9 Things Your Pastor Wants to Say to You, but Won't

Today’s guest post is from Darrell Vesterfelt whose blog is called This is Me Thinking. Darrell blogs about blogging, the creative process, and its relationship to the church. He also happens to be a pastor. I am also guest posting over at his blog about the “affair” I once had. Check it out.

Growing up a lot of little boys have heroes they look up to.  Whether it is a famous athlete or their favorite musician, most young boys idolize someone, wanting to be like them when they grow up.  For me, it was neither an athlete nor musician; it was my pastor.

I started volunteering at my church (willingly) in my teenage years.  It was during that time that I decided that I wanted to be a pastor. Deciding on post-high school education, I applied for schools where I could study formal church ministry.  I was accepted into a school in Minnesota where I studied Church Ministries for four years.  While in Minnesota, pursuing that degree I accepted several staff leadership positions at churches in the area.  Two months ago, I accepted my first official job as a pastor at a church plant in Palm Beach Gardens, FL called Shoreline Church.

In all these years of experience with the church, I have learned an awful lot about being a pastor.  First of all there is a lot more responsibility, then I initially realized.  I also realized that even though pastors generally have a lot to say, and aren’t afraid to spend a lot of time talking about the things they believe in, there are a lot of things that a pastor wants to say but cannot without the scrutiny from their members.

Here are nine things that your pastor wants to say, but might not ever tell you (and maybe should): Continue reading 9 Things Your Pastor Wants to Say to You, but Won't

10 Ways to Tell if You are a Snob

I’m a snob. I admit it. I dabble in snobbery. I know it’s not always the best course of action and can often lead to awkward social situations and even hurt feelings.

My intentions are never to hurt anyone’s feelings. Truly. I just happen to be particular. I prefer things a certain ways. I have opinions on just about everything, from the clothes people wear (or I wear), to movies, to trends, to politics. I’m a bit of a church snob too, in that, I know what I like and don’t like in  a church, for example.

What some people would call snobbery, I call being opinionated and stating your preferences. And as long as it is done so with an air of humility and with the understanding that you can’t take anything to seriously, I say bring on the snob.

Now you might be asking yourself…”Am I a snob too?” “How would I know?” “What does a snob look like?”


Well here are 10 ways too tell if you too might be a bit of a snob…(go ahead, I know you’re curious) Continue reading 10 Ways to Tell if You are a Snob

My Biggest Mistake as a Christian

I had worked with Kate at a restaurant waiting tables. We had classes together in college. We were even lab partners in biology.

Our friendship grew as we spent more and more time together. She shared with me about her boyfriend drama. I shared with her about church and God.

She quickly knew I was a Christian. Slowly, she showed more and more interest in this “church thing.” Before I knew it, Kate was joining me for my Thursday night college church group. She sat crying during service one night.

She began asking pointed questions about Jesus and salvation. Her own salvation seemed eminent. But then I messed up the whole darn thing and made one the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made as a Christian. Continue reading My Biggest Mistake as a Christian

7 Things God Hates

I was casually flipping through the Bible the other day, looking for something interesting to read (you know, as if the whole Bible isn’t totally interesting).

I found myself in Proverbs, not my favorite book of the Bible, mind you, but I saw the words “There are six things that the LORD hates, seven that are an abomination to him…”

Wait. Say what? 7 things God hates. It seems that this list had escaped me. Perhaps you already know this list. Perhaps you are more spiritually astute than me.

But let me just say, this is quite the list. I did a little self-inventory against this list and, I’m not gonna lie, it stung a bit. Care to join me?

Here’s what Proverbs actually says: Continue reading 7 Things God Hates

Theological Ninja or Sucker?

Today’s post is my contribution to the Rally to Restore Unity hosted by Rachel Held Evans. Our goal is to end “flippant dismissals” and raise money for Charity Water while we are at it.

When I first met Tim, I was 23 and searching for a new church–a place I could call home. Tim came off a bit weird to me at first. To call him unconventional would be an understatement.

