Friday Findings: Deathbeds, Adoption, and No One at Church

Frieday Findings on Modern RejectThis week’s Friday Findings is a hodge-podge of the weird, kooky, silly, touching, and heartbreaking. Just the way I like it. Enjoy.

These awkward Jesus pictures have been floating around Facebook. If you’ve missed ’em, here ya’ go. You’re welcome.

This might be my favorite finding of the week. It is worthy of its own post and I found it fascinating. There’s not much to say except that we all long for something. Every single one of us–famous or not–is seeking something more, Someone more, whether we are able to articulate that longing or not.

The Top 5 Regrets People Make on Their Deathbeds. This is so poignant. Number 4 spoke to me especially. I am not good at maintaining friendships. It has always been work, but I do not want to carry any regrets. Which one speaks to you?

I really really like Halloween. Not so much the demons and darkness bits, but more so the costumes and the candy. Sorry if you don’t feel the same. And I enjoy a scary novella from time to time (I’m currently reading some H.P. Lovecraft. Know him?). I’ve always enjoyed the creepy, the bizarre, and the morbid. What can I say? So when I found this list of some of the scariest books ever written I smiled.

This story breaks my heart and pisses me off for the sheer fact that any child living in America should never have to do this. I can’t criticize though. I haven’t opened my home to any orphaned children…yet. God used this story to open my heart up even more to the idea.

An Open Letter from Asian American Evangelicals to Stop Being Stereotyped. A thought-provoking and heart-felt plea. “We have imagined and hoped for such a different future for the church, one in which racial harmony would not be an illusion, but a tangible reality.”

What Doesn’t Impress Me–A Message to 20’s and 30’s. Frank again. Bam. And ouch…in a good way.

Why Nobody Wants to God to Church Anymore. I have to say, I very much agree with the author’s reasoning as to why people just don’t want to go to church these days. I sympathize. Heck, I empathize. But the only thing this article did was make me ever more grateful for a church body literally freed from everything on this list.

There you have it. Maybe one of my favorite round-ups ever. What about you? Did anything on the list get you thinking? Got anything good to share with me? WHat have you read, loved, disliked, or rejoiced over this week?

Friday Findings: Pleasing God, Don’t Be You, and Sh*%theads

Frieday Findings on Modern RejectYes, I know you can hardly believe it…I’m not only writing, but I’m writing a Friday Findings post. I think it’s been about forever since I wrote one of these suckers.

I’ve missed them. I always read so much rad stuff that I want to share with you guys each week and hopefully I’ll be at it again.

So lets get the party started.

Jamal (and his wife) do it again. If you don’t follow, read, or subscribe to Jamal Jivanjee yet, do it! His blog produces so much conversation, prayer, thought, and revelation in my life. No joke. Jamal often does interviews on his blog. I was honored to do one, in fact. A few weeks ago, he interviewed his wife Brandie and it broke me wide open. Her answers were filled with such wisdom, truth, and beauty. I even shared some of what she said with my church family in our corporate gathering.

Stop Trying to Be You–Jesus. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again–Sammy is the dude version of me. I love everything he writes. This was no exception. 

What Pleases God. I love the simplicity yet profundity of this post by Frank Viola. Be encouraged by this.

This is Why I Date Shitheads (When I date at All). I hope you’re not easily offended by language and such, because if you aren’t, you can enjoy the witty, pithy, wisdom and hilarity of my friend Chelsea Batten. Chelsea is a real writer, not a blogger like me. She is a master word-slinger and I’m jealous of her craft. Read it and enjoy. 

Have you seen this video yet? I posted this gem on my Modern Reject Facebook page (which you should so totally “Like” so we can be even more of BFF’s). If you missed it there, watch it here. Or watch it again, but grab Kleenex first. Can anyone say “snot-fest?”

And finally, a while ago Google Reader said bye-bye. If you used to subscribe to Modern Reject via RSS and haven’t found a new way to subscribe, here are a few recommendations. I personally have started using Bloglovin’ and I like it so far. You can find me here.

Or if feeds and technology aren’t your thing, you can add me to your inbox. I promise to be short and sweet (mostly). Just type your email address into that nifty little box at the top of the home page. And wait for a surprise from “The King”. Promise, it’s worth it.

