People write me about one topic more than other: Sex. It seems that many of us aren’t having the kind of sex life we imagined we would once we were married. It seems that more of us are having a lot less sex than we ever expected.
I’ve had husbands write me confessing that they haven’t slept with their wives in a year, after having only been married for 3. I’ve had wives email me, explaining that they simply don’t feel sexual and have therefore just “let sex go.”
But where is the outcry? Where are the calls for healthier, better, and more realistic expectations for sex in marriage? I, for one, am grieved when I think of how many married couples aren’t, well, getting any.
Instead of people writing about and talking about sex in marriage from a practical standpoint, what we find more of is unhelpful banter on the subject. I recently read a post over at Stephanie Druy’s blog Stuff Christian Culture Likes (a blog I happen to thoroughly enjoy, by the way) that says scheduling sex, for instance, is a bad thing that far too many Evangelicals have latched onto in marriage.
I have to say…I couldn’t disagree more.
I’d argue that scheduling sex is one way of ensuring a great sex life. Intrigued? I bet you are. Read on, my friend, read on…
The last few weeks I haven’t quite been myself. Well, maybe I have been, since I guess you’re almost always yourself. But what I mean is, I’ve been unmotivated, pretty stinkin’ tired, and uninterested in blogging with my usual passion and excitement (you may have noticed).
I’m sure it’s just a phase. I think. I hope anyway.
But, beyond feeling a little out of sorts, my days have been filled with laughing, screaming, impossibly wild, hopelessly wonderful, all-too-lovable children.
Life doesn’t get much better, even when life is sucking a bit.
Today, I’m posing one titillating, stirring, mind-bending (or if I’m being honest semi-mediocre) question for you to mull over and answer. Don’t leave me hanging.
How do you personally feel about tattoos? Do you have any? Why or why not?
The other day, while driving around on a gorgeous Spring day here in Arizona, my kids were observing the sites out of their car windows. Spotting birds, mountains, beautiful houses, trees. My son then said, “It’s bad to cut down trees. We don’t cut down trees, huh mommy?”
My husband looked at me and whispered, “Lorax,” referring to the recent Dr. Seuss movie that our kids had seen with him.
I began to explain to them that we certainly had to cut down some trees. We needed trees. We use paper products from trees every single day. But I also explained that it is our responsibility to plant more trees and find other ways of replacing trees (you know, what people refer to as “sustainable resources”).
But after this brief little discussion with my kids, I got to thinking about the church and being green. Sure, I’ve pondered this subject before. I’ve clenched my jaw and gritted my teeth as Christians talk about going green, being green, and staying green.
On my good days, I am happy and smiling. On my bad days, I am grumpy, short-tempered, and irritable.
On my good days, I feel content and at peace, thanking God for the life he has given me and the ways in which He has provided. On my bad days, I am restless, bored, and daydreaming of escaping to a place where I can just be alone.
On my good days, I am confident. On my bad days, I feel incompetent.
On my good days, I trust Him, listen to Him, and am honest with Him. On my bad days, I doubt Him, yell at Him, and am honest with Him.
Happy Friday. I was so looking forward to this weekend because I have lots of fun things planned–a lecture on mid-century homes with a dear friend, time with out-of-town-friends, brunch at one of my fave restaurants, and some good ol’ R&R.
But, before I slip away for the weekend, here’s some of my favorite picks from the week:
What Was He Thinking? Dads are funny and they parent very differently from moms. As my husband always says, “Good thing kids have moms and not just dads, or they’d be dead.” This blog is perhaps living proof of that sentiment: What Was Daddy Thinking. It is a collection of pictures of little children and infants in precarious and questionable situations, thanks to…you guessed it, their dads.
Protection for the Atheist. I read an interesting post from Daylight Atheism a few days ago called Creating a Safe Harbor for Nonbelievers, which discusses where the nonbeliever can go for support once they have quit believing in God. It was an interesting and eye-opening read.
Trayvon and Justice. I’ve been following the Trayvon Martin tragedy, like so many Americans. I had for a brief moment considered writing a post on the issue, but decided against it. My view is unpopular and it was not something I did not want to tackle here on Modern Reject. However, this post from the Wall Street Journal by Juan Williams is exactly what I would have liked to have written on the issue, although I doubt I could have said it as eloquently and intelligently as Williams.
Self-Promotion is a Good Thing. Donald Miller wrote a great piece on why self-promotion is neither arrogant nor unholy. I have struggled with “promoting” myself and this blog, at times. It feels unnatural, but the points he makes are excellent ones and very encouraging.
A Big Box of Fun. Have you ever heard of Birch Box? It is a fantasy item for product and make-up junkies like me. Basically, you spend $11 a month and they send you a box of fun goodies. I’m in. There is also a similar product for moms called Bluum. And don’t worry guys, I didn’t forget about you. Men have the awesomely titled Manpacks, filled with things like razors, socks, and cologne.