He was loud, gregarious, politically incorrect, and even mildly inappropriate (according to Christian standards). He even offended me a few times.

This guy is the youth and college pastor,” I wondered? Really? Uh, okay…

It wouldn’t be long before my judgmental eye-rolls and deep sighs would be challenged. It wasn’t long before God gave me the proverbial Holy Spirit smack down. Continue reading Theological Ninja or Sucker?

The Mediocre Evangelist

The Mediocre Evangelist

This post is from the archives and is one of my favorites.

Evangelism is one of those Christian words we throw around so easily and casually. I personally don’t like the word. “Go evangelize!” It kinda freaks me out. I envision myself standing on a street corner wearing a sandwich board while holding a megaphone shouting, “Sinner!” at the top of my lungs. Not a pretty picture. Not a loving picture. Not a picture I’d ever like to see.

But somewhere between street corner evangelism and Christ’s command to go out and make disciples, we have lost the true meaning of evangelism. We have replaced what should be sharing the Good News with a somewhat sad and pathetic alternative. Instead of actually sharing the Gospel, we do something else and hope that it is enough.

What is it we do instead of actually evangelizing?

Continue reading The Mediocre Evangelist

Top 5 Reasons to Skip College

This post is from the archives and it’s really good and you should totally read it.

I attended college, but I’m not quite sure why. In America, many young high school juniors and seniors begin the search early for the perfect college. They fill out their applications, write their essays, attend their interviews, all in the quest for…

For what? A guaranteed salary upon college graduation? A better life? Or a cushier life? Power? Position? Prestige?

After graduating college, I wondered what I had really learned in class anyway? Maybe you’re like me and are wondering if you should skip college? Continue reading Top 5 Reasons to Skip College

Why I Don't Like Talking About the Fact that I'm Black

Over the last few weeks, I have been feeling this pull, push, nudge to start writing about race–as in skin color. I have avoided this topic entirely on Modern Reject, except for one small mention here and there.

Since I’m no wallflower and I also don’t stray away from a bit of controversy, I haven’t been able to figure out why I absolutely don’t want to write about race.

My husband asked me point blank the other day: “Why don’t you want to write about being black?” My answer was surprising. Continue reading Why I Don't Like Talking About the Fact that I'm Black

Rob Bell on MSNBC: Truth or Something Else?

I will admit, I have not read Rob Bell’s new book Love Wins: Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived. So, I am not going to try and guess, or accuse him of anything in regards to his book. If you have yet to read about the controversy surrounding this book, here is a great article.

Love Wins has led many in the Christian community to question whether or not the wildly popular pastor Bell, is in fact,  a universalist. I’m not going to guess.

Bell’s recent  interview on MSNBC, however, begs the question. I, personally, take great issue with his answers or lack thereof. I thought I’d throw it out to you all. What do you think of his answers? How would you have answered the questions posed? Or did you feel he answered well?

My Homeschooling Nightmare

My daughter is going to turn 5 in a few short months. Yesterday she placed an enormous, glittery, pink , princess, backpack on herself and loaded it up with junk. She said, “I’m going on vacation,” but all I could think of was her eventual first day of kindergarten.

She is going to need to attend school and that scares me, for a few reasons. For one thing, I don’t want her to get bigger. I’d like to invent a child “pause” button for both of my children.

Secondly, the decision of where to send your child to school can be a daunting one.  I have friends who have struggled, prayed, been put on waiting lists, been rejected by schools they liked, only to start  all over again.

There is also the issue, however, of homeschooling. This word used to sound like a dirty word to me. Homeschool. Still sends shivers down my spine. My husband and his brother were both homeschooled through high school and all things considered, are two of the most normal, healthy, Godly guys I know.

But I’m no homeschooling mom. I imagine all homeschooling moms wear denim jumpers and have hair down to my butt. I don’t have a baseball team worth of children or drive a mini-van. Do those things automatically disqualify me or is there more to this homeschooling thing than I assume? Continue reading My Homeschooling Nightmare