Dear God…

Dear God,

I’m sorry…

I’m sorry that I spend more time on my computer than I do talking to You.

I’m sorry that I come to You so often when I am broken, hurting, and lonely, and not before.

I’m sorry that You get my leftovers when what you deserve is my first fruits.

I’m sorry that I still doubt You even though I know you have never let me down.

I’m sorry I don’t look more like Your Son and instead I look so much like everyone else.

I’m sorry I still sin when I know good and well I have been freed from sin.

I’m sorry that I treat You warmly one minute and act distant the next.

I’m sorry that I don’t tell nearly enough people about You.

I’m sorry that I am often lazy in my faith.

I’m sorry for the times I am lukewarm.

But, I thank you…

Thank You Lord that You still listen to me even when I complain and grumble.

Thank You that when I offer You leftovers You offer me grace and compassion.

Thank You that I could never earn Your love, because I know I would fail, but instead You give it so freely.

Thank You that even when I doubt You, You never doubt me.

Thank You that Your love covers a multitude of sins.

Thank You for finding me, and rescuing me, and being with me always.

Thank You that when I lay my burdens before You, I am reminded that Your burden is easy and Your yoke is light.

Thank You that You are a God who allows me to come to you with each piece of broken me, each bit of tarnished girl, and that You never shame me or guilt me for the choices I’ve made.

Thank you for your Son, who I want to be more like, and who You gave to me, for freedom’s sake.

Thank You that You aren’t finished with me, not even close.

Thank You for bringing me gifts of tremendous blessing even though I am so undeserving.

Thank you that You are a good God.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I love you…

Sincerely,

Nicole

What would you apologize for? What fills your heart with gratitude?

original version of this post appeared on The Boy with the Thorn in His Side and was inspired by Alece Ronzino.

Friday Findings: Gym Teachers, March Madness, and a New Human Species

Frieday Findings on Modern RejectSomehow this week, I managed to take care of 3 other people, exercise insane amounts, including some rather painful P90X workouts that technically should be banned in the U.S. for unlawful bodily injury, and write the most posts in one week I have written since having a baby 6 months ago. Go me!

Whew. I’m exhausted, as well I should be.

But it doesn’t stop there. Oh no. And why should it when there are so many interesting, funny, inspiring things to partake of on the Interwebz.

Here’s what got me smiling this week…

I Bet that Gym Teacher Couldn’t Spell “Synecdoche” to Save Her Life from Alice Bradley’s blog Finslippy. I’ve mentioned Ms. Bradley on MR before. She happens to be one of my favorite writers, period. Right now, she’s running a little blog series on childhood teachers. {sigh} She is funnier than me on my funniest days and what’s better than reminiscing about childhood teachers?

Beyond Evangelical from Frank Viola. I mentioned this important series by Frank Viola a few weeks ago, and this is the last installment in the 7 part blog series, but also provides links to the other posts in the series.  I think Viola’s definition and assessment of what it means to be “beyond evangelical” is revelatory and not to be ignored.

Cheap art. No seriously. I have always dreamed of having a house filled with beautiful artwork–paintings hanging from wall to wall–a regular art gallery right in my living room. But alas, I grew up and realized that art is crazy expensive, unless you want to hang Justin Bieber posters from Hot Topic (which might not be too bad, ’cause I mean, it is the Biebs).

But a while ago, I discovered 20×200, which is an ongoing and rotating collection of artwork by talented artists that you can actually afford. Just a warning, if you click through, be prepared to lose an hour. Here is a painting by one of my favorite artists, Jennifer Sanchez.

March Madness is oh so good. I love March Madness. I am generally not a sports girl, but something about college basketball gets me geeked out. Yet, I assume most people don’t care and that is why I’m sharing this post from Mashable: 10 March Madness Brackets that Have Nothing to do with Basketball. Way cool list. Enjoy.

New Human Found. And lastly, speaking of geeky, I have a weird love affair with anthropology, archeology, and ancient cultures. My husband has had to endure far too many documentaries on Machu Pichu and the Aztecs. Well, scientists in China recently discovered the skeletal remains of what appears to be a “new human species.” Say what? I find these discoveries fascinating and I am always intrigued to see how God will reveal His consistency in design through them. Read the article and tell me what you think. A new human?

