Lies and Myths Archives - Page 2 of 12

Sex is Yours

My daughter is six-years old and full of questions. Why, how, huh? All day long. In her questioning, she has inevitably asked me about sex. When I was hugely round and very pregnant with her youngest brother, she asked how he came to be in my belly and how he would make his way out.

After giving the most scientific and precise answer I could, I ended with “Does that make sense?” To which she paused and replied, “Not really.”

Fair enough.

I fret not because I know that this initial conversation about sex will be one of hopefully many. Yes, I said hopefully many.

Because I want my children to ask me lots and lots of questions about sex. I want them to feel free to bring up the topic at bedtime, at the dinner table, when we are baking cookies (let’s be honest…this isn’t happening. I’m not Martha Stewart), whenever.

And I want the nitty gritty questions asked like:

What’s oral sex?

How about masturbation?

Is heavy petting okay? (is it still called that or is it just “dry humping” these days?) Continue reading Sex is Yours

Stop Quoting the Bible

There used to be a time when I memorized scripture at a furious rate, filling myself up with verse after verse, like a kid with birthday cake.

Now, I glance at my Bible from time to time. Or read, really read, once a week wherein God gives me some perfectly timed, needed encouragement or admonishment. I’ve ditched the church-imposed idea of morning/daily quiet times.

But, some of us have begun to reduce the Bible to a series of catchphrases or quotes. As if the Bible is analogous to the latest bestselling self-help book:

7 Easy Verses to a Better Life

Read the Bible to Win at Life

Success: It’s only 5 Short Verses Away

Because the Bible is a lot of things, but one thing it is not is the Christian version of self-help non-fiction.

More than that, when crisis strikes, as it always and inevitably does, that is when so many us begin frantically quoting scripture–pulling out all of the usuals: Continue reading Stop Quoting the Bible

The End of Bible Studies and What Jesus Really Looks Like

For years, my daughter had attended a Friday night small group at my in-laws house, while Jonathan and I would sneak off to enjoy our coveted date night. Riley would be scooped up onto her grandmother’s lap, raise her hands in worship, open her little kid Bible, and listen quietly as a group of twenty-somethings would exalt Christ.

My daughter began to refer to this meeting as “Bible study” and she looked forward to going each week. From the age of 2 until almost 6, she attended this small group and I can only imagine how much she gleamed in that time.

But as our family was re-directed by the Lord to leave traditional church and set about starting an organic church, both mine and Jonathan’s language had to change…and so did Riley’s. Each Saturday, our home is filled with 25 adults and almost as many children, where we gather corporately to worship Jesus.

Riley would geek out each Saturday morning, as the extrovert in her could hardly stand the few hours that had to pass before her church family arrived. “I can’t wait for Bible study!” she would yell.

Jonathan and I realized that we needed to correct her language, just as the Lord had corrected ours. This is not Bible study, we told her. This is church. We are the church. This is a family and this is our corporate gathering–where we all come together. But you, and your brother, and mom and dad, and any and everyone who loves Jesus is “The Church.” How cool is that….?

Perhaps it seems a small thing too. The very concept has become so trendy now: “We are the church.” But tell this to a six-year old who loves Jesus and watch it become meaningful and powerful once again.

But I won’t lie, I’m still grappling with this—still trying to grow in discernment of what it really means to be the Body. Continue reading The End of Bible Studies and What Jesus Really Looks Like

Your Bag of Stinking Sin

Did you know that you don’t actually own your sin anymore? Jesus does. It’s not yours.

If I walked into a store and you were selling a bag of manure and I bought it from you, well, that manure would be mine. That bag of sh*t, literally. And for no reason would you attempt to buy back that bag of crap. Why would you? For what purpose? To once again have it strapped to your back, reeking and soiled, putrid and profane…

Because, I now own it–bought and paid. I can do with it what I please and you can no longer make any claims over the bag’s contents.

But what we so often do, is let Jesus buy our bag of manure–our sin, our past, our shame, our regret–and then we secretly act as though we still own it. Continue reading Your Bag of Stinking Sin

Our Ugly Jesus

When you imagine Jesus, what do you see? A man with a lovely shining face, long flowing hair, and a winning smile? Is your Jesus sun-kissed and bronzed, not quite Middle-Eastern and not quite Caucasian? A perfectly handsome, approachable, and even Western looking man?

We’ve all seen the paintings that hang on church walls and in elderly ladies homes–Jesus in His traditional white robe, surrounded by lambs and children, whilst His long dark hair blows softly in the wind.

But, is this really Jesus?

Was the Son of Man really a mix of a Ken doll and Romeo? Probably not. Many Bible scholars actually believe (and not that they are always right) Jesus was, in fact, ugly.

Yes…our ugly Savior. And so what if He was ugly, what does that matter?

Actually, it matters a lot… Continue reading Our Ugly Jesus

The Myth of a Personal Savior

My church family is amazing. Glorious, really. And when I say glorious, I mean that it is the fullest representation of Christ I have ever experienced. It is the body of Christ–expressing itself through a people committed to loving one another, serving one another, ministering to one another, and worshipping with Christ as our Head.

