex is the driving force behind men. The reason they chase women and the reason they want women. I agree, men like sex. They even need sex, but is sex alone what men want?

While I believe men are simple, that does not mean they are ignoramus, ape-like, sex-crazed beasts. So, if they don’t just want (or only want) sex, what do men really want? Continue reading What Do Men Want?

A Sexy Question…

It’s Wednesday, which also means it is your favorite topic of the week–He Said/She Said. I wanted to have a brand spankin’ new post for you today, but I am feeling a bit under-the-weather and thus, I opted to sleep when I should have been writing. C’est la vie.

Instead, here is a post from the archives that you most likely haven’t seen called: Who Enjoys Sex More, Men or Women?

Go on, click the link and keep reading. It gets really interesting. I promise.

Be back next Wednesday too, when I will start a two-part series asking Why Do Men and Women Cheat? Until then…

Who Enjoys Sex More, Men or Women?

Okay, I know this is a bit of a racy topic but it truly came about organically. I was brainstorming ideas for He Said/She Said with my husband one night. I threw this idea out, “Who enjoys sex more?”

Jonathan answered, “Well that’s an easy one.”

“Oh really?” I asked “You would say ‘men’ huh?”

“Yeah, men.”

“I disagree,” I explained. “I think men want sex more. They might even need sex more but I don’t think they necessarily enjoy sex more.”

He was quiet for a second.

“Huh.” He said and nodded his head.

Settled. I won.

So now onto you… Shall I try and convince you of my reasoning? Continue reading Who Enjoys Sex More, Men or Women?

Have Sex…Even When You Don't Feel Like It

Having sex in marriage is important. Necessary. Crucial.

Women need sex to feel emotionally connected. Men need sex to feel loved and desirable.

But as most married women will tell you, marriage sure slows down the frequency of sex and sexual mood. Whether it be long work days, stress, children, or other daily distraction–a woman’s sexual impulse can be sucked right out.

All too often in marriage, women find themselves saying “no” to sex much more than “yes.” There is even the mythical male who turns down sex with his wife… a very rare breed, indeed.

I have heard it said before that women should just go ahead and have sex, even when they don’t feel like it. I agree with that sentiment and here’s why: Continue reading Have Sex…Even When You Don't Feel Like It

My Porn Story

My Porn Story

Last week, I posted a video called Ted Bundy’s Dirty Little Secret. The comments that followed were impassioned and varying. The dirty little secret is pornography. I promised to do a follow-up post discussing my own personal views and story regarding the subject, so here I am, ready to talk porn.

I imagine that almost all of us, in one way or another, have been affected by pornography. It is so rampant and so prevalent that it is difficult to escape.

My porn story is probably very much like other porn stories, and it begins on a warm Arizona afternoon… Continue reading My Porn Story

Your Husband is NOT a Pervert, Part 2: Top 3 Ways to Help Her Understand

This is a guest post from none other than my hubster, Jonathan, in follow-up to last week’s first-parter. It’s a doozy.

Well I’m glad to know that my wife doesn’t think I’m a pervert. I would’ve guessed that, but it’s always good to have her own written words to point back to in our future discussions about sex. Ah, the joys of a blogging wife.

But what about you poor fellas out there that don’t have my same fortune? You men out there with wives who think you’re just a plain sick-o that thinks about sex “all the time” and happens to be “in the mood” at the absolute worst times. Or perhaps you have a wife that gets the general gist, but could still use some coaching on what you want in the bedroom. This one’s for you, gentlemen.

Your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to help your wife understand your sexual needs and wants. Easier said than done, right? Well, let’s brainstorm, guys (and ladies, we’ll even let you listen in and provide your thoughts, too)…

Continue reading Your Husband is NOT a Pervert, Part 2: Top 3 Ways to Help Her Understand

Sex: Good, Clean Fun

Sex: Good Clean Fun

It’s He Said/She Said Wednesday again, which means it’s time to talk about two of my favorite subjects: men and women. Today, though, is going to get a little saucy, as I am tackling the issue of sex.

The Church and sex have a long and checkered past. Either the Church is silent on the subject, or it’s all too vocal. But how do individual Christians deal with issue of sex?

We believers are not known for being sexy people. We are known for being a whole lot of other things before being sexy. But why not sexy? The Lord, in His goodness, created sex, after all. He even created it for enjoyment and pleasure. So are married believers actually enjoying sex? Or are they perhaps stilted in the bedroom by the negative connotations that the Church, and sometimes the world, attaches to the word “sex”?

Sex is supposed to be fun–so is it? Are you enjoying good old fashioned sex the way God designed it? Continue reading Sex: Good, Clean Fun