My View on Women’s Roles

I had no intention of writing this. It never crossed my mind. Then Sarah’s book hit the blogosphere, and then Ally wrote a post, and my friends linked to this post on Facebook, and I read through Rachel’s old posts.

To be honest, part of the reason I have pretty much avoided writing about this subject is because I have very little desire to debate others about the role of women in the church. Not because I think I’m right or I’ve landed on some eternal truth, but because I often find discussions such as these to be rather fruitless and distracting. Fruitless in that they do not advance the Kingdom and distracting in that they take our eyes, however briefly, off of Jesus Christ as our Head.

However, I’ve had people email me over my three years of blogging with greetings that begin with “As a fellow complementarian…” Or “As another like-minded egalitarian…” These emails make me laugh because never once have I ever referred to myself as either of these titles, nor would I ever.

But, what happens when you have a blog is that people assume they know you. They assume they’ve got you all figured out. If you write about your marriage a few times, they wrongly believe they have been given a full and clear look into its intricacies and intimacies. One post about my sex life a night in my bedroom does not make. Sorry.

My Own Marriage

So what does my marriage look like? Perhaps that’s a good place to start. Continue reading My View on Women’s Roles

I’m Not Roadkill

I have a confession to make and it ain’t pretty. In fact, I’m a little embarrassed to tell you. {sigh} Here goes…

I’m insecure.

It makes me squirm a little just to write it. But it’s true. I am insecure.

Big deal, you might be thinking, considering each and every human being on the planet is probably insecure about something. I know, I’m not unique or special, but here’s why my insecurity really sucks…

…because no one knows (I mean, they do now since I just announced it on a blog). People around me assume that I have my ‘ish together. My hair is done, my house is clean, my kids are well-dressed, my marriage rocks. And basically, those are the things people take inventory of when deciding if someone has it together or not.

Oh, well, she’s not disheveled or drunk, so yeah…she’s good.

But, I’m not so good. Actually, lately, I’ve been bad. Actually, actually, I’ve been sad. I don’t discount post-pregnancy hormone shifts that wildly vary from me feeling like crying to me feeling like screaming are contributing, but it’s more than that… Continue reading I’m Not Roadkill

Why My Church Rarely Does “Prayer Requests”

Ah, the prayer request. The quintessential Christian experience–sitting around in a circle, sharing often benign, usually safe, terribly tame “prayer requests” with one another.

They usually sound something like this: “I really need a new job or a pay raise. So pray for that please.” Or “My fiance and I are trying to figure out when to get married. Please pray that God would tell us.”

(Let me also preface this post by stating that I am not anti-prayer request. of course not. I have been apart of many groups, be it Bible studies or women’s groups where prayer requests were a welcome and important part of gathering. But God has also shown me something different…)

It’s funny because after becoming a believer, I just went right along with the whole “prayer request” model. I didn’t know any differently. I certainly didn’t know any better. Why would I? Except that when I look in scripture I see no prayer request like model. Now, I’m not one of those people who says “If it ain’t in the Bible, don’t do it.” Please, no. The Bible isn’t exhaustive because God is an infinite God. I don’t try to squeeze Him into a few hundred pages.

All that to say, just because prayer requests aren’t in there, doesn’t mean scripture says nothing about prayer, in general. It says a lot about prayer in fact. But, don’t worry I’m not about to give you an overview of what the Bible says about prayer (zzzzzzz….).

What I am going to give you, however, is a glimpse into how my church family prays for one another which does not usually include prayer requests. Hopefully, you be encouraged to read about another way to pray. Continue reading Why My Church Rarely Does “Prayer Requests”

Are There Degrees of Sin?

I can’t count the number of times I have heard a Christian say something along the lines of, “Well, sin is sin. God sees all sin the same.”

Really? Does He, really? God sees all sin the same?

Do you believe that? Because, I, for one, have a hard time believing that someone stealing a candy bar is the equivalent of murdering an innocent person, in God’s eyes.

The arguement that the two are identical in their weight and nature, “sin is sin,” flies in the face of God’s character. Nowhere in scripture do we see God acting this out. If anything, we see the opposite.

Jesus actually gives us quite a few references to degrees of sin. The following two passages refer specifically to a greater degree of punishment: Continue reading Are There Degrees of Sin?

Is Prophecy for Today?

Phew, okay. Here we go…

Yesterday, I promised that I would tackle the issue of prophecy. Is it for today? If so, how? Many of you had a lot of good questions, some of which had consistent themes. I’ll try to address as many of those questions as I can, but remember, this is just a blog post. Any remaining questions you have, I’ve started a thread on my Facebook page to discuss this very topic–feel free to comment here or there.

As Robert Staniford pointed out in the comments yesterday, Paul exhorted the church in 1 Thessalonians 5:

Do not quench the Spirit; do not despise prophetic utterances. But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good;

Sadly, though, much of the American church has done exactly this, despising prophecy today. They’ve thrown out the baby with the bathwater, so to speak. Of course, there are instances of false prophesy. That’s why Paul encourages the church to carefully examine the words. Further, he tells us to “hold fast” to the good.

So how do we know what’s good? Continue reading Is Prophecy for Today?

The Scariest Word in the Bible

I was trying to remember if I had ever heard the word “prophetic” preached from the pulpit during my first fews years of being a believer. Looking back, I don’t think I had.