There’s my round-up of Friday Findings. I hope you enjoy.
Now what made your list for the week? Anything worth sharing? And got any plans for the weekend? I’d love to hear!
Happy Wednesday, which also means happy He Said/She Said day. Today is the day we diverge from our usual broadcasting to talk about men and women.
In my time writing here on Modern Reject, one thing that people thank me for more than almost anything else is for talking so openly about my marriage. And more than that, people always thank me for painting a picture of a healthy, fun, rockin’, Christ-centered marriage.
I mean, occasionally I have someone tell me to quit bragging and sounding so prideful because, hey, not every marriage is awesome and I’m just pouring salt on others’ wounds. For this, I apologize, if this is the case. I never want to sound prideful, but truth be told, I am proud of my marriage.
I chose wisely and God hooked me up with an amazing man. Today, I thought I’d share the story of how I actually met my husband. Now, I know some might not be interested, but I also know that others will. I’m sharing this because I love to hear people’s love stories. They inspire me, encourage me, and bring a smile to my face.
I hope the story of how I met my husband does the same. I hope it inspires people to look for love and seek marriage. Why? Because a good–heck–amazing marriage is possible. Jonathan and I are proof.
So many of us worship a different God. Oh, it’s still the God of Jacob. The God of Abraham. Yahweh.
Jesus Christ.
But, as my days in salvation go on, I have seen and met so many hopeless Christians. So many people, who are complacent in their faith. Lukewarm. Vacillating.
I have seen so many people who perhaps intellectually know God. They even love God, but they have never once experienced the power of God.
My hearts breaks when I consider this. I feel pangs in my chest when I grasp the fact that so many of my brethren have never, not once, felt His presence, been swept up in His Spirit, had a supernatural experience with the Living God.
A couple of months ago, I had the chance to be interviewed by Drew Marshall on his radio show. A few weeks prior to the actual radio spot, Drew and I shared a phone conversation. He was wanting to get to know me. Who is this Modern Reject chick and what is she all about?
He asked me if I am Donald Miller-ite. “No,” I answered flatly. “Well then, do you worship at the altar of Beth Moore,” he asked? “Um, not exactly,” I responded.
He paused for a moment and then told me very bluntly that he needed to know who I identified with in the Christian culture if he was to “get to know” me. I scrambled for a second. I hate questions like this. What authors I read is one thing. What Christian leaders I respect is another…
…but who do I worship? Who do I identify with my faith? I struggled to answer and then said the only thing I could…Continue reading God Loves Copycats
I could hardly wait for Friday to get here this week because I found so many great things to share here for Friday Findings. So let’s not dilly dally (does that expression make me sound like a grandma?).
Churches say funny things. I love funny church signs. There are entire websites dedicated to funny church signs. But this week, I ran across this post from Pastors.com that lists 44 Funny Church Bulletin Bloopers. I was laughing out loud. I found #12, #22, and #25 especially hilarious.
Divorce and Children. On a more serious note, Alece Ronzino of Grit and Glory fame wrote a post last week on a Deeper Story about divorce. More specifically, she wrote about children and divorce and the question so many people ask her following her own divorce. It is honest, powerful, and convicting.
More Happiness. Yesterday, I shared a post here on MR asking whether or not God alone should make us happy. Well, once again the man who inspired my post, Dennis Prager, is tackling the question of happiness. He asks who the truly happy people are in life and how got to be so happy. It’s a great article.
Movie Geek-dom. If you love movies, then you might have noticed that many considered 2011 to be one of the worst years for movies in perhaps a decade. Yeah, it was that abysmal. But never fear because 2012, is proving to be perhaps one of the best years for movies since 1999. That’s right, there is a cornucopia of amazing films set to be released this year. Here’s a list of 50 of the most anticipated movies of 201. I cannot wait!
Leaving the Church. This week Rachel Held Evans wrote a post called 15 Reasons I Left the Church. She was surprised by the reaction and amount of comments that followed, both in support and in disagreement. I found myself sympathizing with her 15 reasons. I guess, I too, have technically “left the church.” Although, for vastly different reasons than Rachel. However, I found the post to be a great conversation starter.
Staying in the Church. Rachel’s 15 reasons for leaving the church, spurred on herself and others, to write about why they have actually stayed within the church. One such post, was from a commenter on Rachel’s blog named Jessica that wrote her own response. It is beautiful, powerful, beyond lovely, and inspiring. It is, I imagine, how so many of us feel as we press on in our churches, uncertain if this is what God would have us do. Read the whole thing, but stay for the last paragraph. It is some of the most poignant words regarding the church I have ever read.
And there you have it. A week full of goodness. So what about you? What did you read, discover, geek out over? Share away!
People write me about one topic more than other: Sex. It seems that many of us aren’t having the kind of sex life we imagined we would once we were married. It seems that more of us are having a lot less sex than we ever expected.
