Category: It’s Love

What it’s Like to be Married to my Husband

A while back, my husband Jonathan, wrote a guest post called “What’s it Like to be Married to Me?” in which he described exactly what being married to me, Nicole, is really like.

Back then I had every intention of surprising Jonathan with a post of my own, telling the world what it’s like being married to him, as well. But, I got busy and I forgot. I dropped the ball and he never received the follow-up post he deserves.

This Saturday, however, happens to be our 6 year anniversary. Hooray! And I thought now would be a great time to tell him (and you, of course) what every day of married life with him feels like.

Grab some tissues. This might get mushy. Being married to my husband is like… Continue reading What it’s Like to be Married to my Husband

In Hot Pursuit: Should Men or Women Pursue?

Women have long held the idea that men are suppose to pursue them. There used to be a time when girls were forbidden–or at the very least, discouraged–from calling a man, let alone asking one out.

Times have changed, however, and many women now feel that it is perfectly acceptable for women to ask out (or *ahem* even chase down) the opposite sex.

But do these same standards apply to Christians? Is it kosher for a single Christian woman to pursue a man or should men always be the pursuer?

For starters, let’s look at God. He is the ultimate pursuer. He comes after us, romances us, and wins us with His love. Likewise, each and every follower of Christ should be in full pursuit of Him first and foremost before they ever worry about pursuing the opposite sex. Okay, now that we got that out of the way…
Continue reading In Hot Pursuit: Should Men or Women Pursue?

Christian Dating: Dos and Dont's

Recently, a few girls I know in their twenties, wanted to talk with me about “being single.” They asked me an array of questions like, “Why do I need to be single? How can I be content while being single? How do I let a guy pursue me?” and so on.

This post could go into a million different directions. The topic of “singledom” is always a hot one, especially in Christian circles. I’d like to hone in on one particular facet of the single Christian life (and save the other stuff for the next two Wednesdays): Dating.

To those who are married, “dating” sounds almost like a four letter word. My skin kinda crawls and I think, “Man, I’m so glad that’s over.” Terrible, right? I mean, I don’t know many Christians who actually enjoy dating. They are so focused on “finding the right one” and “hearing from God” and looking out for “lightning in the sky” that they suck all the fun out of it.

Dating should be fun. Why is it that so many single Christians turn dating into some kind of checklist and interviewing process? Ladies are the worst with the checklist. Here’s a tip girls: if you have a checklist, look it over, count up all those necessary character traits, then crumple it up and chuck it in the trash bin—‘cause that’s where it belongs.

God doesn’t care about your list… Continue reading Christian Dating: Dos and Dont's

Surrendering Your Desire for a Spouse

No, it’s not Wednesday, but today we are gonna talk about dating, marriage, and letting go. Today’s guest post is from the talented and insightful Darrell Vesterfelt. Darrell has appeared on Modern Reject before and I am so glad to have him back once again. Check out his blog This is Me Thinking, where he writes about blogging, the creative process, and its relationship to the church.

Being a single Christian might be one of the most confusing things I have ever had to do. There are so many voices speaking on the subject, telling me to ask more girls on dates or just wait until God shows me “The One.” In the midst of all the opinions I have a hard time figuring out which one is right.

The funny thing is a good portion of the opinions come from other single people. None of us have any idea what we’re doing.

One thing I have learned in the midst of this process in my own life is that I must surrender my desire for a wife to the Lord. But what does this even mean?

What does it mean to surrender my desire for a wife?

  • Does it mean I pretend I don’t have a desire for a future wife?
  • Does it mean I stop talking to girls?
  • Does it mean I date Jesus?

I don’t think it means any of those things. Continue reading Surrendering Your Desire for a Spouse

To My Daughter on Her 5th Birthday

Riley Grace, where do I start? Your birth five years ago marked my life. As my first born, you represent my introduction to motherhood–with all of its tears and confusion. You also represent the beginning of my life as a mom, something I will forever claim.

You, sweet daughter, are the life of the party–any party. And if there isn’t a party, you are determined to either find one or start one. You love people, more than perhaps anyone I know. Even as a baby, you would scan the room for other kids and then yell out in a sweet 9-month-old-voice, “Hi! Hi!”

