My Porn Story

My Porn Story

Last week, I posted a video called Ted Bundy’s Dirty Little Secret. The comments that followed were impassioned and varying. The dirty little secret is pornography. I promised to do a follow-up post discussing my own personal views and story regarding the subject, so here I am, ready to talk porn.

I imagine that almost all of us, in one way or another, have been affected by pornography. It is so rampant and so prevalent that it is difficult to escape.

My porn story is probably very much like other porn stories, and it begins on a warm Arizona afternoon… Continue reading My Porn Story

Your Husband is NOT a Pervert, Part 2: Top 3 Ways to Help Her Understand

This is a guest post from none other than my hubster, Jonathan, in follow-up to last week’s first-parter. It’s a doozy.

Well I’m glad to know that my wife doesn’t think I’m a pervert. I would’ve guessed that, but it’s always good to have her own written words to point back to in our future discussions about sex. Ah, the joys of a blogging wife.

But what about you poor fellas out there that don’t have my same fortune? You men out there with wives who think you’re just a plain sick-o that thinks about sex “all the time” and happens to be “in the mood” at the absolute worst times. Or perhaps you have a wife that gets the general gist, but could still use some coaching on what you want in the bedroom. This one’s for you, gentlemen.

Your mission, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to help your wife understand your sexual needs and wants. Easier said than done, right? Well, let’s brainstorm, guys (and ladies, we’ll even let you listen in and provide your thoughts, too)…

Continue reading Your Husband is NOT a Pervert, Part 2: Top 3 Ways to Help Her Understand

Ted Bundy's Dirty Little Secret

I saw this video a week or so ago over at Human 3rror. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. Please take a few minutes to watch. It is extremely powerful and devastating.

Then consider these questions: How do you see Bundy’s “dirty little secret” affect the world? The church? Individual homes? Marriages? Have you ever struggled with the same “dirty little secret” or known people who have? How do we battle this “secret”?

Next Tuesday I will be doing a follow-up post on this topic, discussing my own personal experiences with the same “dirty little secret.”

Sorry, But You CAN’T Have it All

You Cant Have it All

Today’s post is the third in the Don’t Believe the Lie series. Americans are constantly fed the line that we deserve everything and we can have anything. We are told that, when it comes to career, family, finances, and material possessions, we really can have it all.

The sad thing is, this is simply not true. “Having it all” is a cultural myth that people have spread in order to justify the numerous and varying priorities in life, constantly pulling us in different directions.

Having it all conjures up ideas of a perfect life, filled with things and stuff, while simultaneously holding your dream job and being married to your soul mate. I hate to say it, but I’ve got to: Sorry, but you can’t have it all. Continue reading Sorry, But You CAN’T Have it All

God WILL Give You More Than You Can Handle

God Will Give You More

I don’t remember the first time I heard the phrase “God will never give you more than you can handle,” I just know that, at some point, it became a Christian-ism for me. I felt comforted knowing that God would never allow anything to happen that I could not “handle,” whatever that meant. I’d always be okay. Things would never be so terrible, as to crush me.

I remember quite a few years ago even writing those words to a Jewish friend of mine who was going through a difficult time. I felt like it was in the Bible. It seemed like it should be in the Bible. It sounded scripture-y. I didn’t actually check to see if it was in the Bible however.

But then I got knocked up side the head with the truth. Last week I wrote the post, You CANNOT Be Anything You Want, which was part one in my latest series, Don’t Believe the Lie. You see, that whole “God won’t give you more than you can handle” business is a lie, as well. A nice, big, fat one, too. Oh, how Satan has twisted that one and we’ve bought it.

The truth is, the Bible doesn’t talk about giving or not giving us more than we can handle. Continue reading God WILL Give You More Than You Can Handle

Women in Ministry, Part 3: A Portrait of Bianca Juarez

Women in Ministry Part 3

Today is part 3 of the Women in Ministry series on Modern Reject. I have written about the different schools of thought on the subject, as well as my personal stance. Through the ongoing conversation regarding women serving in ministry, some great questions were raised, like: Can women teach men? Is that possible without them exerting authority over them? Today, I am writing about one particular woman in ministry named Bianca Juarez who happens to speak in front of many different audiences, from high schoolers to women’s groups. Today’s post is a portrait of Bianca, a young woman called to a specific ministry by and through the Lord’s direction. My hope is that, in examining her ministry, it will open our eyes to the possibilities of women in ministry, both now and in the future.