Whew. Done.

And I loved every second of it. Get to reading already, but not before you tell me what you’ve been reading, loving, watching, and enjoying lately. Go!

#1 and #2 of the Top 10 Modern Reject Posts of 2012

I’ve been a little behind on posting these, so I combined the last two posts so we could get this countdown over with already. Hope you don’t mind…I’m sure you don’t.

As an aside, what were your favorite Modern Reject posts of 2012? Or any posts on any blog for that matter?

Mark Driscoll is My New Best Friend

In general, I like to avoid writing about divisive people. I find no joy or profit to be had in writing about someone with whom I theologically or fundamentally disagree. I don’t like to pick fights, as it were. And, as I’ve said before, I never want to stir up controversy for controversy’s sake (despite what some might believe).

But recent events have driven me to take notice. What I once shrugged off as Christian banter, I now recognize as something much more. I now know that Mark Driscoll has a lot of enemies, those who would desire to see him fail, be fired, or worse. And well, I just wanted to let Mark Driscoll know that he is my new best friend. You see…

I’ve begun to grow increasingly tired of all of the Driscoll bashing, hating, belittling, and finger-pointing. It seems as though every time I set out to read a blog or scan my feeds, there appears yet another target on Driscoll’s back.

To Read More, Click HERE

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6 Lies We Believe About the Church

One hundred religious persons knit into a unity by careful organization do not constitute a church any more than eleven dead men make a football team. The first requisite is life, always.“- A. W. Tozer

1. Church is optional. Ah, the lone believer, hell-bent on staying out of a church community for one reason or another. They were burned, chastised, or mistreated. And I get it. I, too, was a solo “Christian” trying to call a 5-minute quiet time and a snippet of scripture “church.” I know what it is to be community-less and long for (but never actually believe it could happen) a spiritual family, where brethren would lay down their life for one another–reminiscent of the book of Acts.

Oh yeah, but then, through a series of painful life-altering events (another post for another time), I came to see that church was not optional because, I was, in fact, the church. When scripture refers to the church as “the house of God,” “the Body of Christ,” “Christ’s bride,” it is referencing a people. Theekklesia, in Greek. It is not a place or a building, which leads me to…

To Read More, Click HERE

#3 of the Top 10 Modern Reject Posts of 2012

This post was written by my talented and obviously perceptive cousin, Ryan. He nailed this post about young women and their often misplaced and unhealthy adoration of the wrong types of men. This post proved to be insanely popular in 2012 from both men and women alike.

Women Who Idolize the Wrong Men

Lately, I have noticed a trend among college women and especially Christian college women. I see this trend as a cancer in the church that desperately needs to be cut out before it kills a generation of men and women…

For generations it has been expressed that men are the ones who deal with issues of lust and desire. Yet, with the modern day movie and music star, I believe that our women are being greatly affected by society’s lies of what they should be looking for in a man. I believe that this issue has been buried so deep that we often do not even see it as an issue.

Have you ever been with a group of women and listened to them talk about how they are “in love” with their favorite movie star? Or how they are going to watch their “boyfriend” on the big screen? Do you know women who talk non-stop about the men they idolize and how great it would be if they could just be married to them?

To Read More, Click HERE

#5 & #4 of the Top 10 Modern Reject Posts of 2012

I loved writing these two posts and have loved seeing how much people have shared them with their own spouses. It’s encouraging to know husbands and wives are interested in continuing to create and cultivate healthy, respectful, and fun marriages.

20 Ways to Love Your Husband Better

If you’ve been around here before, you probably know that I love, like luuuurve, my husband. Thing is, this shouldn’t be revelatory news. I mean, us wives should love our husbands.

But stuff happens. Life happens. Kids happen. Exhaustion happens. And before we know it, many of those lovey-dovey feelings fade into the background.

We become more like roommates than spouses. More like buddies than lovers. More like co-parents than two people crazy in love.

So what’s a wife to do?

To Keep Reading, Click HERE

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20 Ways to Love Your Husband Better

Last week, I shared a few ideas on how wives can love their husbands better. Well today, it’s the gentleman’s turn. That’s right fellas.