I attended a church, as young Christian, that was a bit charismatic (if there is such a thing). Some people spoke in tongues and some people had “words from the Lord.” But no one was walking around calling themselves prophets or their “words from the Lord” prophetic.

Fast forward 8 years and I was attending a Bible church where the pastor admitted from the pulpit that he sorta, kinda, maybe believed in prophecy, but that this congregation would never participate in such things.

Fast forward another few years and I found myself in a wholly prophetic church, where it was not only preached but practiced– A church where hearing from God was the norm, not the other way around.

Having spent a few years in a prophetic community and being a part of one currently, the idea of prophecy has been demystified for me. God has so clearly brought instruction, clarity, and understanding to the idea of prophecy.

I understand (sorta) why people find that word to be so scary. Prophecy. 

There is no other word in scripture I can think of that makes people–all people–quite so uncomfortable. It doesn’t matter what your denomination might be, church background, theology, if you’re male or female–almost everyone gets squirmy when the word “prophecy” is thrown around.

It sounds like the end times. Armageddon. Fortune telling. Mysticism. The Unknown.

I’ve felt a pull to write about this topic. To offer the same sort of demystification that was offered to me. So, starting with tomorrow’s post, I’m going to try as best I can in a blog post, to help bring light to a seemingly scary topic for many Christians.

Meaning, I’d like to hear your questions first. Your questions will help shape tomorrow’s post. So, have at it! Ask me anything. Here’s a few questions to get you thinking…

What do you know or have experienced in terms of the prophetic? What would you like to know? Do you find the topic a bit unsettling?

And for fun…what do YOU think is the scariest word in the Bible?


Transitioning Out of Our Sin

I heard a pastor tell the story once of his brief, albeit, passionate addiction to…video games. That’s right. Everyday, around lunch time, he would escape from his church office and find his way to the local mall.

There, while munching on greasy fries, he would empty his pockets of quarters into his favorite arcade game. He would sometimes spend hours shooting down digital planes before realizing that his lunch hour was long over.

No one knew what this young pastor was off doing, but he felt a strange and powerful pull to keep showing up and dopping in quarters.

After a few weeks of this, the Lord told him that this practice had become an unwelcome distraction and thus, a sin. It sounds silly. I mean, video games, really? But, this hobby had become a bit of an idol and the pastor knew it.

He decided he needed to pray. He needed God’s help. But, as he began to pray about it he was struck with a realization. Continue reading Transitioning Out of Our Sin

Should Christians Judge Others?

I remember the day well. My friend came to me emotionally distraught. She was dating a Godly, cool, funny guy whom she loved very much. She wanted to marry him. She was certain he was the one. But, there was one problem….

…his parents.

This young man’s parents were living in sin. Behind closed doors, they had one of the most abusive, dysfunctional, and broken marriages one could imagine. To their church community, however, they had it all together. They smiled and nodded. Showed up every Sunday. Volunteered for everything. No one around them knew the truth…

…that is except for my sweet friend, who found all of this to be too much when her boyfriend’s parents were asked to teach a marriage class at church. My friend broke.

How could she allow this? How did no one else know? Why was there no one shepherding them?

She came to me asking what she should do. My answer was simple, but it made her uncomfortable. I told her what no one would… Continue reading Should Christians Judge Others?

Why the Church Should Stop Using the Word “Missional”

You may already know that I have a bit of an aversion to Christian-ese and labels. I find that all too often, us Christians are so quick to throw around buzz-words and discuss the next hot-button issue, meanwhile abandoning the issues that really need discussing.

Yesterday, I asked some of my fellow Rejects on Facebook and Twitter to share with me a few of the buzz-words that they too are sick of hearing (as a side note, if you aren’t following me on Facebook or Twitter, what’s up with that? No worries, let’s just kiss and make up).

You all had some precious gems to add to the list of over-used Christian terms, things like:



“doing life”

“love on”


“social justice”

…and my personal favorite, “missional.”

I could spend an entire post writing about each of the terms listed, but “missional,” in particular, really gets under my skin…and for good reason. Continue reading Why the Church Should Stop Using the Word “Missional”

Vanity, Forfeiting, and a Little Thing Called “Baby Weight”

No one ever told me that marriage, and then motherhood, would systematically alter my self-esteem. My husband is amazing, beyond amazing actually. He does not deplete my self-esteem, only adds to it, but upon being married, I realized just how insecure I actually am. Suddenly, the idea of being spiritually tied to someone made me examine every square inch of myself.

Motherhood did something similar. I realized that so much of the junk I thought I was healed of, was actually only laying dormant, like a slumbering bear, ready to be awakened when toddlers colored on walls or when I was acting less than Jesus-like.

And don’t even get me started on the toll that baby weight has taken on my self-esteem. Those extra pounds make me feel more insecure than the pack of “mean girls” I used to avoid in junior high. As of right now, I have an 8 month old baby and yes, my baby weight is still holding on strong.

Then, the other day, I stumbled across an article that I felt confidently was written to encourage women just like me. The author wrote about the need to banish the term “baby weight.” I began reading with great interest and a sliver of hope that when the article was done, I would feel freed from the pressure to lose. But the exact opposite happened and I found myself cursing at my computer screen. Continue reading Vanity, Forfeiting, and a Little Thing Called “Baby Weight”