Last week, I had the chance to hear Bianca speak in my hometown of Phoenix, Arizona. Her ministry is called In the Name of Love and she says this about her calling: Continue reading Women in Ministry, Part 3: A Portrait of Bianca Juarez

Women in Ministry, Part 2 of 3

Women in Ministry Part 2 of 3

To many outside of the Church, Christianity represents some kind of oppressive, anti-female, pro-male culture. I would have to say  that, if that were true, I would probably have walked away from Christianity a long time ago. My personal experience with Jesus has been something quite different from what feminists would have you believe. I believe the Apostle Paul when he wrote the Galatians:

“…for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith. For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

Last Wednesday, I wrote a post on the topic of women in ministry, which was the first in a 3-part series. I presented the three (or so) different schools of thought on the subject. I was curious to see what opinion you all hold on the subject, as well. It was a mixed crowd, however most of you identified yourselves as moderates. Today’s post, Women in Ministry Part 2 answers the question:

Where do I fall on the subject of women in ministry? Continue reading Women in Ministry, Part 2 of 3

Women in Minstry, Part 1 of 3

Women in Ministry Part 1 of 3

The role of women in ministry within the church can be a touchy subject. People start asking questions like, “Can women teach men?” or “Can women be head pastors?” To be honest , I never spent too much time thinking abut it. I knew what I felt about the subject, but had never gone beyond that. I hadn’t  examined the scriptures, for example, or prayed to see where perhaps God was leading me on the subject. Until recently…

I am currently enrolled in a Women in Leadership Development course (that’s right, it’s W.I.L.D.). It is 2 year program designed to encourage, train, and raise up female Christian leaders. A few weeks ago we  heard a lecture on “women in ministry”. I realized then, how much of a divisive issue this truly is.  Today’s post is part one of a three part series, discussing women and their role in ministry. Since today is Wednesday–and that means it is He Said/She Said day, where I write about all things related to men, women, or both–I thought I’d talk about this somewhat controversial issue… cause that’s how I roll… Continue reading Women in Minstry, Part 1 of 3

What Makes a Woman Worthy of Marriage?

What Makes a Woman Worthy of Marriage?

Last Wednesday on He Said/She Said I posed the question: What makes a man worthy of marriage? A lot of you weighed in on the subject, mostly men in fact. I determined that in order for a man to be worthy, he has to actually be a man. Then I listed three qualities that I think make a man a man, man (I love those Old Spice commercials, sorry).  This week the question goes out to all the ladies:

What makes a woman worthy of marriage? Is it her good looks? Oh, I sure hope not. Is it her mothering skills? The way she cooks, cleans, or says “Yes, honey”? If so then I am in trouble.

I was mulling over this question. It seemed so much harder for me to answer. I was talking over the topic with my husband and he said this:

Just like men need to be men in order to be worthy of marriage women need to not be men, to be worthy of marriage.

Huh? “Yes, that’s right,” I thought. Women need to stop trying to be men if they are to be worthy of marriage. Here’s why: The “F” word. Continue reading What Makes a Woman Worthy of Marriage?

What Makes a Man Worthy of Marriage?

We have all heard the saying: A good man is hard to find. This phrase is sad, but true. A good man is hard to find.

Good woman aren’t much easier to find. It seems that many young men and women today grow up to be anything but. Long gone are the days of men acting like men and women behaving like women. The values that once helped shape a young person into a admirable adult are no longer taught or even acknowledged, values like: honesty, integrity, courage, honor, responsibility, and respect.

Today, culture values values individualism, self-reliance, wealth and material success, education, and a cut-throat drive. In a world teeming with self-absorbed, self-focused individuals it is difficult to find people to befriend let alone marry. And if you are a woman looking to be married, it can be as I said before “hard to find a good man.”

So where do you look to find such a man? Once you have found him how do you evaluate whether or not he is marriage material? What makes a man worthy of marriage? Continue reading What Makes a Man Worthy of Marriage?