I know you husbands and even soon-to-be-husbands love your wives, but there are always ways in which we can show even greater love to our spouse.

Some of the things on this list are even things my husband does for me to show me just how much he cares. And I gotta say, I’ve got a great husband. So take heed.

To Keep Reading, Click HERE

#6 of the Top 10 Modern Reject Posts of 2012

I was hesitant to write this post, only because I am always reluctant to write about my personal life. Silly, I know, since the bloggers I personally enjoy and read the most, regularly let readers inside of their lives.

I battle feeling self-indulgent or appearing to be arrogant or haughty. I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging, which I’ve been accused of doing.

So, when I wrote this post I didn’t feel like it would matter much. And to be honest, when it was posted, it successful in terms of comments, shares, or traffic. But, this little bad boy grew legs and has generated a ton of online search traffic, landing it on the Top 10 of 2012. Looks like people really want to know how to find a spouse after all.

How I Met My Husband

In my time writing here on Modern Reject, one thing that people thank me for more than almost anything else is for talking so openly about my marriage. And more than that, people always thank me for painting a picture of a healthy, fun, rockin’, Christ-centered marriage.

I mean, occasionally I have someone tell me to quit bragging and sounding so prideful because, hey, not every marriage is awesome and I’m just pouring salt on others’ wounds. For this, I apologize, if this is the case. I never want to sound prideful, but truth be told, I am proud of my marriage.

I chose wisely and God hooked me up with an amazing man. Today, I thought I’d share the story of how I actually met my husband. Now, I know some might not be interested, but I also know that others will. I’m sharing this because I love to hear people’s love stories. They inspire me, encourage me, and bring a smile to my face.

I hope the story of how I met my husband does the same.

To Read More, Click HERE

#8 of the Top 10 Modern Reject Posts of 2012

Usually, when I sit down to write something, when it’s all said and done I feel okay about it. Not great. Not rad. Just so-so. Rarely, in fact, do I ever finish a post and think to myself “Good one, Nicole.” After writing this post, though, I felt satisfied. Actually, it was probably one of my favorites of this year.

And, it seems, many of you felt the same. So, thank you. [sniffle, tear]

What God Will Never Ask You

It’s inevitable–we’re all going to die. There, I said it. And now that I’ve started off this post on a happy note…

Since we know we’re going to die, then it goes without saying, we will assuredly stand before God in that lovely little thing called Judgement.

Now, I’m not heaven-minded. I don’t tend to have what they call an “eternal perspective.” I’m pretty much a today-is-the-day-kind- of-girl. But I know that much of what consumes me, what consumes us ad nauseam, is not what the Lord is consumed with. He is consumed with love. Heck, He is an all consuming fire (Hebrew 12:29).

Yet, when we consider these things, and I mean really consider them, perhaps we would think of Judgement a bit differently. When we are standing before God and we are asked to give an account of our life, what will He ask us? I doubt He will pose many questions regarding the things we find so pressing today.

Now, I’m not entirely sure. I’m just taking a guess here, but I’m pretty sure…

To Keep Reading, Click HERE

#9 of the Top 10 Modern Reject Posts of 2012

When I wrote this post, I had no idea so many women felt the same. I had no idea that so many women were just as disillusioned and turned off by women’s ministry.

I also found myself convicted, however, in realizing that it is not enough to just complain about something. If I’m going to air grievances and share hurts, I also have to be willing to do something about it and allow God to lead me forward.

Since writing this post, I have watched the Lord heal up old wounds and bring abut new relationships with women that have ofered me new hope. If you once felt I way I did, I pray the same for you.

Why I Don’t Like Women’s Ministry

I have some kind of adverse reaction to all things “womanly,” meaning all things related to women’s ministry. If I take it a step further, I really mean all things Christian and women.

…Things like scrapbooking, play dates, girls night out, quilted Bible covers, any mention of the Proverbs 31 woman, Beth Moore, touchy-feely-ness, emotions, and Christian romance novels. Eek!

Now don’t get me wrong, individually, I have secretly (and even occasionally, publicly) enjoyed many of these things, but that doesn’t change the fact that they also simultaneously make my skin crawl.

For a long time, I used to believe that I was just born a bit of a rebel. I can remember as a child naturally questioning authority. I never just took someone’s word for it.

