20 Ways to Love Your Husband Better

If you’ve been around here before, you probably know that I love, like luuuurve, my husband. Thing is, this shouldn’t be revelatory news. I mean, us wives should love our husbands.

But stuff happens. Life happens. Kids happen. Exhaustion happens. And before we know it, many of those lovey-dovey feelings fade into the background.

We become more like roommates than spouses. More like buddies than lovers. More like co-parents than two people crazy in love.

So what’s a wife to do? Well, for starters she can figure out ways to love her husband better because doing so can actually produce more of those loving feelings. Not to mention, we should always be committed to loving and serving our spouses more intently and passionately.

With that being said, here are 20 ways to love your husband better:

1. Pray. Oh so obvious, but sadly, I admit I personally don’t do this enough.

2. Be interested in his work. Most likely your husband spends hours a day working. It shows great love when his wife shows interest in that work.

3. Share hobbies. If he likes to bowl, bowl. If he likes to collect coins, collect coins. If he likes to woodwork, well you might be out of luck. And hopefully your man has some cooler hobbies than the ones I mentioned here.

4. Date. I don’t understand why couples get married and quit dating. It is weird to me. Going out on dates should be a part of any healthy marriage.

5. Ditch those kids. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again–get rid of your kids (if you have them) for a night. He will feel loved.

6. Have more sex. Nothing tells a man you love him quite like sex.

7. Feed him, this coming from my husband. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Not sure if this is true, but it’s worth a try.

8. Compliment him. You look so handsome. Mmm…you smell good. Cute butt. Whatever.

9. Discover his love language and speak it!

10. Respect him. This is perhaps one of the most powerful ways wives can show their husbands love. If you need help in learning how to show him more respect, try the Love and Respect ministry.

11. Support his dreams. Don’t be a dream killer. I’m married to an entrepreneur and it would be easy to shoot down his ideas from time to time. Instead, I try to dream alongside of him. It has made all the difference.

12. Make your home worth coming home to. This could entail picking up the house, cooking a delicious dinner, or just being there to greet him with a kiss.

13. Be a hot wife. I might schlep around in sweats when my husband isn’t home, but you better believe that before he walks in that door, I throw on a cute outfit and some lip gloss. Sounds old-fashioned? It is and he loves it (and truth be told, so do I).

14. Flirt. Just like dating, many couples seem to forget or to quick flirting in marriage. But it needn’t be the case. Flirtation can show love in a big way.

15. Brag. Tell your friends, co-workers, family members how great your husband is, all the time. It is easy for women to complain about their husbands, but bragging, not nagging, tells him you love him.

16. Have more sex. Yeah, I already said this one. That’s right.

17. Make him your everyday hero. When my kids ask in a sad little voice why daddy has to go to work…again, I tell them that he is serving our family. He works because he loves us. He goes to work because he is our hero. This message is communicated to my husband, as well.

18. Surprise him. What has he been longing to do? What has he putt off for quite some time? What would he love for you to do for him? Surprise him.

19. Tell him…all the time. You can never say “I love you” too much.

20. Ask him: How can I love you better?

Okay ladies, I know you have some great ideas to add to the list, as well. Let’s hear ’em. How do you love your husband?

18 thoughts on “20 Ways to Love Your Husband Better”

  1. Great, great advice we can put into practice every day. Love it! Something else that stands out to me is love him by deciding not to sweat the small stuff. If you’ll be over it in a day, don’t even mention it to him. I’ve learned how fragile my husband’s ego is, but on the other, I have the ultimate power in building him up and making him feel like superman! I’d rather do that :)

  2. woodworking a rewarding, calorie-burning art form and not restricted to the men-folk. if given the opportunity, give it go. you wont be sorry. just had to put that out there. Great post!

  3. I needed this reminder, Nicole! Thank you for writing it. One I really need to work on is not squelching his dreams. I have a bad habit of thinking about how to get there from here and being too practical. We have started to read a short devotional together and that is really a great way to “grow” spiritually.

  4. iLikey this post.

    the last time i posted on a comment on your blog (last year – i was a single homschooling mom)

    after a year…i am now a married homeschooling missionary mom who moved in hawaii! LOL

    the things that happen in a year. God is so adventurous. thanks for posting this. this newly married newbie could definitely use some tips. and im glad to see that some of the things i’m doing is actually right. ;)

  5. Rachel- I’m a woodworker! LOL Before I was married, I would spend days on end holed up in my garage shop creating and refinishing. I don’t have time to get lost in my projects like that anymore, but I still have about 3 creative irons in the fire at any given time. Nicole, I like your suggestion about supporting their dreams. I don’t dream out loud, so it was kind of confusing to me when we first got married that Dave would matter-of-factly state his desire to do _______ in the future. Because I only really talk about something that I absolutely will accomplish, I would be slightly alarmed at his sometimes ludicrous sounding plans. I would hem and haw and come up with rebuttals to the insanity. After some hurt feelings I actually had to verbalize “Hmm…this is really you just dreaming out loud…not actually wanting to do everything you just said.” It was a big “aha” on both sides and now I just happily and blissfully dream with him, knowing I don’t have to figure out how to make it all happen. He lets me know if it’s something he’s really serious about and we have set and accomplished some awesome goals together.

