Tomorrow is my 5 year wedding anniversary with my husband Jonathan. Can I get a “woot, woot!” It seems like only yesterday we were two young kids crazy-in love, ready to spend forever together. Yet, in other ways, it feels like we have been married 50 years already, especially when we act like some old, married couple.
Ah, marriage. I love it. I love everything about it. I love the companionship, the company, the camaraderie. I even love the fact that I end up spending so much time with someone, which for an introvert like me can be difficult.
God knew what He was doing when He created marriage. He knew the needs we hold and the desires we keep. He designed men and women to be in partnership.
I realized quickly within marriage, though, that it was necessary to have guidelines and boundaries in place, both for the unspoken and the obvious. Jonathan and I talk often about our expectations for marriage and we check in with one another to see how we are doing as spouses. There are certain things we have agreed upon through our conversations that we will never do nor allow to happen within our marriage. Do you have guidelines like that, whether you are married or not? Things you and your spouse have committed to keeping in or keeping out of your marriage?
For those of you who are new around here, you may not have known that I recently ended a brief but hot affair with Tumblr, choosing instead to spend time with my new love, WordPress.
I will be bringing over my top 10 (or so) favorite posts from my Tumblr account to the new Modern Reject site, here. But if you would like to read more and see more of my archives, feel free to peruse my Tumblr page anytime.
This week I have begun to realize just how big my kids are getting. Granted they are only 2 and almost 4, but they are no longer the babies I once held.
I am by no means an overly sentimental type mom. I didn’t cry when they took their first steps or go camera crazy when they rode a tricycle for the first time. Lately, however, I have been feeling nostalgic for the time when they could fit on my lap or in my arms. Maybe it is the fact that I just turned 30. Maybe it is that my little girl turns 4 this month. How did this happen? I was expecting to have so much time. It sounds so cliche but seriously, where did all my time go?
I have been looking over my kids toys and baby clothes, first books, and pages colored in Sunday school. I wish they could stay little forever. Childhood is magical and watching them experience life each day is pretty much as good as it gets. So in the midst of my nostalgia and sappiness, I thought I’d share some of my Favorite (Kid) Things with you this Friday… Continue reading Favorite (Kid) Things
Last Wednesday on He Said/She Said I posed the question: What makes a man worthy of marriage? A lot of you weighed in on the subject, mostly men in fact. I determined that in order for a man to be worthy, he has to actually be a man. Then I listed three qualities that I think make a man a man, man (I love those Old Spice commercials, sorry). This week the question goes out to all the ladies:
What makes a woman worthy of marriage? Is it her good looks? Oh, I sure hope not. Is it her mothering skills? The way she cooks, cleans, or says “Yes, honey”? If so then I am in trouble.
I was mulling over this question. It seemed so much harder for me to answer. I was talking over the topic with my husband and he said this:
Just like men need to be men in order to be worthy of marriage women need to not be men, to be worthy of marriage.
We have all heard the saying: A good man is hard to find. This phrase is sad, but true. A good man is hard to find.
Good woman aren’t much easier to find. It seems that many young men and women today grow up to be anything but. Long gone are the days of men acting like men and women behaving like women. The values that once helped shape a young person into a admirable adult are no longer taught or even acknowledged, values like: honesty, integrity, courage, honor, responsibility, and respect.
Today, culture values values individualism, self-reliance, wealth and material success, education, and a cut-throat drive. In a world teeming with self-absorbed, self-focused individuals it is difficult to find people to befriend let alone marry. And if you are a woman looking to be married, it can be as I said before “hard to find a good man.”
Are you someone’s wife? If you aren’t yet do you hope to one day be someone’s wife? Well, let me ask you this…are you a hot wife? Okay, before you get in a tizzy, let me explain.
Are you a wife who cares about how she looks, for her man, on a day to day basis? Now, I am certainly not trying to re-enter the 1950’s and ask women to be cook a roast in a dress, heels, and full hair and makeup. But, I am suggesting that a little bit (of dress, hair, and makeup) goes a long way.
Here’s the thing, I know life gets busy. I have a 5 year old, 3 year old, and a 6 month old. Nuff said. They leave me little time to do much of anything besides take care of them. But looking good for your man should be a priority.
I am not suggesting either that you should look “hot” for all men. No way, just yours. And I am also not implying that you need to be “hot” in accordance to the worlds standards. You should try and be hot for your guy and your guy only, in the ways that are pleasing to him.This is not about whether you are a size 2 or a size 12. It’s about how to bring out and emphasize your best assets and bless your husband in the process.
If my husband hung out in sweats all day and rarely showered and didn’t care if he had shaved or not, I wouldn’t be too excited. Same goes for women and their appearance. If you got dolled up before marriage and then stopped after marriage, well, my dear, that is false advertising. Marriage is not an excuse to “get comfortable” and “let yourself go.” If ever there were a time to exert effort and place priority upon looking good, it is within marriage. Marriages are fragile enough in a world plagued with divorce. Attraction is a key component to a healthy marriage and sex life.
Staying attractive to our husbands and showing them we care is a simple process. I don’t spend the whole day gussied up. But an hour or so before my man comes home, I comb my hair, throw on some make up, and maybe spritz some perfume. I also smile and kiss him as he walks in the door. Yes, he’s seen me grungy and sweaty, grumpy, and tired. But I try to make that the exception, not the rule.
It may sound like I’m slapping feminists in the face, and that’s okay. I’m a Christian before being a feminist. I’m a wife before being an activist. God created women to be beautiful (check out Song of Solomon) and I like getting pretty for my man…and wouldn’t you know, he likes it too.
Do you think women should make an effort to look good? Do you agree or disagree with me?