Jesus Archives - Modern Reject

Why Church is Hard…

{From the archives} As Easter came and went this year, I realized in my post-candy-“He is Risen”-haze that I didn’t really feel connected to Jesus this Easter.

I can remember Easter’s past, when just hearing the name “Jesus” would cause my eyes to swell with tears and my throat to tighten. This was not that year. In fact, I felt little of nothing and that made me feel, well, a little guilty.

And as I was lying in bed on Sunday night, I tried to talk to God and understand just where I went wrong this Easter. I concluded, based upon His silence, that while I wanted to say that He just doesn’t care about the things that I care about–the truth is, I haven’t been caring about the things He cares about.

To add insult to injury, I have begun to question things that I have never questioned. I have begun to wrestle with things I have always assumed I would never need to wrestle against. And I’m scared.

I realized however, that I wasn’t the only one left feeling empty and disconnected this Easter. Except that this was new to me. I’ve never had an Easter like this, but I shouldn’t be surprised because…

…Church is hard.

Church isn’t easy. Being the church isn’t easy (and to quote Coldplay, no one said it’d be this hard).

But there is one glaringly obvious reason as to why church is hard. It explains all the heartache, disappointment, loneliness, isolation, disillusionment, and even anger that so many of us in the church experience… Continue reading Why Church is Hard…

I Want a Break From God

My high school senior English teacher was pretty much Elaine from Seinfeld. I loved her. We all loved her. During one of her famous passionate lectures, she once commented about how nice it must be to be a stupid person. She explained that there must be something quite freeing about being able to shut off your brain and quit thinking about something–to essentially think about nothing.

Because intelligent people, she argued, were always thinking. In fact, they never stopped thinking…and it was exhausting. She envied the dumb.

This resonated with me (not that I consider myself brilliant by any means)–the fact that I cannot stop myself from thinking. I read this the other day and smiled because it is me: “I’ve been overthinking about overthinking again.”

You’d think that thinking would prove more fruitful, but no. Instead, I wonder how I get here again and again. It seems so futile–the race and the running, when despite my best effort I find myself doing just that.

And that is part of the problem, my effort. I hate striving. I hate watching “Christians” strive for Jesus. Wondering what we can do for God instead of being with God. Working instead of abiding. Trying instead of receiving.

So when it’s my turn, I feel like a failure and a liar. A fraud. Continue reading I Want a Break From God

Should God Alone Make You Happy?

Recently, in a church gathering the discussion of whether or not “God is enough” came up. Some passionately explained that “God is enough” for them and that we, as believers, don’t need anything else.

I, however, just as passionately disagree. Yes, I concede that God is enough–or rather He can be enough, but He isn’t meant to be “enough.” God never intended for us to walk through life with nothing but Him.

The discussion reminded me of this post I wrote quite a while back. Do you agree or disagree?

Christians don’t throw around the word “happy” too often. We are cautious of the word because we think it sounds earthly, temporal, and fleeting. We much prefer the word “joy.” Joy is of God. Joy is rooted in something more than a mere mood or a passing event. In fact, the joy of the Lord is our strength, so says the Bible.

But, is it so bad to just want to be happy? I mean, happiness is still cool right? It’s okay for Christians to be happy, isn’t it? Personally, I’d take a big ‘ol plate of happiness any day of the week.

Filling up your life with things that make you happy is healthy, and yet I know some Christians for whom this is especially difficult. They operate under the belief that God alone is suppose to make you happy…and nothing else. Happiness, they believe, should come from Him and nowhere else.

Is it sacrilegious for me to say that I disagree with that statement? God says we shall worship no other god. I’m all for that commandment but does that mean that God is to be the sole source of our happiness? Can we find happiness elsewhere? Continue reading Should God Alone Make You Happy?

Why My Church Rarely Does “Prayer Requests”

Ah, the prayer request. The quintessential Christian experience–sitting around in a circle, sharing often benign, usually safe, terribly tame “prayer requests” with one another.

They usually sound something like this: “I really need a new job or a pay raise. So pray for that please.” Or “My fiance and I are trying to figure out when to get married. Please pray that God would tell us.”

(Let me also preface this post by stating that I am not anti-prayer request. of course not. I have been apart of many groups, be it Bible studies or women’s groups where prayer requests were a welcome and important part of gathering. But God has also shown me something different…)

It’s funny because after becoming a believer, I just went right along with the whole “prayer request” model. I didn’t know any differently. I certainly didn’t know any better. Why would I? Except that when I look in scripture I see no prayer request like model. Now, I’m not one of those people who says “If it ain’t in the Bible, don’t do it.” Please, no. The Bible isn’t exhaustive because God is an infinite God. I don’t try to squeeze Him into a few hundred pages.

All that to say, just because prayer requests aren’t in there, doesn’t mean scripture says nothing about prayer, in general. It says a lot about prayer in fact. But, don’t worry I’m not about to give you an overview of what the Bible says about prayer (zzzzzzz….).

What I am going to give you, however, is a glimpse into how my church family prays for one another which does not usually include prayer requests. Hopefully, you be encouraged to read about another way to pray. Continue reading Why My Church Rarely Does “Prayer Requests”

Size Doesn’t Matter

(I love me a titillating blog title, don’t you?)

The organic church I am blessed to be a part of has been growing as of late. We have had many guests. Some stay. Some do not. We have also had a few other organic church or house churches visit us.

Some have come just to observe. Some have come to be equipped. Some have come to simply be filled up.