Well, looks like I was all over the place this week. What about you? Are you a March Madness fan? Any great discoveries you’d care to share? Lay it on me! I’d love to hear.

Are You a Saint or a Sinner?

We’ve all heard Christians say it and we’ve most likely said it ourselves: “I’m just a sinner saved by grace.”

We tell unbelievers that we are sinners just like them, only difference is, we’ve met Jesus, accepted His gift of salvation, and been saved.

And let me just say, this is completely false.

That’s right. We are lying when we speak these words. We are not sinners. We are something quite different… Continue reading Are You a Saint or a Sinner?

Your Job is NOT as Important as You Think


from the archives

When we first meet someone and we begin the usual obligatory chit chat, we inevitably ask the question, “So, what do you do?”

And they give the expected answer. They state what they do for a living and talk briefly about their job or their career.

I have always found this to be such a depressing exchange. Sure, it’s just chit chat. You are talking with a stranger. It just seems to me that what people should be asking, and perhaps some of them are trying to ask is instead, “Who are you?”

To which we respond with… Continue reading Your Job is NOT as Important as You Think

Friday Findings: Church Diversity, Food Porn, and Shaving

Frieday Findings on Modern RejectFriday, sweet Friday. Thank you for being here once again. I have to admit, my findings this week are a rather eclectic and odd assortment. Hope you don’t mind and don’t judge me.

First up…

Diversity in the Church. Over at Q blog, I read a great interview with Dave Gibbons, who is “the founding pastor of New Song Church, a multigenerational, multicultural, and multisite church in inner city L.A“.  I am personally passionate about the subject of church diversity and found it to be an inspiring read.

Food blogs galore. This week, I have been preoccupied with fodie blogs, clicking through link after link, to discover hundreds of mouth-watering, deliecious recipes. Why? Well, I’m finally tackling the extra baby weight that kiddo #3 planted on me. Which means I am desperately missing my old friends chocolate, high fructose corn-syrup, and caffeine. {sigh} Pray for me. But here’s a few of the food blogs Ive been trolling, er um, stalking…

Skinny Taste– tons of gluten free, low-fat options here (I’m a no gluten girl). My fave right now.

All Day Long I Dream  About Food– great blog name and great easy and yummy recipes.

 

The Girl Who Ate Everything–More just food porn than food I can actually eat, but still so tempting.

Lastly, my husband introduced me to a magical, hilarious, original site called Dollar Shave Club. Before you make any snap judgements, watch the video. It is beyond funny.

So there’s my week.  A big mish-mash of nothing. Hope you loved every single second of it. Now, please share what sites (or people if that’s your thing)you’ve been stalking this week!

20 Ways to Love Your Husband Better

If you’ve been around here before, you probably know that I love, like luuuurve, my husband. Thing is, this shouldn’t be revelatory news. I mean, us wives should love our husbands.

But stuff happens. Life happens. Kids happen. Exhaustion happens. And before we know it, many of those lovey-dovey feelings fade into the background.

We become more like roommates than spouses. More like buddies than lovers. More like co-parents than two people crazy in love.

So what’s a wife to do? Well, for starters she can figure out ways to love her husband better because doing so can actually produce more of those loving feelings. Not to mention, we should always be committed to loving and serving our spouses more intently and passionately.

With that being said, here are 20 ways to love your husband better: Continue reading 20 Ways to Love Your Husband Better

Prayer Request Day

It’s that time again. Time for me to ask all of you how I can be praying for you.

No, I’m not being nosy (well maybe just a tad bit nosy). I really like to know how I can pray for each of you, what God is doing, has done, and is yet to do in your lives.

I commit that for every one who leaves a comment sharing a prayer request, I will pray for your need. I love praying for you. It’s one small way for me to show my appreciation for the many ways you all continually bless me.

And if you would be so kind, I will share my prayer needs, and humbly ask you to pray for me, as well.