So, now that I got that out of the way…

The other day, my sister Carrington (sister, meaning my sister in the faith) made a brilliant observation. A few of us women from our church family were talking and praying together–just sharing some of the struggles we had encountered that week. As we talked, we realized that many of us had been dealing with the exact same struggles.

I watched as we ministered to one another and carried the burden for one another. Me for her and she for me. Lifted. Freed. Lightened.

It was then that she explained that what we were doing–was being the church. The modern church, she went on, incorrectly promotes the idea of a personal Savior or a personal Jesus (anyone remember a certain Depeche Mode song?) Continue reading The Myth of a Personal Savior

The Acceptable Christian Sin

Today, I’m over at Ken Hagerman’s blog, Rambling with the Barba, talking about the sins that we Christians deem acceptable versus the ones we do not. Here’s a snippet:

Beyond the lingo though, I quickly learned that certain things were completely acceptable within the church culture, while others were not. When it came to the discussion of sin I realized that what I would have openly confessed was simply not okay to share.

The excited, geeked-out-for-Jesus newbie believer that I was didn’t know the difference. I knew that the Bible said to confess our sins to one another and our God who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins (1 John 1:9). So I was ready to confess. I was ready to lay it all on the table–the dirt, the grime, the reeking stench of my sin. I wanted it gone. I wanted that forgiveness.

But, I watched as it was quietly, subtly, and yet systematically made clear to me that only certain sins can be confessed–at least out loud. There were the acceptable “Christian sins” and then there was the rest.

To read more, please join me over at Ken’s blog today and show some comment love. I hope to see you there.

The Email that Enraged Me and Why I Blame the Church

I received an email this week from a man stating that he and his wife were in need of some counseling and advice. He went on to say, however, that they were having trouble “gaining access to the leaders” at their own church and would I be able to direct them to some other resources.

My stomach dropped. I re-read the sentence 3 times for fear that I had read it incorrectly.

Trouble gaining access? How can this be? How is this happening within the church?

There is no door marked “leaders only.” There is no secret club of the “qualified,” no spiritual speakeasy.

The anger I felt while reading this email was palpable. Yet, I believe it angers the Lord even more to know that His people are daily made to feel that they have no power, authority, or place in the Body. To know that the people of God are made to feel ineffective, useless, and weak by other members of the Body.

There’s the rub and it is tragic.

And it is this convuluted warped thinking that enrages me almost more than anything within the church–the twisted lies we believe (often because of those in leadership) that tell us we cannot serve, cannot give, cannot impact the Kingdom, because we don’t wear the title of “leader,” or “pastor,” or carry a degree from the nearby seminary.

I’ve written this before, but I feel compelled to write it again:

You don’t need a degree or a certificate. You don’t need 3 years of off-site training or a letter from your pastor. You don’t need to attend seminars or conferences, write a book, or run a ministry.

You have everything you need.

His name is the Holy Spirit.

And it is Him, not man, that makes you approved, called, qualified, chosen, ready, equipped, sent, and full of power.

So, if you woke up today feeling powerless or desperately wanting to be used by God, know that you have everything you need. Ask of your Father. Forget what “they” have told you is or isn’t possible. The Creator of the Universe lives in you. He calls you home.

If you truly believe this, you cannot fear man. You can only set forth to please God.

Go.

Disclaimer: No, I do not know every detail abou this couple or their church. I do not know their pastor or the specifics regarding their need for counseling. Yes, I admit that there are two sides to every story and in no way am I trying to bad mouth a specific church. All that to say, this particular email struck a nerve with me and led me to write this post.

Caught in the Act

Today’s guest post is from the talented Allison Vesterfelt. If you’ve yet to check out Allison’s blog, please do. I promise you will be encouraged, challenged, and inspired. I’m honored to feature her here today and I hope you enjoy.

Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing?

I have, on more than one occasion actually, but one particular time sticks out in my mind. I was caught telling a lie to a person I loved, and when the truth was uncovered, the person I lied to was really, really angry.

On the one hand, I understood why this person was so mad. I had lied, after all, betrayed the trust we had built together. I would have been mad too, if I’m being honest. But at the same time I was frustrated with what seemed to me like righteous indignation. Was this person perfect? Had he/she never done something regretful? Was it so impossible to understand where I was coming from? I apologized, but my apology was tangled with justification. Continue reading Caught in the Act

The Biggest Lie I Believe About God

Here’s what I know:

My past does not determine my future. In the economy of God, what I have done does not determine what I will do. Under Jesus Christ, my past holds no power and my future is filled with freedom.

That is what I know. But, what I know and what I believe are two very different things.

I’ve been known to be really good at dishing out advice to others, only to turn around and question whether the same thing holds true for myself.

I can tell a friend all day long, “God is good. He loves you. He is for you.” And I mean it. And I believe it. I could sell that line all day long.

But, as soon as my own difficulty comes, I immediately assume that those same truths don’t apply to me. Intellectually, I know they are true, but emotionally I doubt. Basically, I throw rationale out the window. Oh, and reason, and truth, and wisdom…blah, blah, blah… Continue reading The Biggest Lie I Believe About God