To Keep Reading, Click HERE

When You’re in Love…

from the archives

When You’re in Love…

You think about the person upon waking up.

You can’t wait to talk.

You’re reminded of them throughout your day.

You’ll happily spend time with them, even if it means canceling plans.

When You’re in Love…

You tell everyone about the love in your life.

Things that once seemed crucial, suddenly seem less important.

Just being in their company is enough.

When You’re in Love…

Being apart is painful, unbearable even.

Things that once seemed trivial can become romantic.

You’d travel as far as necessary to see their face, be in their presence.

When You’re in Love…

Giving up something for them is done easily.

You’d happily spend a fortune on them.

Serving them becomes second nature.

When You’re in Love…

You could talk for hours and never be bored.

You couldn’t imagine your life without them in it.

You’re constantly reminded of how you don’t deserve them.

When You’re in Love…

When thinking of your future, they are always in it.

You smile when you hear their name.

Some might describe you as smitten, preoccupied, even obsessed.

You can’t fall asleep without telling them how much you love them.

So, how in love are you?

post inspired by Francis Chan and his book Crazy Love

6 Lies We Believe About the Church

One hundred religious persons knit into a unity by careful organization do not constitute a church any more than eleven dead men make a football team. The first requisite is life, always.“- A. W. Tozer

1. Church is optional. Ah, the lone believer, hell-bent on staying out of a church community for one reason or another. They were burned, chastised, or mistreated. And I get it. I, too, was a solo “Christian” trying to call a 5-minute quiet time and a snippet of scripture “church.” I know what it is to be community-less and long for (but never actually believe it could happen) a spiritual family, where brethren would lay down their life for one another–reminiscent of the book of Acts.

Oh yeah, but then, through a series of painful life-altering events (another post for another time), I came to see that church was not optional because, I was, in fact, the church. When scripture refers to the church as “the house of God,” “the Body of Christ,” “Christ’s bride,” it is referencing a people. The ekklesia, in Greek. It is not a place or a building, which leads me to…

2. We go to church. Those in the church, have long believed that we go to church. But, as stated above,  if we are the church, then this can’t actually be true. We don’t actually go to church on Sunday. What we do instead, is assemble where other members of the church happen to be, and we usually sit in a pew and listen to someone preach from the pulpit. This is not church. You are the church.

3. The church exists to reach the lost and unsaved. It was not so long ago that the Lord really clarified this point for me. In the Christian culture of “doing social justice,” “living missionally,” and “loving the unlovely,” it becomes easy to view the church as a vehicle in which to reach the unsaved.

However, this is not the primary function or purpose of the church. The church exists for the believer–to equip, edify, and empower the saints. To manifest the body and life of Jesus Christ. I know this might rub some people the wrong way, but if so, I encourage you to re-examine the scriptures. You may be surprised. I was.

4. A small group or Bible study is a perfectly acceptable replacement for “church.” Oh, I fell hard for this lie. I remember pastors enthusiastically telling me that if I had to choose between Sunday morning service and my weekly small group, I was to choose the latter. My small group, as it was explained  to me, was actually church.

Those pastors…they were trying. What they meant, or should have meant, was that a small group was more like church. But there was one big problem. We wrongly think that…

5. Hanging out with a group of individuals, just like us, is church. Sadly, what small groups, home groups, and many Bible studies have taught people is that a group of our peers gathered together is church. When Jesus refers to the “family of God,” I don’t think a twenty-somethings Wednesday night fellowship/hangout/thing is what He had in mind.

Families are made up of all kinds of people in all stages of life. There are moms and dads, brothers and sister, infants, cousins and even a few loud-mouthed crazy uncles (you know who you are). Church is, and should be, all of us. All the time.

6. We must grow the church. In the consumer-driven, “bigger is better” culture we find ourselves, many Christians have come to falsely believe that it is our responsibility to build the church. We think that we do the growing. But, 1Corinthians 3 teaches that, while some of us plant and others water, it is God who causes it to grow. We are “coworkers belonging to God,” allowed to fully in building His church. God is responsible…and I find that comforting.

Do you agree of disagree with my list? Have you fallen for any of these lies about church? What would you add to the list? Let’s hear it!