Here goes:

I’ve been having some doubt lately. Doubt about God’s goodness towards me. Doubt about His love for me. Doubt about whether or not I can keep going like I’ve been going (sorry for being vague on this one, but there is a post to soon follow).

Also, I tired and not like a little tired. I’m exhausted. I haven’t slept all the way through the night, uninterrupted in about 9 months. Most days I feel like a zombie at best.

So would you please pray for me? Pray for my questions. Pray for my faith and my hope to swell. And pray for rest, real rest, to find me.

Okay, now it’s your turn. How can I pray for YOU? You can be as specific or as vague as you’d like. But please feel comfortable. This is a community…and more than that, we’re family.

What do YOU need prayer for? I’m all ears…

The Best “No” I Ever Got

“No” is one of the first words kids learn. They can’t communicate fully. They can’t state their opinions or desires yet, but you can sure bet they know how to let out a resounding “No!” when necessary.

Of course, as adults, we don’t like hearing “no.” I personally, would much rather have my life filled with “yeses.” Yes, you can Nicole. Sure, Nicole. But as anyone who has followed the Lord for any period of time can tell you, God is not a yes-man.

He’s very often a wait-and-see-man. He is also, when needed, a no-man.

{sigh} I know His “no’s” all too well. When you hear them for the first time, they sting, or they hurt, or they make me want to pull away from Him and retreat. But more and more, I am able to look back at the “no’s” God has given me and realize they were the best thing for me.

Sometimes the best “no’s” don’t come directly from God, but rather through another person or circumstance. I have three “no’s” that, looking back, I realize were God’s protection and provision. Yes, they sucked at the time, but time revealed their purpose. Continue reading The Best “No” I Ever Got

That’s Why We Pray…

Does anyone else remember the all-too-catchy, soft rap song “That’s Why We Pray,” by MC Hammer? Don’t tell me you didn’t slide across your kitchen floor in your Hammer pants. Just me? Um, okay, this is awkward.

Anyway, I ran across this video the other day and I had to laugh. It’s pretty true, at least for me, some days.

Day in the Prayer Life of Joe Christian from The Summit Church on Vimeo.

Why is it that, for many of us, praying is hum-drum, squeezed in, get it over with, and perfunctory? Although, before I had children I prayed like “Joe Christian” all the time. But having no time to yourself and limited time to sit alone with God actually forced me to pray more. Go figure.

Because, the thing with prayer, I’ve found, is that you can do it almost anytime. I can pray while washing dishes. I can pray while cooking dinner. I can pray while feeding a baby in the middle of the night. It seems that as my life has become busier and more hectic, the more I have found ways to converse with God.

I also made a promise to myself that whenever I say I’m going to pray for something, I actually do (or I try very hard to do so). I never want to be the flaky Christian who says “Oh, I’ll be praying for you,” to someone only to walk away and never think twice about it. Once I committed to praying for the people God brings into my life, the more fruitful, fulfilling, and rich my prayer life became.

Sure, I still have some not so stellar days of talking (or should I say, not talking) to God–days where I resemble the guy in the video. But, I’m getting better, with each and every busy day.

So, how’s your prayer life? When do you find time to pray? When do you find you are the most distracted from talking to God?

Questions About Jesus

There is so much to know about Jesus, so much more than we could ever know. The scriptures, for all of their accounts and stories of Christ, only capture but a sliver of His Personhood.

He is infinite. He is immeasurable.

And yet, I so often wonder about Him, as a boy, as a young man, as the Lamb. I wonder about His humanity, instead of always trying to grapple with His divinity.

I imagine Him as a child hiding behind His mother’s skirt. I picture Him in fields, running alongside His brothers being soaked in the sunlight. I see Him laying down to bed, praying a prayer to His Father–a prayer filled with gratitude and intimacy.

Of course, while there is so much more to know of Him, we have to be content with the little details we hold now, knowing too that His work on the cross is neither tarnished nor undermined by our lack of details regarding His life.

Yet, still I wonder…

Continue reading Questions About Jesus