The Death of My Dream

For a really long time, I wanted to be a magazine editor. Or rather, I wanted to start my own magazine and then declare myself “editor.” It was my life-long dream. Everyone who knew me, knew I would one day be an Editor-in-Chief.

Then something happened. I guess you could just call it “life.”

Life happened, as it tends to do and I was sidetracked from my dream.

The trouble is, that dream had been with me for so long that I almost didn’t know who I was–or who I was supposed to be–without it. For as long as I could remember, I had envisioned myself living in New York City, scraping by, but wildly in love and passionate about my fledgling, yet growing political magazine.

So, when the reality that this little dream would probably never actually become reality itself set in, I was shaken. Continue reading The Death of My Dream

Top 10 Ways to Not Be a Jerk

I’m just finishing up a little vacation with my family and as a result today’s post is from the archives. I hope you don’t mind and I hope you enjoy. P.S. If you want to be a total stalker (shhh, I won’t tell) find me on Instagram as “Modernreject” to see my vacation pics.

I’ve been a bit of a jerk lately. I mean, you may not have noticed. People around me may not have noticed much, but I have. And God has certainly noticed.

My jerkiness has been manifesting itself as pride. Ugh. I hate that word: pride. It is a word that haunts me. Before knowing Christ I was extremely prideful and not in that cocky semi-attractive way. I was prideful in that don’t even think about telling me what to do because I already know it all kind of way.

God has definitely broken me (like a wild stallion) of much of my pride. But, every once in a while, if I’m not careful, it starts to creep back up and finds its way into my relationship with the Lord. He has been patient with me, more than I deserve. I have realized I have been a bit of a jerk recently to those around me and especially to God, thanks to that unattractive yet persistent pride of mine.

Oh, pride is ugly. It is a turn-off. It can even control you but, here are some ways to not let pride take over. Here are 10 ways to not be a jerk: Continue reading Top 10 Ways to Not Be a Jerk

When God Did the Impossible

A lot has been happening within my church body. There have been huge moves of the Spirit and God displaying His power and providence in unexpected ways. (To catch a glimpse of what’s been going on, read this).

So much has been happening that I have had little time to share, simply because there hasn’t been time to keep up. Excitement and hope is springing up within me and all I want is to share it with all of you.

Then, the other day I read a post from Frank Viola, where he asked his readers to share stories–scratch that—testimonies of God’s power and faithfulness.

So, today I am totally, completely, %100 stealing that idea from Viola and asking you to do the same. I can’t share everything with all of you right now, but I can certainly be encouraged and lifted up by you sharing about God’s power in your own life. More than that, we can be edified by one another.

The Questions: What has God done in your own life, or those you know, that was a clear answer to prayer and His power displayed? Has He healed someone? Resurrected a marriage? Brought a clear answer to a seemingly hopeless situation?

When has God performed a miracle? Made the impossible possible? What is the story of God’s faithfulness that you stand upon? When He showed up for you in a big way….

May our testimonies be a witness to those yet to know the Lord and may our own faith be bolstered in reading one another’s answers.

Your Dream Must Die

So, lately my church family has been talking a lot about our “wish-dreams.” Our what-the-whats, you may be asking.

Our wish-dreams.

What’s a wish-dream? I know, it sounds like some sort of hippy-dippy, new-age malarkey, but it is so not. The term “wish-dream” was coined by Dietrich Bonhoeffer and has proven to be one of the most challenging ideas to my faith in a very long time.

A few weeks back, the consistently awesome Frank Viola, posted an excerpt of Bonhoeffer’s explanation of a wish-dream (if you have time, I encourage you to read the full excerpt. It is just too good not to). Many of those in my church family read it and we began sharing with one another our own wish-dreams.

So what is a wish-dream already? It’s definitely not what might assume…. Continue reading Your Dream Must Die

I Am a Prodigal Daughter

Most of us who have been in the church for any amount of time have read the story of the prodigal son.  A young man, sets out on his own, only to squander his inheritance, forcing him to return to his father’s home, broken and penniless.We have perhaps even heard a few sermons preached on this parable. And from time to time, we may have even heard others (or even ourselves) refer to people we know as “prodigals.”

What we usually mean when we say this, is that so-and-so had walked away from Lord, but has now returned. They came back to the Lord, just like the son who returned home in the parable Jesus spoke.

I used the word prodigal from time to time and I’m embarrassed to admit, I didn’t really know what it meant. I assumed I knew and that was enough. Until one day, I heard a wiser older Christian in my life explain that when you run across a word in scripture that you don’t know, you should find a dictionary and look it up.