After our “Jesus meeting” one Saturday, I was saying goodbye to a man in his twenties whom the Lord has called to shepherd a flock in a newly forming organic church. While wishing him a goodnight, I told him that Jonathan and I would love to come visit their meeting sometime.

He hesitated for a brief second and said “Well, we are small…nothing like this,” referring to the church body that gathers in my home with upwards of 60 people some weeks.

“Don’t say that,” I told him. “It is not small in God’s eyes.”

He looked at me. “You’re right,” he said quickly, catching his mistake. “It’s not small in God’s eyes. I have to remember that.”

“It has often been that the greatest thing of God has been very small in the eyes of man.” T. Austin Sparks Continue reading Size Doesn’t Matter

The Future of Modern Reject

Let me start by saying “thank you.” Thank you for sticking with me despite my virtual disappearance from this blog. Thank you for being patient with me while I figured out what the heck I’m doing. Thank you for still being willing to read and be a part of this community. You guys are the best. Really. I mean it.

Secondly, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for just leaving and not telling you where I was going. To be honest, I didn’t intend on leaving. I took one week off due to busyness. The next week I felt uninspired. The following weeks I was on vacation and then really sick. And before I knew it, over a month had gone by without so much as a “Hey dude, what’s up?” from me. So I’m sorry.

Now that we’ve gotten all that out of the way. Let’s talk. I’ve had some things on my mind and I gotta tell you guys.

Last week, I turned 33. (This, I don’t wanna talk about.) But, every year my birthday rolls around I can’t help but get all reflective and introspective. Which got me thinking about Modern Reject. In doing so, I realized that I have really been lacking motivation, passion, and vision for my writing. Continue reading The Future of Modern Reject

The Invasion of Jesus

I’m an introvert and like any good introvert I avoid people. Well, not avoid people, so much as don’t like people. I’m kidding. Sorta.

Basically, I need my space…and a lot of it.

And also like any good introvert, I especially dislike meeting new people. I get squirmy (on the inside) and sometimes feel like I’m going to barf (on the outside). I take time to really like people. I might love you right away because Jesus has this thing He does that makes that possible, but the liking part and the trusting part and the open and vulnerable part, that takes time.

Unless of course Jesus is doing something else, which He is known to do. . So when that something else happens, my introversion goes out the window. My heart bursts forth, my arms fling wide open, my spirit smiles because it knows…

…that this person is different. This one, this person, He is calling me towards. Continue reading The Invasion of Jesus

There’s No Such Thing as “Supernatural”

Things are changing around here. Slowly but surely. God is redirecting my words and thus, this blog. Yet despite this, I’ve had a difficult time writing.

But, God keeps nudging me…forward. Except that much of what I used to write is no longer how I want to write, or what I want to write.

I sat the other day looking through my blog post ideas, a seemingly endless list of notes I’ve jotted down. While scrolling my post ideas I I found a draft titled “Supernatural Everyday.”

It got me thinking. I have to admit, I’ve been surprised by your reactions to my recent posts. I suppose I shouldn’t be. Perhaps I didn’t give you guys enough credit. Perhaps I underestimated you.

For that, I’m sorry.

But, I am thankful that the threshold has been crossed–that door has been flung wide open. Cliche as it is, there’s no going back.

Because what I have come to realize, no, what I’ve come to know, is that there is no such thing as the supernatural.

People either whisper this word or refuse to speak it. The “supernatural”, the spooky-spookiness of God. God the vodoo doctor. God the charlatan. Continue reading There’s No Such Thing as “Supernatural”

Homogenous Jesus

Every Saturday, my home is filled with 25 or so adults and almost as many kids. We file in, greeting one another with hugs, laughter, and joy. Eventually we make our way to our living room, where we gather corporately, where we re-confess that Jesus is Head, and we allow the Holy Spirit to lead us in our time together.

Jesus is so faithful. Never has a Saturday gone by when a clear theme did not emerge, becoming so evident where God was taking us, teaching us, leading us.

I imagine, that many who do not know what organic church looks like, assume that at some point we must have discussed theology or doctrine in our corporate setting. That somewhere in the midst of this time, Jesus must have led someone to bring up a doctrinal point.

And if you assume this, you’d be wrong.

In over a year of meeting, we have never had a corporate gathering that has lead us to a theological discussion. Even writing it, I feel a bit surprised. How can that be?

Yes, we are discussing theology in the sense that we talk about God–and that is the simplest definition of theology–the study of the nature of God. But, what I mean more specifically is I have never witnessed a member of my church family submit their own theology to the body, try to debate, or try to convince others that their beliefs are right.

Which begs the question, perhaps there is no need for such discussions, because we must all hold similar, if not the same, theologies.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Continue reading Homogenous Jesus

My Physical Healing: Part 3

Today is the third and final installment of the 3 part series on my physical healing. If you haven’t read Part 1 and 2, catch up!

As I sat studying the list the Lord had just given me, I was certain that much of what I heard was simply made up. Right? It had to be. I had written down things that seemed completely ridiculous–comical even. I was sure that they didn’t even exist.

One such item I heard was “artichoke.” Yes, artichoke, as in the spiny delicious vegetables I like to drown in butter. And you know when you hear something from the Lord and He leaves you with an impression or a feeling? Where nothing was explicitly stated, but in general, you have a sense about something?

Well, this is often how I “hear” the Lord, although it is more like “feeling” the Lord. All that to say, I somehow knew that the word “artichoke” didn’t mean I supposed to just eat a bunch of them. I was supposed to take artichoke as a supplement.

I also knew this was the case because many of the other items on my God-given grocery list were vitamins or nutritional supplements of some kind.

Things like: Continue reading My Physical Healing: Part 3