Riley, you love life and you love being alive. Everyday is wonderful in your eyes and that makes my days more wonderful too.

You also love God, with your whole heart. Before you could even articulate your faith you could say “Jesus” and it seemed that even then you understood who you were speaking of.

God seems real to you in a way that I find both inspiring and intimidating. Continue reading To My Daughter on Her 5th Birthday

Why There's No Such Thing as Sexual Identity

Today’s guest post comes from the marvelous Matt Appling, who is the brain behind the blog The Church of No People. I happen to adore Matt’s blog and wish that mine was as cool as his. Pretty much everything he writes I could steal and use on Modern Reject. It’s that good. So without further ado…

I owed Nicole a guest blog since she blogged for me over the summer. So she cashed in her “IOU one blog post” while she’s recuperating from having a baby.  That’s awesome.  Bravo.

And as I think about that, I think about one thing that exists in our culture, one problem that I think looms bigger than almost anything, one thing that every kid is going to have to deal with.  It also happens to be the reason we’re all here.

Sex.

Geez, we’re obsessed with it.  And ashamed.  And grossed out.  And completely obsessed.  We really have a love-hate relationship with it.

And of all the things we do with sex, this is the one thing I think we mess up more than anything.

Sexual Identity

That phrase bugs the heck out of me.  When did we think of it? Continue reading Why There's No Such Thing as Sexual Identity

Who Has it Easier, Men or Women?

Wednesday is upon us, which means it time to talk about men and women. Shall we…

I’m sure that for many of you, just by reading the title of this post you could come up with a quick and simple answer. You might already feel passionately about this topic.

There are usually those who are certain that men have it easier. Better jobs, higher salary, gray hair is distinguished. There are also those who are convinced that women have it easier: They have sex on their side, can find a man to “take care” of them, and are able to de-board crashed planes first.

I’ve written in the past and asked the question: is it really a man’s world? But today’s question is: who really has it easier, men or women? Continue reading Who Has it Easier, Men or Women?

Should Christians Date without Purpose?


Dating, it seems, has somewhat of a bad rap in the Christian world. I’ve heard people say things like “dating is a waste of time” or “God will bring me the right person at the right time.” I’ve also heard people say that dating is harmful, dangerous even and always leads to sexual sin and immorality.

I have to admit that I find all of this talk confusing. Just because dating as we know it isn’t explicitly outlined in scripture doesn’t mean it’s wrong, does it?

I know some people object to this idea, but I confess that I see dating as a necessary and even healthy process. Dare I say it, I even think it’s okay to date someone while knowing good and well that you are not going to marry them. Sound scandalous?

The real question is, should Christians date without purpose? Well, here’s my own personal story… Continue reading Should Christians Date without Purpose?

The Myth of Soul Mates

The term “soul mates” has been around a very long time.The concept of having one person in all the world with whom you share great love, closeness, and connection (mentally, physically and spiritually) is a notion that has penetrated popular culture.

The ancient Greek philosopher Plato is believed to be the first person to write about an “other half,” the missing person in one’s life. From his concept came the great loves we have grown up reading about: Romeo and Juliet, Tristan and Isolde, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, Ken and Barbie.

The movies are filled with stories of people searching for their one true love and never feeling fulfilled until the moment their soul mate appears. Now, I’m a romantic and I love hearing stories of true love. Hearing about the couple who were engaged on their first date because they “just knew” makes me smile.

But is there really only one person for everyone? Do each of us have a soul mate? Or is it a Hollywood tale of love not rooted in reality? Continue reading The Myth of Soul Mates

To My Son, on His 3rd Birthday

It seems strange that we are back here again, celebrating another one of your birthdays. Didn’t I just watch you turn 2?

But as I look back over the last year, I am overwhelmed by the differences in you. You, my son, are no longer a baby. I guess you already knew that since you remind me so often that you are a “big boy.” I still call you baby though. I can’t help myself.

You were suppose to be my last, but the current baby inside my belly is taking that position. You are instead destined to be the middle child–a role I think God placed you in with great care and consideration.

You will be a magnificent middle child. Why, you ask… Continue reading To My Son, on His 3rd Birthday