How novel, I thought. How very elementary school.

But one day, when reading my Bible, I found myself at the story of the prodigal son. Of course, the word “prodigal” isn’t actually used in scripture, but I suddenly had the idea to find that oh-so-childish-dictionary.

I was surprised to find that the word “prodigal” actually has nothing to do with the concept of returning or coming back to anywhere. In fact, it means something different all together.

But what is perhaps even more surprising, is that the real definition of “prodigal” did apply to me. I was a prodigal daughter and all that time, I had had no idea.

I was a prodigal daughter because just like the definition says, I was: Continue reading I Am a Prodigal Daughter

This Jesus Of Nazareth…

“This Jesus of Nazareth without money and arms, conquered more millions than Alexander, Caesar, Muhammad and Napoleon; without science and learning, He shed more light on matters human and divine than all philosophers and scholars combined; without the eloquence of schools, He spoke such words of life as were never spoke before or since and produced effects which lie beyond the reach of orator poet; without writing a single line, He set more pens in motion and furnished themes for more sermons, orations, discussions, learned volumes, works of art and songs of praise than the whole army of great men of ancient and modern times.” ― John Schaff

He Is.


This Jesus of Nazareth….

What from this quote, stands out to you? Which aspects of Jesus do you find the most wonderful? Likewise, which do you most struggle to grasp or embrace?

True and Better Jesus

I’ve watched this video quite a few times now, and each time I get something new out of it. It is a perspective I had never really considered before. If you have time, please watch it twice.

Everything points to Christ…

What are you thoughts after watching this video? Which “true and better” Jesus was a new idea to you? If you had to choose, which are you most thankful for?

Thanks to Antwuan Malone for sharing this with me.

I’m No Movie Star

Today’s post is part of a blog series sponsored by Prodigal Magazine, which seeks to answer the question: What Does it Mean to Live a Good Story? I’m honored to take part and hope that you will visit some of the other talented and gifted bloggers participating, as well.

I suppose I wasn’t very different from most other teenagers I knew. I wasn’t concerned with being good, so much as fitting in, which showed itself in my willingness to drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, and have sex with my boyfriend. I never felt good about these choices, but they brought me happiness…or rather, acceptance.

Like any 16 year-old, I was consumed with myself. Teenagers are notoriously self-centered and I was no exception. My story was all about me. The story I lived to share, and longed to share, was my own. If my life was a movie (and what 16 year old doesn’t on some level believe their life actually is a movie), I was the star. It was my name I desired to see up in lights.

Forget Angelina, Charlize, Reese. I was the main character of my own film. It was a blockbuster, written by, directed by, and starring me.

I remember how the need for attention would swell up inside of me. I remember how I would position myself, negotiate situations so that I might fall into the limelight. I loved the feeling of walking into a room and people taking notice. Looking back, I’m ashamed to admit that I lived for that kind of adoration.

But, one month shy of my 17th birthday, I met the Man who would begin to tell me an entirely different story. Continue reading I’m No Movie Star

Gold Stars and Performing for God

Today’s guest post is from Malisa Price, a long time reader and member of the Modern Reject community. Malisa has a heart to serve God and also has a blog of her own. I can easily relate to her post today and hope that it leaves you as encouraged and comforted, as it did me.

When Nicole wrote about not liking women’s ministry (gatherings, retreats, teas, etc.), I was doing a happy dance and celebratory hand-waving. I’m sure I looked like a nutty person, but I was so relieved that she felt like me.

I recently, went to a women’s retreat. I have been on retreats before, but this was the first one I have gone to that was paid for out of my own pocket. This time felt different because I had a time and financial investment.

I don’t know what actually possessed me to sign up for the weekend getaway. I like being home with my hubster, eating the meals I make, and sleeping in my nice bed. But, I think it was the quiet voice of Jesus calling me, “Come Malisa, experience more of what I have for you. I want to spend time with you and get to know you better.” Shockingly, I signed up.

In doing so, I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I allowed myself to be a follower rather than the leader. I allowed myself to be out of control and go with the flow. Continue reading Gold Stars and Performing for God

27 Ways God Has Blessed Me

Ever feel like you don’t have much to be thankful for or that thankfulness is not flowing freely from you? Well, I decided to sit down and write out 27 ways God has blessed me (27 just seemed like a nice number).

I figured, for starters, it would shut me up and prevent me from whining or complaining, thinking that God really hasn’t done that much for me. Secondly, I would be forced to remember all that He has done, which is infinitely more than 27 things…and that alone is humbling and challenging.

So here are 27 ways God has blessed me… Continue reading 27 Ways God Has Blessed Me