  6. Go to bed with him at night. I’m bad about remembering to do this. . .but it’s what he likes. . .and I agree with the sex comments. . .it is the glue in a marriage, hands’ down. Ask any unhappy wife or husband when the last time was they had sex. . .yep, see????

  7. I’m a newlywed and so grateful for my husband! It’s been quite the transition from singlehood, Miss Independent to Married hood and Mrs. Dependent at 35. I started getting up with my husband like at 4am. On a normal day that’s when he gets up to go to work, though lately he’s been waiting until 4:30am. I thought it would encourage him. It was hard because I’m not a morning person. At first, I didn’t think it made a difference and he even asked me why I was doing this. I would say cause I want to (but I was so tired). He said I didn’t have to and go back to bed. So I started to get discouraged and frustrated about it and prayed about it. Along with the encouragement of my dear Mother and talking to God, I started getting up with him in the morning, not only that but the thought came to me, why not make his lunch (he would talk about how much food costs on base…and we have food at home..note to self), why not make him breakfast. So I started doing that. As time has gone by, I have realized how beneficial it is for him and also for me. I had time to wash dishes and spend some time with the Lord. There are mornings I’m so tired (that will be interesting if the Lord blesses us to get pregnant)and I have to ask God to give me help and grace. That usually comes in the form of my husband :)

  8. What’s not cool about coin collecting! Great post, would love to also see your 20 ways to love your wife – better.

  9. I love this post, but I feel like the ideas are great, but the specifics are a little antiquated. As more than one woman in this post has said, wood-working is not unique to men! Nor is the wife always the stay-at-home parent, nor the husband always the breadwinner.

    If I could add to the list, I would say that it’s always good to let them have alone time. Time when they’re not expected to do housework, work work, parenting, or anything else. Just give him a night a week or a couple hours each day to do his thing, because he’ll feel so much more sane, and appreciate you so much more for protecting his sanity.

    Another thing is being transparent about your relationships to other men by proactively telling him about your communication to others. Example : you’ve been emailing back and forth with this guy who runs a great blog because you want to do a guest-post swap, and this guy will be in town next week and you want to meet for dinner and discuss a possible collaborative project. My husband and I try to include each other in these kinds of plans, and we try to go together. If we can’t coordinate schedules, at least we know exactly what the other is doing.

    1. Bethany, man the wood working thing is kind of ridiculous at this point. Sheesh. I mean, I’m all for women’s rights, and assume a woman can do anything a man can do, but wood working was not on that list. I have never a met a woman who enjoys this hobby. Apparently all 5 of them read this blog!

      As for this list being antiquated, well, perhaps, but more so I was writing from my own personal experience. I guess I’m old-fashioned since I stay home with my kids and my husband goes to work each day.

      I like your suggestions too. Although, in my marriage, I am the one who needs alone time, not my husband. He is an extrovert and always prefers company. I guess that one just depends on the individuals in the marriage.

      I agree with transparency being key, as well. My husband and I know one another’s email passwords and Twitter account info. Not that we go snooping around each other’s accounts, but there is nothing to hide that way. We always share if we have a lunch date or an email exchange with a member of the opposite sex too. I think it is a healthy and important practice.

  10. This is GREAT stuff, Nicole! So glad you wrote it! If I could add anything, it would be for women to let their husband admire them. As in, don’t be ashamed of your body in front of him. (I’m all for working on our bodies to make them more attractive for our hubby, but when you’re there with him, try not to put yourself down.) Men are naturally inclined to be visual people, so SATISFY that. Ladies, your husband wants to look you over because he finds you sexy… let him!! :)

  11. I like these kind of posts. Fun times! I like the additions from Laura & Bethany, too.
    My big ones that I have learned for my husband are –
    Understanding his introverted nature. Seeing his alone time in the garden as a beautiful part of him and encouraging him in his loves
    Listening to things that are hard, things that make him angry, etc. without always trying to tell him how he should respond or feel. He shares his emotions with me if I don’t shut him down. If I welcome him to share the hard things, he sees I love all of him. Not just my ideal version of him.

    And, I was a woodworking before I got married. I don’t have power tools anymore and 4 young children. So. Not so much right now. But I studied furniture design and building. I was the only girl in my welding class. Nothing wrong with that stuff, my dear. ;) Sanding wood is sexy.

  12. Thank you. I will do my best to keep this in mind and apply them all.. I find those advises very helpful .

  13. The path to a man’s heart isn’t through his stomach, it’s a different organ. You made mention of how to access his heart twice, but a third time would be even more accurate.

  14. Pray? Are you retarded? Praying doesn’t work, it’s one of the most tested supernatural claims and has been thoroughly debunked. ONE PAIR OF HANDS HELPING DOES MORE THAN ALL THE HANDS PRAYING.

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